Somebody to die for
by WitoldoStudios
Summary: Steve and Natasha are two completely different people, however both struggling with their past. Will they find inner peace? Will they be able to lead a meaningful life? And finally, will they acknowledge the fact that opposites attract and their feeling for each other may be something greater than just friendship? The clouds are gathering... set after "The Avengers". Romanogers.
1. Day of the Exhibition

**A/N: I would like to welcome all fans of our undoubtedly favourite MCU duo – Steve and Natasha. Being a HUGE FAN of their relationship myself I truly hope you will enjoy my first FanFic just as much as I enjoyed working on it. My series is set after the Avengers and I intend to create a timeline of my own so do not get confused if the plot doesn't strictly correlate with the MCU films. Having said that I wish you a good read.**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Marvel Cinematic Universe, etc.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 1: Day of the Exhibition**

_So many people have come and gone_  
_Their faces fade as the years go by_  
_Yet I still recall as I wander on_  
_As clear as the sun in the summer sky_

_\- "More than a feeling" by Boston_

* * *

_Brooklyn, Friday afternoon_

It has been five years since the awakening and he would always feel like being a man out of time – not only physically but also mentally. Not being able to let go of his past and of those who he had lost, he would show up to this one specific exhibition which was held annually at his old apartment in Brooklyn and dwell on his past life.

When he first heard of such an event he was surprised by the fact, that so many people still remembered him and paid great respect to the legendary Captain, the soldier and the hero of the WWII conflict, who fought and was presumed to have perished in service of his country in 1945. He would always come here, to his old house in Brooklyn, now ruined and abandoned yet still standing – as a memorial. He would sit in a café nearby, sipping hot coffee and drawing in his sketchbook. It was truly incredible; after almost 70 years in the ice his hand was still steady and performed magnificently when it came to drawing. So he did – often staying past the closing hours of the café.

He detested being cornered by herds of fans, especially fangirls, so he would dress as a different person just to avoid all the attention of the New Yorkers. His standard outfit included cap, big glasses, leather jacket and jeans as well as sneakers, allowing him to blend in and be left alone.

He would draw on a regular basis during his breaks between missions from S.H.I.E.L.D. but this one particular day, the Day of the Exhibition, as he called it, was especially relevant to him. While sketching his old house, just as he remembered it as a child, he let out a quiet sigh. He recalled what he saw earlier today. On huge screens inside his old house (now turned into a museum) was displayed information about great Captain America, including his family background, where he grew up, how he met dr. Erskine – a man who irreversibly changed his life – as well as numerous photographs of him, his fellow Howling Commandos and of course – Peggy Carter.

He slowly closed his eyes.

_"Steven Grant Rogers was born in Brooklyn, New York on July 4th, 1918 to Joseph and Sarah Rogers. Raised by his mother, as his father was confirmed to have died in action during WWI. After numerous unsuccessful attempts to be recruited as a soldier Rogers volunteered for project "Rebirth" led by dr. Erskine whose aim was to create a super-soldier, a one-man platoon, capable of opposing the imminent threat of Hitler and secret nazi organization – the Hydra. During transformation Rogers achieved peak of human strength and agility and later on would play a critical role in the conflicts of WWII, leading his trusted team of Howling Commandos into various dangerous missions – always emerging victorious. Rogers was responsible for taking down the Hydra, secret occult organization within ranks of the nazis led by infamous Johann Schmidt, intending to overthrow Hitler and take control of the world itself. Captain Steven Grant Rogers succeeded in defeating Schmidt, even though it resulted in being frozen in ice for almost 70 years... "_

Steve sighed. It was so strange to read about himself as if he was some sort of historical exhibit. Yet there he was – a ninety-five years old super-soldier and WWII veteran, trapped inside the body of twenty-five years old male, trying to adjust himself to the new century, new lifestyle, new people and the fact that all those who he had befriended and loved – died, leaving him alone, except for one person.

Though it was so, so long ago Steve could still remember his last talk with Peggy before the crash. Captain remembered the moment when he finally asked her out for a date. As he was lowering the Hydra's plane into the freezing, northern waters he promised her a dance, a promise he was not able to keep.

"_Peggy… I'm gonna need a rain check on that dance._"

He sank the aircraft along with himself in the cold waters of the Arctic, with Peggy's words echoing in his mind:

"_Don't you dare be late!"_

But he was. 70 years late. He did not dance with her that Saturday night… nor any day since.

A small tear rolled down his cheek and fell to the ground.

"Oh Peggy..."

* * *

Steve packed his sketchbook, left a few dollars on the counter and walked out of the café. He put on his favourite leather jacket, got on his brand new Harley-Davidson – a present from Tony Stark – and sped off towards the Avengers Tower, still thinking about the Exhibition and Peggy.

Just as he entered Stark's tremendous sky-scraper, now known as the "Avengers Tower" in memory of the Battle of New York and its saviours, he was greeted by a voice with a characteristic accent.

_"Hello, Captain Rogers. How was your trip to Brooklyn?"_

Steve frowned, as he didn't recall telling anyone about his little escapade.

"Uh... It was fine. Thanks for asking JARVIS. Are there others in the Tower?" he replied.

_"Yes, sir. Everyone gathered on the communal floor. Shall I inform them of your presence?"_ AI asked.

Steve sighed. "No JARVIS. I'd like to be alone for some time." He said quietly.

_"Of course. Have a good evening, sir."_ JARVIS replied cordially.

For Steve it was still pretty weird to have a talking computer (not to mention the computer itself) around with human-like psyche. However it was quite convenient to have a super intelligent AI-system around. JARVIS was a tremendous help to everyone in terms of mission organization or keeping them up to date with orders from S.H.I.E.L.D. Fortunately the AI did not inherit any terrible traits of its creator.

Steve got into the elevator, pressed a silver button resembling his shield and headed straight for his floor, which Tony Stark would call "The Arctic" from time to time. Steve didn't find that funny at all but it didn't worried Tony whatsoever.

Steve entered his room and went straight for the shower. After that he was lying on bed for a very long time, reflecting upon his past, the war and Peggy. His eyes filled again with tears and he cried bitterly.

* * *

_Avengers Tower, Friday afternoon_

All the residents and guests of the Avengers Tower gathered at the communal floor having a whale of a time with each other. They gossiped, exchanged stories about their missions and told jokes. Thor, Jane and Darcy were talking with Tony and his girlfriend Pepper Pots who was trying her best to stop him from telling obscene jokes. Clint was sitting on a couch playing a video game conveniently called "Spies and Soldiers" with Natasha, while Bruce was having a conversation with Bobbi and Sam. There were also a few colleagues from S.H.I.E.L.D. Such meetings were on weekly basis, letting all the Avengers and non-Avengers to let off steam and share a great time with their friends before next assignments.

Then Clint asked without taking his eyes of the screen:

"Hey, have anyone seen Cap today?"

"Oh yeah, where's our dearest Capsicle?" Tony asked as well, looking around as if he was expecting Steve to be hiding under the kitchen table. "I thought he was finished with saving the universe for today."

"Maybe he had to stay after hours, who knows?" Bobbi said. "Fury seems a little bit on edge recently, maybe something has happened."

"And when he IS NOT on edge?" Natasha asked flatly.

"True that."

"Well Capsicle has just missed his opportunity to spend this lovely afternoon with me. Gosh, I'm offended." said Tony with exaggeration.

Pepper rolled her eyes and so did Natasha. Then she put the joystick away to Clint's disappointment.

"Hey, we haven't finished yet!" he said in a grumpy voice like a kid who was denied to eat cookies instead of dinner.

"I've already won Hawkeye. Beat it." Said Natasha smirking as Clint crossed his arms. Then she asked:

"JARVIS, is Steve home?"

The AI immediately responded: _"This information has been classified, madam."_

Everyone looked a bit surprised but Natasha smirked once more. "I see. Thanks JARVIS."

"_At you service, Agent Romanoff."_

"I'm gonna go check on him." Natasha said heading towards the elevator.

"Tell Capsicle that I miss him!" Tony yelled after her, causing everyone to roll their eyes again.

* * *

Natasha got into the elevator and pushed the button with Captain's shield symbol on it. As she was heading towards Steve's floor JARVIS initiated conversation.

"_I must warn you, Agent Romanoff that Captain Rogers does not wish be disturbed, he gave me speci -"_

"**JARVIS.**" Natasha said in her Black Widow's voice.

"_Of course madam, I beg your pardon."_ JARVIS replied to Natasha's amusement. All the Avengers knew she was not to be trifled with and even the AI respected her. She strutted out of the elevator intending to go directly for Steve's room when she heard a quiet cry. Natasha stopped, her eyes widened with surprise.

"_Captain America cries? Does that even happen?"_ she thought to herself and quietly entered his room. He was lying on bed curled up and sobbing. Sun was beginning to set and his room was illuminated by its last, bright sunrays.

"Hey." She said in surprisingly soothing tone. Normally she was emotionless towards everyone (thanks to the training by the Red Room) but for some reason not for Steve. He was her weakness, her soft spot though she would never admit it aloud.

"Hey Steve, what's wrong?" she asked sitting on a bed next to him. He slowly lifted his head and looked at her with his baby blue eyes, now swollen and filled with tears. He must have cried for a _long _time.

"Nat-natasha? I thought I told JARVIS I wanted to be alone." He muttered.

"He didn't tell me anything. I figured it out." Natasha replied smiling. "I thought maybe I should check up on you. What happened Steve? Something bad at work?"

"I wasn't at work today." Steve said quietly not looking at her.

"What? Then where?" she asked, startled by his words.

"I-I was at the Ex-exhibition." Steve said with new tears rolling down his face. "I saw pictures of me, Bucky, all of Howling Commandos, dr. Erskine and Colonel Philips. And the-then I saw her. Peggy…"

He was shaking uncontrollably and Natasha suddenly felt somewhat flustered and gloomy. Not wanting to show her emotions to the full extent she just sat closer to him but that was enough - he immediately clasped to her, still sobbing. Once again she was taken aback.

"_Damn. This cannot happen again. I am Black Widow for fucks sake"_ Natasha thought to herself and was about to tell Steve to pick himself up but then she just whispered: "Shh, It's okay Steve, it's okay, I'm here…"

He snuggled up to her and they were sitting there for a long time, his head on her lap until the sun sank below the distant horizon. Having decided it was better for him Natasha finally asked:

"Would like to be alone for some time?"

Stave nodded.

"Okay Steve. Try to get some sleep, you will feel a lot better tomorrow." Natasha said and headed for the door. As she was crossing the doorstep, she heard a few quiet words:

"Thank you Natasha…"

* * *

**That's it guys – my very own Romanogers FanFic. As you noticed I aim to name my chapters and add quotes from songs which tune into the story (I will credit the artists of course, don't you worry). I would love to hear what you think about it – feedback is always welcome. See you (hopefully) next time!**


	2. Revenants

**A/N: Hello again! I am extremely happy that my work hasn't gone unnoticed and I'd like to give my warm regards to those who liked (**_**Eroc901 The Clean Up Man, The Crowned Prince, croooll, Dragon Reverb and dhnysports88**_**) and followed (**_**Jedibeta19 and also Prince**_**) my previous chapter – Guys you are amazing. It is so cool to have readers.**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Marvel Cinematic Universe, etc.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 2: Revenants**

_My secret side I keep hid under lock and key_  
_I keep it caged but i can't control it_  
_Cause if I let him out he'll tear me up, break me down_  
_Why won't somebody come and save me from this, make it end?_

_\- Skillet, "Monster"_

* * *

_She walks down the dimly lit corridor, passing by multiple closed doors. They are all white, without handles, each one of them marked with a single red star. _

_She walks down the corridor and sees another door at the end of it. This one however is black and cracked open. Her pace quickens and she begins to run. The door seems as if it was shrinking and she concentrates her will as much as possible and finally reaches the far end of the hallway. _

_She hesitantly grabs the handle, not being sure why she has such terrible feeling about this, and opens the door in one swift move. She is standing in a small room, lit only by one flickering light bulb hanging from the dirty ceiling. And then she looks down on the ground and spots a dead body lying face down. She recognizes characteristic navy-blue, white and red uniform and blonde hair. The corpse is surrounded by a pool of crimson blood, which seems to be flowing towards her. Horrified by this sight she quickly retreats to the door... But it is gone. Just a solid, bare, concrete wall. _

_Suddenly she feels a weight in her right hand so she looks down and realizes what she is holding – an assassin's knife, its serrated blade stained with carmine droplets. She shakes uncontrollably and starts to scream..._

* * *

"NATASHA!" She abruptly woke up grabbing a pair of Glocks 17M from under the pillow and pointing them at frightened Steve who was standing by her bed.

"Hey, Natasha, it's just me!" Steve exclaimed with worry in his eyes and arms lifted in the air.

"Steve...?" She asked quizzically. "I'm sorry..." Natasha put the guns away to Steve's relief and cupped her head in her hands.

"Is everything okay? I heard you screaming, JARVIS almost called the ambulance." Steve asked looking concerned.

"Yeah, just had a bad dream. Don't worry about it." Natasha replied not wanting to talk about the nightmare. She wasn't ready for that. Frankly she doubted she would ever be – her demons were not to be seen and she intended to keep it that way.

Steve was still unconvinced but didn't question her further, knowing how stubborn Black Widow can be. Instead he walked up to the window and slid the curtains open. It was a beautiful sunny morning and redhead spy immediately felt better, feeling warm sun on her face.

"What time is it?" she asked.

"Almost seven. I made breakfast for you if you like." he said.

"That sounds nice. I'll be in the kitchen in ten minutes." she replied, getting up from the bed. Steve blushed heavily as she was wearing a loose white shirt, with black sporty underwear beneath it. Natasha grinned as he exited the room clumsily, closing the door behind him.

...

"My God, these taste _heavenly_." Natasha muttered with mouth full of homemade raspberry pancakes with vanilla and cinnamon. They were on the communal floor, Natasha sitting at the kitchen table, while Steve stood at the stove. She had to admit that he looked extremely attractive in white, tight T-shirt with SSR logo on it, _especially_ while cooking.

"_There must be something about men who can cook after all."_ She thought to herself.

The soldier just smiled at Natasha and returned to preparing a new portion of his specialty, when he saw Thor striding into the kitchen.

"Lady Natasha. Captain. I welcome thee on this beautiful day." Blonde god said stifling a yawn. Natasha and Steve nodded at him as Thor took his seat at the kitchen table.

"I took into consideration that our midgardian portions are insufficient for Asgardians so I prepared an extra-large one for you, Thor." Steve said handling Thor a giant heap of pancakes. Norse god eyed up all the happiness that was currently on his plate.

"Steven you truly deserve a title of the lord" Thor said and immediately began to wolf down the meal to Steve's amusement.

"Please don't say it when Tony is in the same room. It'll be a disaster." Steve said, checking if there wasn't any billionaire geniuses skulking around. Thor only managed to let out a husky growl as his mouth was full to such extent, that even Natasha was impressed that he was still able to produce any sounds.

"Where did you learn to cook like that?" Natasha asked, as she has just finished eating. "Those were delicious."

"At my old apartment in Brooklyn. I was so weak and sickly that I couldn't play much outside with other kids so instead I would watch my mother cooking. When you cook you don't get an asthma attack." Steve smiled with a mix of sadness and modesty on his face. "In time I picked up a thing or two."

"Captain you must visit Asgard and teach Odin's finest chefs to prepare these divine..." Thor finally swallowed and was able to construct full sentences.

"Pancakes?" Natasha finished and Thor nodded.

"Thank you, Lady Natasha. These pancakes would be a formidable asset to my father's feasts." boomed Thor with a wide smile.

"I will consider that." Steve chuckled and smiled as he saw Bruce Banner walking into the kitchen. Doctor was already fully dressed with glasses on and had a book in his hand with a long title combining words _physics_, _quantum_ and _thermonuclear_ far more often than it should be.

"Good morning, everyone. I was working at the lab but JARVIS mentioned some divine pancakes are being prepared so I came to investigate." he said with a smile.

And so other Avengers started to come in. There was always a strict order in which they would wake up. First one was of course Steve – thanks to his military training he would always wake up around 6.00 am. Then Natasha and Bruce, Thor, Clint and finally Tony and Pepper. They would gather at the communal floor and collectively eat breakfast, then scatter around the tower to attend their duties.

"We're gonna need a lot more pancakes." Steve said and saw Thor giving him the widest smile possible.

* * *

After the breakfast Steve went on his routine, morning run around the city. As a child he wasn't able to run for more than a few minutes before getting an asthma attack or gripe, but now he loved spending time with fresh air in his lungs, especially in Central Park when it was early and not overcrowded.

Venturing further into the verdant alleys, he ran feeling free of everyday bustle. After an hour of heavy exertion around the park he finally stopped by a large oak and took a break. Then he heard a familiar voice.

"On your left."

Cap turned and smiled as he saw his good friend Sam Wilson, also wearing a sporting outfit and panting heavily.

"Hi Sam." Steve said shaking Falcon's hand. "Doing a little bit of exercise I see."

Sam just shook his head. "You're a beast Captain. I tried to catch up to you, but you must have made at least forty laps"

Steve grinned. "Forty two."

"Cheater." Sam mumbled and Steve chuckled.

"Anyway I see you're back from your mission in Italy. How was that?" Cap asked politely.

"Well apart from the nasty little Hydra base near Rome and a scar on my butt, nothing special. Details about Italian women I intend to keep to myself." Sam said with a grin on his face.

They both laughed and then Falcon got a call on his cell phone, which he handed to Steve after a few minutes.

"Cap, it's Fury." Steve nodded and took the phone.

"Yes, sir?" he said.

_"Captain Rogers, I've got a new assignment for you."_ Fury stated.

"But sir, I was told I could take the rest of the month off..." Steve frowned.

_"I know Captain, however you are one of my best agents and this particular mission requires the attention of Captain America. We will discuss details later." _

"Okay, sir. What should I do?"

_"Suit up and be ready to leave NYC in two hours. Don't take your shield, it will be provided separately so you won't draw more attention than is necessary. I'll send agent Carter to pick you up. And Captain?"_

"Yes, sir?"

_"Take Agent Romanoff with you. You'll need an assistance."_

Steve rolled his eyes. Great. Sharon and Natasha _loathed_ each other and having them both in a confined space sounded like a suicide. Steve was the only one who could stop them from killing each other on sight.

"On my way, sir." Steve said and Fury ended the call.

"You still don't carry a phone around, do you?" Sam asked curiously, as Steve gave his phone back.

"Nope. I guess old habits die hard." Steve shrugged his shoulders. "Back in 1945 I didn't have a phone."

Sam just smiled. He kept forgetting that Cap was 95 years old and while the neo-nazis didn't scared him at all – modern technology certainly did.

"Another mission, huh? Isn't that like the third one in this month?"

"It is. Honestly I was hoping for a little break recently. Been working almost non-stop." Cap sighed. "And yes super-soldiers can get tired."

"Well I hope it's gonna be interesting." Sam said.

"It sure will. Natasha comes with me." Steve replied and blushed a little. He has been on a few missions with her before, but now, after she comforted him he felt vulnerable and exposed.

"Oh, I see. Well, don't screw it." Sam said smirking at his friend. "And I'm not talking about the mission now. "

He winked at Steve, who blushed even further.

"She's just a friend." Cap mumbled.

"Oh yeah, keep telling that to yourself. Anyway are you finished with running for today? I want to know if I have any chance to beat you."

"Yes. I need to get prepared for my mission." Steve nodded and exhaled deeply. "As for you I would exercise more if you like to make more than 10 laps."

"Show-off." muttered Sam with a grin on his face and shook his friends hand. "Good luck, Cap."

"Thanks Sam."

* * *

Steve returned to the Avengers Tower and packed his clothes and personal items. Then he went to Natasha's room and found her lying on the sofa and reading a book he recommended her earlier.

"Hi Steve." She greeted him without raising her eyes from the text.

"Fury wants us at the helicarrier in an hour. We've got a new mission." Steve said. "Pack your things, we'll be leaving soon."

She sighed and closed the book. "So much for the free time."

"I know, Fury promised we will get a month off but he called me while I was on my morning run and told me to come with you. I guess it's rather important mission if he's sending us _both_ there. I'm sorry." Steve gave her an apologetic smile.

She nodded and began to pack her clothes and weapons. Steve returned to his room and walked into the shower. He used to take cold showers back in the army in order to toughen up but now he could not stand it. The reason for that was _probably_ that he spend 70 years in ice and had enough cold forever.

After he finished washing his body, he brushed his teeth and combed his hair making a perfect 40s style parting. Whistling, he wrapped a towel around his waist, opened the door to the bathroom… and almost jumped out of his skin. The towel fell of course on the ground to Steve's embarrassment.

Behind the door stood Natasha, grinning, with one hand holding a bag and another one on her hip.

"Oh uh, it's you Natasha…" Steve said, blushing heavily and quickly grabbing his trousers. "I see uh, you're ready to go."

"I am Rogers. I'm gonna wait at the helipad. See you in a minute."

Steve nodded and Natasha strutted out of his room.

"_What was that? Why does she tease me?" _Steve thought to himself as he was dressing up. His outfit comprised of black skinny jeans, plain white t-shirt, leather jacket and sporty shoes. He felt stupid in those _modern _clothes but he preferred them over Tony's comments that he dresses like a grandpa.

"_Captain Rogers, agent Carter will be at the Tower in five minutes."_ JARVIS spoke up.

"Thanks for the tip, JARVIS" Steve replied and grabbed his bags. Now he had to ensure that Natasha and Sharon won't claw each other eyes out on their way to the helicarrier.

* * *

Just as Steve joined Natasha on the 77th floor of the Avengers Tower, agent Carter arrived at the helipad in S.H.I.E.L.D. quinjet.

"Hi Steve." She said smiling at him.

"Hi Sharon. How are you?" Steve asked politely putting his and Natasha's luggage in a locker.

"Oh great. Not every day you have a chance to escort Captain America in your own quinjet." She said with a suggestive smirk. Then her expression changed to hateful one, as she saw the redhead spy entering the vehicle.

"Shut it, Carter. It's not a date." Natasha snarled at her, making sure to brush against Steve's chest as she was passing by. He coloured a little.

"Oh, It's you." Sharon said grudgingly.

Steve exhaled deeply. _Here we go again_.

"Natasha, Sharon please don't kill each other or otherwise I will have to explain myself to Fury." Steve said in a perplexed tone.

"I'll try Cap." Sharon replied and began to fire the engines of the quinjet. Soon the machine rised into the sky and flew out of the NYC.

Natasha still glared at her. _"This bitch. She likes him only for his looks, that's pathetic. There is so much more to him than just…"_

"Natasha, you okay?" Steve asked with his baby blue eyes concerned.

She just nodded and looked outside the small window of the quinjet. She has just realized that she felt _jealous_ of Steve Rogers and it enraged her.

_"I'm so screwed right now" _She thought to herself, trying not to look at him.

…

"Agent Romanoff. Captain." Fury nodded, as redhead spy and super soldier entered his office. "Once again I must apologize for interrupting your vacation but I trust you are the only agents who will handle this mission properly."

"What do we have to do, sir?" Steve asked simply and to the point.

Fury tossed a folder on the table in front of him and Natasha quickly grabbed it and began to read.

"We have intel on a high-ranking Spanish official who happens to be a Hydra agent." Replied Fury. "He is particularly troublesome as he is responsible for smuggling weapons and other Hydra members to Argentina."

Steve let out a quiet sigh. There was a time when he thought that Hydra was destroyed once and for all when he sank Schmidt's plane into the waters of the Arctic. And then, after being recruited by S.H.I.E.L.D. he learned that not only Hydra existed but also it managed to infiltrate most of the countries and still posed a significant threat to international peace.

"Aarón Ignacio Alcala? Didn't he participated in last winter election?" Natasha asked.

"He did. Fortunately he didn't get the president's seat or it would be a disaster." Fury replied. "I would like you to find him in Barcelona and make sure he will not pose any more problems."

Steve scowled, as he was disgusted by killing. He opened his mouth but Fury interrupted immediately:

"I know Cap, you are not fond of killing, but this man has innocent blood on his hands. He must be eliminated."

Steve nodded in agreement. What other choice did he have?

"Very well. You will go there by ordinary plane. We don't want to draw excess attention. The same goes for your shield Cap, it will be provided for you separately, and for your weapons Romanoff. Here are your tickets."

Fury tossed Steve an envelope with two tickets. Second class.

"Additional information is in the folder. You are dismissed." Fury said and opened the door of his office, showing them that they should be going.

Steve and Natasha left the helicarrier and went directly to the airport. As they were driven there by an unknown S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, the redhead spy smirked at Steve.

"Looks like we're back in business."

"Can't say I like it." Steve replied looking outside his window.

"Don't say that or I will think that you don't like going on missions with me." Natasha joked.

"It's not that." Steve sighed. "I died once fighting Hydra and lost 70 years of my life. I don't want that to happen again."

"It's okay Steve, we can take care of ourselves."

"No doubt. Still I have a bad feeling about this…"

* * *

The plane took off at 2.00 PM. Steve and Natasha were sitting at the back of the plane posing as a newly married couple. Cap felt nervous about it and he had a fair reason to be – Natasha intimidated him with her wit, intellect, humour, confidence, beauty… He could go on all day about it, not to mention the fact that he was just _terrible_ at pretending someone he wasn't. Honesty was in his blood and this all undercover spying thing was simply uncomfortable. However Fury didn't mind that at all and kept sending Steve on various missions anyway.

Steve looked at the spy, peacefully sleeping with her head on his shoulder. He sighed and took out a sketchbook and started to draw the magnificent landscape outside the window.

* * *

The flight was peaceful without any turbulence and they landed safely seven hours later at Aeroporto Nacional de Barcelona, located in a small municipality El Prat de Llobregat.

"Natasha wake up. We're here." Steve gently shook redhead spy, who was sleeping for past three hours.

She opened her eyes and yawned. Steve stood up and took out their bags from overhead compartment. They disembarked the aircraft and headed for the luggage claim.

"I was wondering how did you manage to hide your knives and all those pointy things I wouldn't like to see up close?" Steve asked with curiosity.

She chuckled quietly. "My knives are made out of undetectable hyper-resistant alloy and thanks to Stark and a little hacking device my check-out goes smoothly."

Steve scratched his head. "I guess my shield wouldn't be that easy to smuggle, huh?"

"That's why your precious frisbee is already waiting for you in the hotel." Natasha smiled. "Clint saw to that while going on a mission in Bulgaria."

"Hey I like that frisbee." Steve said with feigned offence in his voice.

They waited for a few minutes until Steve finally spotted Natasha's luggage. She wanted to take it but he was faster.

"You don't have to be a gentleman around me Rogers, you know that." She said with a slightly irritated but also amused expression.

"But I will." Steve simply replied and smiled shyly.

She rolled her eyes and strutted towards the exit with a super-soldier by her side.

* * *

The airport was quite far from the centre of Barcelona so they took a taxi. One hour later they finally arrived at their hotel – San Domingo – which was tucked between an old tenement building and a little bookstore.

Natasha checked-in and took care of formalities as she spoke Spanish fluently. Now, the hotel staff would know them as Mr and Ms Robbins and officially they were here for sightseeing which was actually nothing special at all and that was just what a spy and super-soldier needed to remain unnoticed.

Steve took all of their luggage upstairs, to the apartment number 11. It was quite spacious with a separate bedroom, a living room connected with well-supplied kitchen, little bathroom with shower and a balcony. There were also a radio and TV as well as large blue sofa. The walls were painted peach orange and decorated with pictures of local monuments.

"It's much better than I thought." Natasha said, looking around. "I think Fury thought about newly married couple is it right Mr Robbins?"

"It is. Maybe we can actually go sightseeing." Steve said looking out of the window at illuminated Sagrada Familia in the distance. They were on the third floor and the church could be seen from their little apartment with ease.

"You don't like undercover missions, do you?" Natasha asked tossing her bags in the bedroom.

"Not really. I don't fancy pretending someone else." He said. "Plus I have a bad feeling about this mission."

"Everything is gonna be fine Steve." She replied and then smirked. "Don't you worry, I'm looking after you."

He smiled back at her and began to unpack.

"Oh and by the way I'm going for that king-sized bed over there." She said pointing the bedroom.

Steve shrugged his shoulders. "That's alright. I'll take the sofa then."

"The bed is large enough for us both Steve." Natasha said not looking at him.

"I think I must insist." Steve replied, blushing heavily.

"Always the gentleman, huh?" redhead spy grinned. "Well suit yourself, Rogers. If you need me, you know where to look."

She was amused to see him blushing even more than it was possible. Gosh she just _loved _making him uncomfortable.

"In that case I'm gonna take a shower." she said and headed to bathroom.

* * *

Later that night Steve was awoken by a quiet sounds of sobbing. As a soldier he was able to fall asleep quickly but that was usually a light sleep and he could wake up in a seconds.

_Natasha was crying._

His mind raced so quickly that he almost forgot where he is. She _never _cried, at least not in his presence. Steve perceived her as strong, independent, brave woman and knew that she wasn't easily taken over by emotions. Frankly he thought it was impossible, thanks to The Red Room.

He looked at his watch lying on the table and realized it was 3.37 AM. It was still dark outside and he was just standing there, not knowing what to do. She always rejected emotions, especially if it made her look vulnerable or weak; he didn't know whether he should check up on her or not.

Steve stood up and walked to the kitchen table, poured a glass of cold water and went to Natasha's room. He quietly knocked on the door.

"Are you okay?"

The sobbing stopped. Silence.

"Natasha, is everything alright?"

Silence again. He sighed and scratched his head. He should leave her alone, he knew that. The silence _was_ a signal for him to go back to bed. But he wasn't going to comply.

"Natasha, I'm coming in." he said and quietly entered her room.

She was lying on bed, curled up, her fiery red hair tangled from sleep, shimmering in the moonlight coming from the window. He approached her and put the glass of water on the nightstand. He sat beside her just as she did once, and asked gently:

"You want to talk about it?"

She shook her head, not looking in his direction. God she _hated _herself for letting Steve see her crying.

"Nightmares, am I right?" he asked with concern in his voice. It was the second time this week he found out that Natasha had nightmares. The red head spy didn't answer.

_"Well that should be rather obvious. After what she went through in the ranks of the Red Room…" _he thought to himself looking at her.

"There's water on the nightstand. If you need anything I'll be in the living room." Steve said and stood up. He was almost to the door when she called him back.

"Steve?"

"Yes?"

"Could you stay with me tonight?" she asked so quietly, that he was almost unable to made out what she meant.

"Of course." He said blushing a bit. Fortunately Natasha didn't see anything in the dark room.

He lay down beside her, keeping a tactful space between them. They lay there for almost an hour in silence when Natasha suddenly scooted over to him and snuggled next to him, taking Steve aback.

"It's okay Natasha." He whispered into her ear and stroke her hair. "I'm here."

* * *

**That's it for today Guys (or yesterday)! I intend to post my chapters once a week, so keep your eyes peeled for more. If you enjoyed my chapter leave a review, It's always welcome. See you next time, goodbye! WS**


	3. Blood and wine

**A/N: Holy moly I could NEVER expect to have so many favs and followers out there! You truly lifted my spirits with such positive response, **** I hope I can keep up to the challenge so here we go. This chapter has both action and fluff so brace yourselves!**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Marvel Cinematic Universe, etc.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 3: Blood and wine**

_Every time I see you something happens to me_  
_Like a chain reaction between you and me_

_My heart starts missing a beat_  
_My heart starts missing a beat_  
_Every time_  
_Oh oh oh, every time_

_\- Pet Shop Boys, "Heart"_

* * *

The next day Steve woke early as always, however this time with Natasha snuggled to his side. Soldier glanced at beautiful redhead and realized she had a peaceful expression on her face and was breathing steadily. Steve knew that she had no nightmares after his late-night visit.

He smiled and gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead. Then he quietly got up and went to the bathroom.

He washed his face with cold water and combed his tangled blonde hair. After that he changed into jeans, white t-shirt and trainers. Then he took his leather jacket and left the apartment, closing the door silently. He took the stairs to the ground floor.

Steve nodded at the receptionist at the desk and exited the lobby of the San Domingo Hotel, finding himself in an ordinary street with little traffic and few pedestrians. Barcelona was a_ huge _city just like NYC so he hoped he wouldn't get lost.

He put his blue cap and sunglasses on and began his hunt for breakfast supplies.

* * *

After ten minutes of looking around, he found a small bakery as well as grocery store. He bought fresh bread, eggs, vegetables, spices and a few other special ingredients, paying with money provided by S.H.I.E.L.D.

On his way back to the hotel Steve stopped by a tourist information and equipped himself with a map of Barcelona (he still wasn't overly fond of using phone for getting around the city - especially those provided by Tony) and went back to the apartment.

* * *

When he returned to their room, Natasha was already awake, sitting in an armchair in the living room, looking outside the opened balcony door. She was dressed in sweatsuit pants and black tank top. Her fiery red hair were in a complete mess but that didn't bother Steve at all. In fact he preferred her in this outfit, relaxed and sleepy, more than in her combat suit. Relaxed Natasha meant less dead bodies.

"Oh, hello. I thought you were asleep." He said, closing the door.

"I couldn't sleep after you left." She simply said and smiled faintly. "Who would have guessed you would jump into my bed so _willingly_?"

Steve's face and neck coloured.

"You know, I did this because you had nightmares. I wouldn't… I wouldn't do anything inappropriate Natasha." He said in a slightly offended voice.

"Relax Rogers, I was just joking." She chuckled. "I must admit I had no bad dreams for the rest of the night."

Steve smiled. "Glad I could help ma'am."

She glared at him, as she hated being called "ma'am". It made her irritated for some strange reason.

"Okay, you win this round Rogers." She said with feigned offense in her voice.

Steve gave her a lopsided smile and began to make breakfast. First he prepared a pan which he used to fry slices of _jamon serrano_. Spanish people would probably kill him for such desecration of their delicacy, but Steve was eager to try something new. Then he took a bowl and separated yolks from whites. He added diced red pepper, grated local cheese with pungent aroma as well as a combination of various spices.

Steve poured the mixture onto the hot pan and soon a mouth-watering aroma filled the air.

"You know, you should really get Stark to pay you for those breakfasts back in the tower." Natasha said, sitting at the kitchen table.

"It's no big deal. I just like cooking, especially for someone else." Steve replied preparing toasts with garlic butter and oregano. "Bon appetit."

Redhead spy sampled Steve's omelette and it was _delicious_. She immediately took another bite and reached for the toasted bread.

Steve just smiled at her and quickly made another portion for himself and they both ate in a comfortable silence.

* * *

Having finished the breakfast Steve did the dishes and put his newly bought map of Barcelona on the kitchen table.

Then they both discussed possible locations in which they could find Hydra agent Aarón Ignacio Alcala using information from the S.H.I.E.L.D.'s folder and their own ideas and assumptions, which in this case were mainly Natasha's ones as she was far more experienced in spy-craft than the super-soldier.

* * *

**_Few days later_**

"Natasha I got him." said Steve to his wrist comlink, observing a good-looking and extremely well-dressed man in his late 40s. "I'm sending you the coordinates."

"Copy that. Don't lose him." Natasha responded and immediately headed for the location he sent her.

They both met at the same time, in a little café just on the other side of the street from an entrance to a luxurious residence on the outskirts of the Barcelona. There were guards dressed in black suits with sunglasses patrolling the perimeter, high walls with metal spikes and security cameras everywhere.

Steve and Natasha, pretending like they didn't know each other, went into the café and ordered coffee (Natasha opted for Carajillo while he went for ice coffee). They sat at separate tables, yet both were facing Alcala's residence.

Steve began to draw the residence in his sketchbook, while Natasha examined the entrance to the residence with help of dark sunglasses. The guards didn't pay attention to café clients so redhead spy had enough time to assess vital information.

After almost two hours Steve left for their apartment, while Natasha pretended she got a phone call which enabled her to stay a little longer at the café without raising any suspicion.

Finally after 20 more minutes she ended the "conversation" and went back to the hotel.

* * *

"Well I must congratulate you Rogers." Natasha said changing into black, sporty leggings and red tight t-shirt with a white star on it. If somebody was to ask Steve about it he would say it was _almost _too tight.

"On what?" Steve asked quizzically as he was concentrating on _something_ else at the moment.

"Congrats Cap on not blowing your cover back at the café. I'm impressed." Natasha smirked being completely aware of the fact that she distracted Captain America. Somehow she felt much better with that knowledge.

"O-Oh that." Steve realized that as well an quickly refocused on their conversation. "Oh yeah, I'm picking a thing or two while working with you."

"I hope spying isn't the only thing you're gonna pick up from me." She said with a suggestive grin.

Steve blushed uncontrollably, which caused the redhead spy to break into laughter. Gosh she just _adored_ making him comfortable.

"You know that I don't..." he began but was immediately interrupted by amused Natasha.

"Always a gentleman. Always so strict." She smiled. "Relax Steve, I'm not gonna eat you..."

_"...but I would very much like to." _she finished in her mind.

Steve looked at her with vague expression on his face. _"Why does she always sound like she's proposing me something inappropriate and threatens me at the same time?"_ Steve thought to himself. _"That's just wrong."_

"Let's just... Finish work for today, shall we? How do you think we should get into the residence?" Steve awkwardly changed the subject, but Natasha seemed to be satisfied with making him uncomfortable for today, so she didn't mind.

They leaned over the map of city and started to hatch a plan of silent elimination of Hydra lieutenant.

* * *

_**1.47 am, outskirts of Barcelona**_

Steve quickened his pace and began to run full-speed towards the wall of Alcala's residence. He was wearing his Captain America suit, this time however black and navy-blue without regular white star on his chest – in order to avoid excess suspicion. The shield on his back was also painted dull black so it wouldn't reflect the light of the streetlights.

Steve focused his strength and took an unbelievable leap over four metres high wall landing silently on the other side.

He quickly scanned the area and immediately spotted multiple guards as well as a bunch of security cameras.

"I'm in." he whispered into the wrist comlink and Natasha responded instantly:

"Copy that. Take care of the guards outside and deactivate the cameras."

"Understood."

* * *

An agile shadow moved swiftly between the guards, taking down all of them in a matter of seconds, before they could even realize that someone has breached their defenses.

With the last guard outside the residence falling to the ground after being hit with the shield, Cap checked if the cameras noticed anything, but it seemed that his actions remained undetected so he paid a visit to the security booth. Soon the video surveillance was inactive and that was a signal for Natasha.

Steve smiled to himself. He was _almost_ sorry for the Hydra thugs inside the building.

* * *

Natasha stealthily slipped into the residence through the back entrance and almost instantly came across a guard, fully equipped and holding H&K UMP. She took him out with ease, using her favourite combat knife with short, wide blade.

Having picked up the gun she attached a multi-purpose silencer (designed by Tony Stark so it made almost no sound, unlike regular silencers), and began to eliminate all the other thugs with single, precise shots. Bodies fell to the ground one after another.

Unfortunately for them, their skills were no equal to Black Widow's lethal abilities.

She reloaded the gun and headed for the bedroom of Hydra boss, stepping over corpses with a sinister grin on her face.

* * *

"You're waiting for someone?" sudden voice behind Steve's back made him almost jump out of his skin.

"Jesus, Natasha." he exhaled deeply, seeing the redhead spy smiling cockily at him. "Don't do that again, please."

"As you wish _Captain_." she chuckled.

"Alcala's down?" Steve asked, returning to scanning area for any possible threats.

"Of course. Let's get out of here." Natasha replied and they both headed for the wall which Steve breached earlier that night – going through the main exit could still be dangerous, plus they wanted to minimize the suspicion.

He boosted her up and Natasha jumped gracefully over the tall obstacle. Cap followed her right away and they vanished into the night, leaving Hydra with yet another important agent down.

* * *

After they changed their clothes, Steve and Natasha went back to the San Domingo Hotel. Staff was a little bit surprised why they returned to the hotel at such late hour but Natasha made up a believable story, which for some reason made Steve _really_ uncomfortable. The receptionist just gave her a jealous look and wished them goodnight.

"I must tell Fury that if I am to kill somebody every time I go on a mission he will need to find someone else to do the job." Steve said, when he closed the door to their apartment.

Natasha rolled her eyes. "I think you're missing a point here Rogers. This is _Hydra_ for fucks sake. These are merciless, cruel people who intend to cause world-wide chaos. Not to mention the fact that you should be the first one to get revenge on those bastards."

"Still..." he opened his mouth but Natasha continued:

"No, Steve. Alcala was no different. He smuggled weapons to Argentina and I am not talking about regular guns, but some crazy shit. What's more he helped dozens of Hydra agents to get to safety so they could lay low and strike again. This man had blood on his hands." Natasha replied in an exasperated voice.

Steve looked unconvinced but then realized that his moral compass sometimes blinded his judgement. After all, thanks to Hydra, he lost 70 years of his life, including Peggy Carter, dr Erskine and his friends. He shouldn't hesitate to finish what he started so _long _ago.

"Maybe you're right Natasha." he said. "I guess such thinking is stronger than me."

"And it is good that way Steve." redhead spy said in a serious tone. "This is what makes you different from those... monsters."

Steve looked at her with thankful smile. For some reason Natasha Romanoff perfectly understood what kind of storm was breaking within soldier's heart.

* * *

They slept for almost 10 hours, tired after their night escapade.

Steve woke up in the armchair in Natasha's bedroom (she said they could share the bed but Steve insisted on keeping things professional) when he heard her speaking with someone on the phone.

He got up and went to the living room to investigate.

"Yes, sir. Thank you." She ended the call just as he entered the room.

"Morning Steve." Natasha said smiling. She was wearing black bathrobe and her hair were in Steve's favourite style – a fiery tangled mess.

"_My God, why does she look so beautiful."_ Steve thought to himself.

"Something happened?" Steve asked. "I heard you've been talking with someone on the phone."

"Quite the opposite. Fury has just called me and said that Clint will pick us up on his way back to NYC." redhead spy replied. "He will be here in 20 hours, so we've got some free time for ourselves."

"I guess Fury felt slightly less guilty offering us a one-day holiday in exchange for constant working, didn't he?" Steve asked with a grin.

"I think you could put it that way." She said smirking. "So… what would you like to do?"

Steve looked outside the balcony door. "Honestly, I'd love to do some sightseeing. Starting with Sagrada Família."

"Actually that's not a bad idea, Cap." She replied. "Let's do it."

Steve gave her a wide smile and started preparing breakfast. At the same time Natasha watched his back as he was bustling around the kitchen. He was so _perfect _ with his human-peak muscular body, blue eyes, blonde hair, honest smile, outstanding cooking skills (she couldn't imagine what he could come up with when he would be preparing dinner) and pure heart… She could go all day about it.

"_Stop it Romanoff, he's not your date…" _Natasha thought to herself.

While she was lost in her train of thought Steve finished preparing the breakfast and soon they were eating oatmeal with blueberries, banana slices, nuts and cinnamon, just as delicious as redhead spy expected.

"…_for now." _She grinned under her nose.

* * *

Steve and Natasha spent almost whole day wandering around Barcelona and delving into the Spanish culture. Their lives were always complex, they always had to fight and that is why they enjoyed their little tour so much – they felt like two normal, _ordinary_ people, doing something so mundane as simple walk in the city without need of fighting any evil organizations, crazy geniuses or aliens.

Just as Steve suggested, their first stop was Sagrada Família, world-wide famous modernistic church designed by Spanish architect Antoni Gaudí. Both the soldier and redhead spy were impressed by the marvelous structure.

Natasha, not being overly religious, left Steve alone for some time he could prey for Peggy and his friends. She understood that his traditional upbringing had an significant impact on his morality and way of thinking and she knew he needed to think things through.

After a dozen or so minutes Steve rejoined her, smiling, and they visited another well-known city's landmarks and that were Casa Batlló and Casa Mila – tenement houses rebuild in Art Nouveau style by Gaudí as well. In comparison to NYC's crude and simple skyscrapers these buildings were superb examples of architecture.

In the afternoon, they headed for Park Güell where they would walk the verdant alleys and talk for a long time about ordinary things, other than Hydra, their missions and usual work gossip.

None of them seemed to be bothered by the fact that they were holding hands the entire time.

* * *

After whole day of sightseeing Steve and Natasha returned to the hotel, where day decided they should celebrate their last evening in Barcelona with a fancy dinner. They both took a shower and prepared themselves to eat out.

Steve, dressed in black suit and navy-blue shirt with first few buttons undone, was looking at his watch and realized that Clint will arrive in five hours, which was _definitely_ enough time for them to enjoy a _romantic_ _dinner_.

"_What am I thinking? She's just a friend, Rogers…" _

Then the doors to Natasha's bedroom opened and Steve's heart skipped a few beats.

Natasha was dressed in a plain black silk dress with red flowery details here and there, perfectly accentuating the attractive curves of her body. Her straight, fiery hair was shoulder-length and toned in her outfit just as the dark-red lipstick and light make-up, which highlighted her emerald eyes. She also had black high-heels and small handbag, which surely contained a gun or some other dangerous pieces of equipment.

Even though the outfit was simple it excelled at drawing Steve's attention. He stood there not being able to turn his gaze back. _"She's an angel…"_

"Considering you have almost devoured me with your eyes a moment ago I'll take it as a compliment." Natasha said with an amused expression.

Steve blushed so heavily, that he almost matched the colour of her lipstick and his only response was a wide dorky smile, Natasha just _loved_.

"C'mon Captain or you'll be standing here forever." She grabbed his hand and walked him out of the apartment, still not being able to produce any sounds.

* * *

"Stop staring at me Steve" Natasha said with amused expression on her face.

"Oh, sorry. I got lost... in thought." Steve shook his head with apologetic smile.

"I can tell" she said smirking at him, when the waiter approached their table.

"May I take your order Madame?" waiter asked Natasha, who smiled back at him.

While Natasha was asking the waiter for recommendations and was picking the perfect wine for her medium-rare, Steve's thoughts raced with a speed of light and perhaps even faster.

_"Why does she tempt me so much?"_ Steve wondered. _"I must stop this before..."_

Before what? Telling Natasha what he feels about her? How he had no nightmares after her brief visit during the day of the exhibition? Steve Rogers had been an honest man all his life, pure-hearted and had strong moral rules that he would always follow. He knew that to be true, that was the reason dr Erskine chose Steve for the project "Rebirth".

If Steve was a cruel and deceitful man Erskine would have probably created second Redskull. Or maybe someone even worse, considering the fact that the serum which was used on Steve was more powerful than the one which Schmidt was injected with.

The wondrous serum allowed Steve to achieve peak human strength, agility and reflexes but also enhanced his character traits. Steve Rogers was undeniably honest... But not to himself.

He had known this for a _long_ time now, especially when looking at such irrestible person as Natasha.

Ironic. Captain America fought in the greatest human conflict ever to happen and was less scared to fight nazis then to tell Natasha that he has grown fond of her and that she was constantly on his mind.

This not-so-secret-yet-meant-to-be-undercover mission wasn't helpful at all. He was finally with her, _one on one_, they shared the same bedroom, even though Natasha slept in bed and he opted for armchair.

Steve Rogers wasn't capable of being honest with himself and admitting out loud that he... Well he knew what he felt towards the redhead spy. He knew that very well.

_"My god, why this has to be so complicated?" _he asked himself.

"May I take your order, sir?" waiter asked turning into Steve's direction, who quickly refocused on the reality around him and replied almost instantly.

"I'll have gazpacho and maybe... paella con marisco." Steve said smiling at surprised Natasha.

"Of course, sir." waiter took the menus and headed for the kitchen, skillfully maneuvering between the tables of other guests.

"It's hard to admit, but I didn't expect you to have such strong taste in Spanish cuisine." Natasha said. "I thought you didn't like seafood."

"I don't. But it's a big part of local culture, so why not? Besides I am keen on exploring new things." Steve replied. "Back in the army I had a friend from Spain. He wasn't a member of the Howling Commandos but still, I valued his friendship… Once he said that I should visit his country after the war and try their cuisine... So here I am!"

"What happened to him?" Natasha asked, curiously. She thought she knew everything about Steve from his file and their 5-year acquaintanceship but such little details only proved there was much more to the super-soldier than met the eye.

"He lost his life in an explosion, saving mine." Steve said with his face showing no emotions. "The blast from didn't leave much. He had no proper burial."

Natasha sighed. Steve fought the worst, most inhuman conflict ever and even though the nazis lost it, he himself lost even more. Friends. Family. His brother Bucky. Even dr Erskine and colonel. And Peggy Carter of course. Natasha felt sorry for him, again realizing how much he suffered.

"He chose your life, so you could end the war Steve. And you did it. Stopping Schmidt was an unbelievable feat, which no one but you could achieve." she said reaching for his hand. "Don't blame yourself."

Steve's hand twitched. He looked at her hand holding his and realized that he didn't want to let go. He just wanted to be here and now with the redhead spy, forever.

He wanted so _badly_ to say these few simple words, yet he was only able to nod his head.

"Thank you. You're right Natasha." He replied and smiled.

Soon their meal arrived, exceeding Steve's expectation with the simplicity and taste.

"I definitely need to adopt some Spanish recipes into my repertoire." Soldier said.

"That means that you will cook for me even more than now? You know I kinda got used to those breakfasts." Natasha said cutting her steak.

"Well it depends how often will Fury send me on a mission with you…" Steve said and reached for his glass with fine red dry wine. "Here's to you."

"Vice versa, Steve." Natasha said giving him a wide smile.

* * *

They returned late at night to their apartment

They returned to the hotel at late hour, having spent a wonderful evening talking about everything they could, unplugging from their secret world-saving heroes' lives which they were sometimes _really_ sick of.

It was about 2.24 am when they finally reached the door to their apartment and that was when Steve's predictions about the mission – which he almost forgot about – turned out to be correct.

* * *

_Steve uses small silver key with number 11 on its tag, to open the door. He turns on the light and Natasha follows him into the apartment. Then he spots an odd small square-shaped package on the kitchen table. He doesn't remember any packages lying around before they left. _

_Then he sees something which chills the blood in his veins. Suddenly time slows down and seconds become an eternity when Steve forces confused Natasha out of the room, away from the suspicious package with strange wires here and there and one, ominously flickering red diode. The flickering accelerates and suddenly stops for a nanosecond, just as the soldier manages to get the redhead spy out of the apartment. _

_The world around Steve is abruptly being enshrouded with flames of the powerful explosion. The darkness takes hold of him and he has a feeling of falling down, with Natasha's screaming his name. Everything goes black and his mind shuts down._

* * *

**A/N: This chapter had both action and some fluff and I intended to create a cliff-hanger, especially because next week I have lots of exams and I won't be able to write regularly. So I'd like to say sorry for this upcoming delay and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. S****ee you **_**hopefully **_**next time. Goodbye! WS**


	4. A voice from the past

**A/N: Hello again! I'm sorry for the delay, this week was extremely tiresome (exams), but I've got some free time now and I'm back with you Guys. Before we start I'd like to give many thanks to all those who followed (I mean seriously, 13 follows? That's fantastic!) and faved (also impressive).**

**I'm so thrilled that someone out there, in the fictionverse, actually reads my stories and enjoys them.**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Marvel Cinematic Universe, etc.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 4: Voice from the past**

_"You're gone gone gone away  
I watch you disappear  
All that's left is a ghost of you…  
Now we're torn torn torn apart  
There's nothing we can do  
Just let me go, we'll meet again soon..."_

_\- Of Monsters and Man, "Little Talks" _

* * *

_20 hours earlier  
_  
The rogue S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, captured by Clint Barton and Bobbi Morse, was laying in the passengers area, bound with titanium handcuffs and put into unconscious state by an extremely powerful sedative, invention of Bruce Banner, who would use it on himself when turning into Hulk was unavoidable and possibly dangerous for the surroundings.

Clint smiled to himself. He snatched one dose of the sedative from doc's lab, just to test it. Doctor of course wasn't aware of that, but in Hawkeye's opinion, he would be more than glad to see what are the effects of his concoction on people unaffected by gamma radiation.

After an injection, Bruce would just stop becoming green and be drowsy for a few minutes and in consequence stay in his human form. However in case of a normal person – without the always-angry Hulk inside – the sedative worked like receiving a blow to the head with a bag of bricks.

_"Agent Morse, Agent Barton can you hear me?"_ Fury's voice came out of the comlink.

"Yes, sir." they said collectively.

_"Very well. You have a new objective to complete and that will be picking up Captain Rogers and Agent Romanoff from a secluded location outside Barcelona. Understood?"_

"Yes, sir." said Bobbi, while Clint changed the settings on navigation computer. He changed the destination from triskelion HQ NYC to Barcelona, Spain.

_"Agent Romanoff will send you detailed coordinates. Report back when you pick them up." Fury said. "Make this quick and do not attract excessive attention. You know the drill."_

* * *

Natasha Romanoff and Clint Barton stood by Steve's bed in medical bay of the Avengers Tower, a workplace and private laboratory of Bruce Banner where even Tony wasn't always given access to.

The "Avengers hospital" or simply "hospital" as they called, was located on minus 4th floor of the Avengers Tower and was a large square room with dozen medical beds, each one of them equipped with essential devices and medicine cabinets, all of which provided invaluable support for them in times of need.

Bruce would carry out his research on medications and gamma radiation here as well as perform surgeries such as the one he did on Steve, almost three weeks earlier after he has been hit by the shock wave and shards from the bomb planted in his and Natasha's apartment.

As for the other guests Thor paid a short visit to Steve before he went back to Asgard in order to deal with new conflict among Nine Realms, (something concerning demons of Vanaheim), while Tony, Pepper Pots, Phil Coulson, Bobbi Morse and few other S.H.I.E.L.D. agents visited the soldier in the morning.

The only visitors Steve had at the moment and that was already evening, were Natasha and Hawkeye, both looking anxiously at still body of the super-soldier, their friend and leader. Bruce was working on a computer several meters away, carrying on some intricate analysis and tests on Steve's blood.

"It has been 3 weeks since the accident. How much will it take for him to wake up?" Natasha inquired not knowing which time she asked the same question, raising her voice so Bruce could hear her.

Doc removed his glasses, pinched the bridge of his nose and rubbed his eyes. "As I said his organism is still healing from the blast impact. I removed the shards from his body but it will take at least three of four days more for Steve to wake up." Bruce replied. "Then of course, rehabilitation will be essential."

Natasha and Clint looked at him with surprise. Bruce didn't mention _that_ before.

"Steve was extremely lucky to have survived the explosion, even with his serum-enhanced body. The one who planted the bomb couldn't be an ordinary Hydra agent." Doctor explained rubbing his short black-grey beard. "The only thing we can do right now is to wait."

"I fucking hate waiting." murmured Natasha and Clint looked at her with intrigued smile. He knew that redhead spy developed some kind of feelings for Steve in recent times and that certainly couldn't be labelled as simple friendship.

Clint's codename not only referred to his unprecedented shooting skills but also to his ability to make watchful observations. In the past most of his mission didn't even require a bow and arrows. Lay low, undetected. Scan the area. Watch the enemy. Find its weak spot, _than _strike.

And now his old habit proved useful once again as his observations during last few visits with Natasha in the hospital confirmed his suspicions that something happened between those two back on their mission in Spain.

If somebody was to ask him, Clint considered himself to be Natasha's older brother and surprisingly she accepted that without protesting. Their friendship was unequal and Hawkeye would do _everything_ to protect. It was unbelievable that S.H.I.E.L.D. agent sent to eliminate infamous Black Widow, spared her life and actually became _friends _with her.

Clint glanced at her. The redhead spy looked deeply concerned and bit her lower lip.

_"She rarely shows such emotions. Something's gotta be going on between those two." _he thought to himself as he wrapped his hand around Natasha. She silently hugged him back, still looking at motionless Steve. "He's gonna be alright Nat. He's tough, he'll make it. You know that."

"I do. Yet still I am worried about him." Natasha mumbled.

"Which kinda makes me jealous, now that I think of it. If I was lying there in bed, you would probably say something like _'you didn't see that coming?'_, huh?" Clint joked and his smile grew wider as he saw Natasha giving him a half-smile.

"C'mon Nat, our sleeping beauty needs rest so how about I take you to the city for a fancy dinner?"  
Natasha nodded her head SLIGHTLY, but before she went to the exit she approached Steve's bed and gave him a gentle kiss on the forehead, whispering something in Russian only he could hear. At least she hoped he did.

Natasha came back to Clint, who was smirking at her.

"I knew it." he said in an triumphant tone.

"You think too much Hawkeye." Natasha replied in a sinister tone, a sarcastic smirk appearing on her face immediately. "Oh, and the sushi comes from your pay."

"Who said I want to eat sushi?" Clint asked with a surprise in his voice.

"I did." Natasha said, strutting towards the elevator.

Clint looked after her, yet again amazed by her ability to bury her emotions deep so _swiftly_.

"You're just showing off, Romanoff." he said, as Bruce gave him an amused smile.

"Try me, Barton."

* * *

_Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.  
_  
Silent, steady, systematic beeping of the cardiac monitor showed his heartrate, much higher than average one, thanks to his serum-enhanced cardiovascular system. Steve's cellular metabolism was four times faster than regular one and thus it made him faster, stronger, more agile and pain-resistant. In exchange, however, his body required much, much more energy and had to be replenished regularly.

And so Cap lay on the hospital bed, connected to multiple highly-advanced medical devices, which provided his organism with vital nutrients and vitamins as well as monitored his body's parameters.

Fortunately Bruce Banner had access to his medical files, even the ones made all the way back in the 1940s by dr Erskine and was able to study the serum Cap was injected with. How did he acquired the documents was a mystery to everyone but Nick Fury of course. And the director of S.H.I.E.L.D. was not keen on sharing this knowledge with anyone except for Bruce, the only avenger who had medical education.

However Steve was currently in comatose-like state; he wasn't awake but wasn't completely unconscious either. He couldn't move or speak, but he had vague memories of someone sitting beside his bed and talking for hours and when he would finally fall asleep, he had nightmares – almost every night.

All of those terrible dreams always led to him holding Natasha's lifeless body in his arms. He screamed in his mind yet was unable to do so aloud. Helplessness was even worse than the fact that he _almost_ lost her and had to face it every time he closed his eyes.

During his long, lonely nights Steve Rogers would experience both extreme physical pain (he burned off the painkillers extremely fast and their effect would wear of in a matter of minutes - in such moments he hated his serum-enhanced body) as well as mental one which was even worse.

And for latter there was only one reason…

* * *

"So munchkin, tell me what's this all about with you and Steve." said Barton smirking at Natasha. "You behave differently ever since you got back from your mission."

"Don't call me that if you want to keep all of your fingers intact, Barton." she growled. "He's my friend."

"Oh, I see. Best one probably?" asked Clint ironically.

"Yeah, I guess so." redhead spy replied, taking a sip of green tea.

"Well now I must say I'm offended." archer frowned. "America's golden boy took my place as..."

He didn't finish the sentence as he saw dangerous sparkles in Natasha's eyes. This was the signal he _almost_ crossed the line. Clint was pretty sure she would not only cut his fingers off but a few other things if he wouldn't stop joking.

"I'm just kidding, Nat. You know you can tell me everything." Clint said, his voice turning from sarcastic into serious one in a second, seeing that she wasn't in mood for jokes.

Redhead spy looked at him and gave him one of those _true_ smiles of her. Little, almost unnoticeable, half-smile that Hawkeye knew well yet saw so rarely.

"I know Clint. And for that I'm grateful." she said quietly, sipping her tea.

"Who is he to you?" archer asked gently.

"Partner. Companion. Friend. Very close one if I am to be honest." Natasha muttered.

Clint was the only one who she would tell about her emotions without fear, he was well aware of that. Their friendship was extremely strong, forged in the fire of countless battles, forgiveness and mutual understanding – they were both agents all their lives and knew how much pain in the ass it could be.

"I see. You grew pretty much fond of each other over the last five years." Clint said. "I've never seen you so relaxed around someone else than me."

"Well there's something in him. Something much more than a heap of muscles that bitch Carter only thinks about." she said clicking ominously with her chopsticks. "I fucking hate her."

Clint smirked with clear disbelief on his face. Natasha Romanoff was _jealous_. And she was jealous about _Steve._

He knew better than to laugh, especially because Natasha was armed with said chopsticks. Hawkeye knew very well she could murder Sharon with them in fourteen different ways.

"But those muscles _are_ an asset don't they?" Clint asked grinning.

She ignored his comment and continued. "Steve was weak and sickly before the serum. He had troublesome and harsh childhood. His father died in WWI conflict and Steve's mom Sarah worked herself to death, so her son could live a fairly normal live."

"He got his amazing cooking skills from her, actually." Natasha added quietly.

"I didn't know."

"Me neither. I thought I could say I knew him after those five years... After all, we fight side by side, we live in the same tower, we dine together and yet there are still so many details about his past that weren't in his file..." she said, shaking her head.

"And that is why he got under your skin." Clint smiled. "You like to know everything about people around you, don't you?"

"Oh, shut up Hawkeye." she replied, but finished in her mind: "_Yet you've got your point_…"

Archer just leaned back with a knowing grin.

"He was weak before serum. After the transformation he could finally go running, can you believe it? He was so happy when he told me he could run and didn't get asthma attack after three minutes." Natasha said. "I don't know, what's so alluring about him but I guess the fact that he knows the feeling of being weak, rejected and not capable taught him an invaluable lesson. This humility, HONESTY and kindness reminds me that I would like to be the same, one day... Though I have no idea if this is EVEN possible."

As she finished the sentence, Clint stood up and hugged her tight without a word.

Natasha, surprising even herself, didn't protest at all.

"It's gonna be okay. Those feelings you have prove that you are not a heartless monster the Red Room wanted you to be. There is nothing to be ashamed of Nat." archer whispered into her ear. "If this is the right man, maybe it is time for Black Widow to show some emotions."

She didn't answer but when they broke from the hug, she nodded her head slightly.

Clint gave her a warm smile and left money on the counter. "Let's go check on your crush then, munchkin."

"Oh, you're so screwed right now, Hawkeye." She said, while Clint jumped away, avoiding her kick in his butt.

* * *

Barton drove Natasha back to the Avengers Tower and dropped her off at the entrance. Fury called on their way back and Clint complaining like he always did, had to go back to S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters. Natasha looked after black Audi until it disappeared at the end of the street, now lit by the vibrant lights of the NYC cafes and clubs.

She turned towards the Tower and headed for the entrance.

She called the elevator and when it arrived the door opened and she saw Tony. He was in his working shirt, stained with oil and grease, his eyes red and tired. He must have been working hard in his lab.

"Hello little Red. You wanna see Stripes? I was about to pay him a LITTLE visit."

She nodded, not wanting to kill him on sight for calling her the way he did.

They descended in silence towards level -4 where medical bay of the Avengers Tower was located.

They entered the hospital and saw that Bruce was gone and Steve was _awake…_ doing push-ups. Natasha's smile slowly faded and was replaced by fiery anger. Before she knew what she was doing her voice raised and she started to shout.

"WHAT THE FUCK YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING ROGERS?!" she yelled at him so unexpectedly and loudly, that Tony jumped away from her and hit his toe on nearby table, cursing under his nose. "GET YOUR ASS BACK INTO THE BED YOU FUCKING IDIOT!"

Steve looked so bewildered that he just stopped there, not knowing what to do. Meanwhile Tony glanced on Natasha with fear in his eyes. "I guess uh… I'll leave you two uh… alone. Glad you're back Cap, we missed you."

Natasha was so surprised that Tony actually behaved _tactfully_ that she stopped screaming at Steve. Although she suspected that Stark, without his iron man suit, was just scared of the Black Widow inside her. She preferred the latter.

As Tony entered the elevator and disappeared, just as quickly as he got here, she turned towards Steve, her fists clenched and voice filled with cold fury. Steve could swear he heard a thunder yet Thor was far away from the Tower.

"I'm gonna ask this once again and you're going to answer me, Rogers. What do you think you're doing?" she asked, slowly pronouncing each syllable.

Steve smiled awkwardly. "Well I… uh got better, you see. I wanted to exercise a bit to get back in shape."

"I see only one thing – that you're a complete idiot, Rogers. Get back to bed." She said.

"Natasha please, listen to me…" he began but she cut him off.

"Now."

He quietened immediately and lay down, giving her an apologetic smile, while she stood there not knowing what she would tell him next. After a few minutes of silence she grabbed a chair and sat beside him, turning her emerald gaze onto the soldier. When she finally spoke, her voice was quiet and calm and Steve thought it was a good sign.

"Do you remember what happened?" she asked without faintest sign of anger in her voice.

"Well, partially. I remember that I forced you out of the room and then everything went black." He replied, rubbing his beard, which he didn't manage to shave yet.

"There was a bomb in our room. Someone planted it while we were at dinner. When we got back to the apartment it exploded, the blast sent you four meters into the air and you collapsed at the bottom of the stairs." She said with a grim expression.

"That must've hurt. Glad I don't recall that part." Steve mumbled, smiling awkwardly.

"I had to watch you almost die on my hands, Steve. You were so still, lifeless, blood everywhere." Natasha murmured. "Bruce says that the shards from the bomb almost killed you on spot and you were lucky that Fury sent Clint in a quinjet to pick us up."

"In this case I must thank them both, do you think…"

"No. You must rest. Bruce says that rehabilitation is also required. And I'm gonna make sure you follow your doctor's guidelines, Rogers." She said with a sinister grin.

Steve quietened and they sat there in silence for a long time.

"Why did you do it, Steve?" she muttered. "You could've got yourself killed… for me."

"I would do it for anyone on my team Natasha. I had a faint chance to survive the blast, but you had zero chances. I took the impact of the explosion and that's OK. I'm glad you're alright." He said simply.

"I was a murderer in the service of the Red Room. I have blood on my hands just as Alcala did. Maybe even worse. Why would you risk your life for someone so worthless like me?" she asked quietly, her eyes piercing through his soul.

Steve sat on his bed and took her tiny hands into his big, rough ones of a soldier. Her body flinched slightly, but she didn't took away her hands.

"Don't you _ever _say that Natasha. You made amends and did a great deal of good deeds. Your past with the Red Room has been erased and your ledger is clean once again. You should never think about yourself in a way they tried to make you to."

"What about Peggy?"

"Our paths diverged a long time ago, even before my accident. She was a strong, confident, proud woman, but I guess we weren't destined to be together. You remind me of her a lot if I am to be honest." Steve said with something SIMPLY special in his blue eyes. "I consider myself lucky I met you after the whole defrosting thing."

She knew what he meant. She could feel it, but still she decided not to voice out her emotions.

Natasha blinked a few times, holding back tears. _"What the fuck is happening to me…?"_

"Just promise me something, Steve." she muttered, relieved that her voice didn't tremble and no tear fell onto the floor.

"Anything for you Natasha."

"Never try to save my life again." She said, looking directly into his eyes.

Steve just gave her one of his dorky smiles she just _adored_. "We'll see about that."

Then the doors of the elevator opened and Bruce and Nick Fury stepped out, led by excited Tony. The trio hurried towards soldier's bed, all of them happy to finally see him awake and well.

"Steve! You're back!" Bruce said, putting on his glasses. "Natasha, if you don't mind I'd like to examine him."

"Sure, Bruce. This idiot almost got himself killed but you already know that." She said standing up. "Go ahead."

Bruce checked Steve's pulse and heartrate, and then searched through the analysis of the medical computer he and Tony created a few months earlier. Doctor updated soldier's medical files and turned towards him with an elated expression.

"Looks like you're back in the game Steve. You may leave the hospital tomorrow morning, but you still need rehabilitation, you know that?"

"Natasha told me before you came. I'll be cautious."

"I'll see to that, dumbass." Natasha said with a sinister smirk, while Fury and Tony exchanged intrigued looks.

"Very well then. I guess my job is done for today, I'm gonna get some sleep." Bruce said shutting down the medical machinery. He shook soldier's hand. "See you tomorrow, Steve."

Cap nodded and Bruce left. Then Fury approached, his bed and sat in Natasha's chair.

"It's good to see one of my best agents getting back in shape again." He said.

"Hey! What about me? Why no one is concerned about me?" Tony asked with feigned offense on his face.

"Don't you say anything else Stark or you will need a doctor as well." Natasha said, not turning back to Tony, who glanced at her Widow Bites and swallowed hard.

"Stark you are dismissed. Agent Romanoff you stay here. This concerns your mission." Fury said, while resentful billionaire strutted out of the room.

"What is it about, sir?" Steve asked with a concern in his voice. "Did someone else in the hotel got injured?"

"Three other guests and the receptionist. Fortunately their state is stable, S.H.I.E.L.D. took care of them in person." Fury replied in assuring tone and Steve exhaled deeply. "Yet there are bad news as well."

"What news?" Natasha scowled.

"We have our suspicions concerning the explosive planted in your apartment." Fury said with a grim expression. "Our experts state that it couldn't be an ordinary Hydra agent. Based on the reconstruction of the bomb we suspect that it was doing of the Winter Soldier."

Natasha grimaced and clenched her teeth. The Winter Soldier. She thought she heard it wrong but Fury confirmed that what he just said was true.

"Agent Romanoff knows what this is all about, however you Captain must be updated on this threat. I await your presence tomorrow at S.H.I.E.L.D.'s HQ." Fury said. "Your mission in Spain turned out to have dire consequences, which I should have foreseen. I failed - and for that I apologize."

"I understand, sir. How bad is our situation?" Steve asked simply.

"If our suspicions are correct, we are in serious trouble." Fury said and nodded them both. Then he turned back and exited the medical bay, leaving Natasha and Steve alone.

Soldier looked at redhead spy with quizzical expression on his face. "Natasha what's this all about?"

She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. She didn't answer at first and when she finally started to speak she was talking so quietly that Steve had problems with making out what she was saying.

"When I was still with the Red Room I would be given training IN various martial arts but this particular one... This was something different." She stopped and Steve saw something which he thought was impossible to witness. While her face didn't show any emotions her eyes certainly did.

Natasha's eyes were full of _fear_.

"I don't know his name. I don't even remember his face... He trained me so that I could become the best assassin in the world. And when I would fail the tasks given by him... He would punish me."

"What did he do to you, Natasha?" Steve asked with a hint of fear in his voice.

She ignored his question and continued. "What you must know however is that he is not a simple assassin who kills for money. He will eliminate you without hesitation and even though you can hold your own I don't think you're his equal." Natasha replied. "If Fury is correct than we are screwed. Pretty much dead already."

Steve looked at her wide-eyed. If Natasha Romanoff was scared of this… Winter Soldier than he had only thing to do. Soldier's eyes found hers and conveyed unvoiced message, followed by his quiet words.

"I won't let him hurt you again Natasha." Steve said with strange tenacity on his face.

Redhead spy glanced at him and gave him a lopsided smile. "We'll see about that."

Both of them could not know how gravely mistaken they were.

* * *

"Captain Rogers this is _not_ a threat you are accustomed with. While you undoubtedly have experience in fighting Hydra agents and soldiers, I need you to be prepared for the encounter with the Winter Soldier because apparently you or Agent Romanoff or both of you are on his target list." Fury was pacing around his office, while Natasha and Steve sat at the table, each of them with a file concerning the mysterious assassin.

"When you asked how serious our situation is I must say I did not lie. The Winter Soldier is responsible for over sixty-four confirmed murders and if you read the file you will know that these were not ordinary people." Fury said, pointing towards the documents. "These assassinations were carried out clearly for a specific reason, each one of them carefully planned and successful. Till the last one."

"Then why would he try to kill us just now? Why not Stark or Barton or any other S.H.I.E.L.D. agent?" Steve asked looking at the only photo of the Winter Soldier, the folder contained, which was taken on April 16th 1973.

The image was black and white, blurred, and the figure it showed was almost indistinguishable. The only thing Steve saw was that the assassin was tall and had long, dark hair.

"The Winter Soldier program was a secret just as the Black Widow one. And while Agent Romanoff was the only one to survive the training of the Red Room, the Winter Soldier had companions. We have confirmed information on seven individuals, however, only one seems to have survived.

The documents you see are unfortunately mostly incomplete due to the fact that the Winter Soldier was created to be rumour, something you easily forget or never believe it would exist. And while rumours usually do not kill people this one is responsible for elimination of numerous political figures worldwide, EACH OF THEM LISTED IN THIS FILE."

"His last activity before the bombing?" Steve asked, perusing through the documents.

"December 16, 1991. The day when Howard and Maria Stark were believed to have died in a car crash."

Steve froze with bewilderment. "Are you saying that this assassin murdered Howard? And his wife? Jesus..."

Fury nodded, while Natasha put her hand on his shoulder. "Calm down Steve. I'm sorry you had to learn it this way. I'm sure Tony would tell you someday."

"I've known Howard during war, he was my friend. He didn't deserve such death nor did his wife." Steve said sorrowfully. "Now I know what burden Tony must have carried all his life."

"That is why the winter soldier must be eliminated, Captain. I have deployed other agents almost immediately after your accident to search for any trace of his activity. As soon as we gain any information I will update you on it."

Steve nodded his head slightly, looking at an old photograph of Howard Stark, which was took just three days before his death. He had grey hair and a moustache but his eyes and features definitely resembled Tony's.

"As for now we know that the Winter Soldier is the best assassin the Hydra ever trained. He is skilled in the use of almost every type of firearm, yet he particularly favours modified AK-74, RPG-29 grenade launcher as well as MP-443 pistol. Our intel also suggests that he uses knives in combat similar to those utilized by Agent Romanoff and possesses extensive knowledge concerning computer hacking and explosives, which you already know."

"Stark must be warned of this. Maybe he can provide better protection for our systems." Natasha said and Fury nodded. "This man can take down a whole country in one night and we won't even notice. WE must be cautious."

Then the door opened and Phil Coulson rushed in with another folder in his hand. "Sir, we believe we got a recording of him. You must take a look at it."

Fury accepted the folder, took out a small, black flash drive and connected the device to the computer.

Soon, multiple photos appeared on the screen showing a tall man with long hair and baseball cap. He was dressed in a hoodie and had black glove on his left hand. He wasn't facing the camera directly but Steve was almost sure it was the assassin from the files he saw a few minutes ago.

"Thanks to Stark tech we were able to track the bastard and JARVIS says there is 99,79 % chance it is the man who tried to kill you, Cap." Coulson said with a grimace on his face.

Natasha knew that Coulson was a great fan of Steve and grew up on stories about the brave, American super-soldier. Phil considered him as a role model all his life (and had an impressive collection of Captain America Trading cards, which was thought to be extremely weird by his co-workers).

One way or another, Phil Coulson took the attempt on Steve's life as a personal insult.

"Where was it?" Steve asked looking at the screen. "And when?"

"Anchorage, Alaska. This footage was recorded four days ago, but we managed to extract it just now." Coulson said and started the video, which turned out to be very short.

It showed the assassin who was going towards the exit of the airport. Apart from the hoodie, cap and glove on his left hand he had a black worn backpack.

He squeezed through the crowd of people and left the building.

"It is unusual for him to get caught on camera just like that. He was undetectable for over fifty years and now he reveals himself so carelessly?" Coulson looked puzzled.

"Or maybe..." Fury turned towards them. "...he wants us to think so."

"And lure us into a trap." Natasha finished the sentence. "He didn't show his face directly, but he probably hopes we will pick up the trace."

They were silent for a few minutes, each one of them pondering the possible motives of the assassin when Steve finally asked, as always, in a simple, soldierly way. "What are your orders, sir?"

Fury looked at him and scratched his black beard. "Agent Romanoff, I'd like you to do a bit of detective work along with Agent Coulson. He will provide more insight into this footage and photos. We must know who is controlling the Winter Soldier as well as his base and possible next targets, apart from you and Captain Rogers of course."

Natasha and Phil nodded their heads and exited the room immediately. While walking towards the exit Natasha put her hand on Steve's arm in an reassuring manner. "See you in the evening Steve."

Fury activated his comlink. "Agent Hill, get me the rest of the Avengers for a debriefing in two hours."

"What about me, sir?"

"You have almost died during your last mission and Bruce told me not to bother you for a few days. As I recall correctly you said you needed some time off." Fury said, packing his documents and files.

"But, sir..."

"That's an order, captain Rogers. You are dismissed… for now." director of S.H.I.E.L.D. replied, exiting the office and leaving Steve with his thoughts alone.

* * *

The door of the elevator opened and Natasha stepped out to the communal floor of the Avengers Tower. After whole day of unsuccessful detective work (which centered mainly around hacking various computer systems to find any clue about the Winter Soldier) she was extremely tired.

The exhaustion however did not dull her innate-spy senses and she immediately spotted someone sitting on the sofa. It was pretty dark already and she wasn't sure if that was Steve or Clint or any other Avenger.

"Who's that?"

The figure didn't answer but stood up and turned towards her.

"You missed me, redhead?"

Before she could comprehend what he said she drew her dual Glocks and fired at least dozen times aiming for his chest and head but he must have worn some kind of bullet-proof armour as he didn't stop approaching her.

_That's why JARVIS didn't greet her at the entrance_.

Someone hacked Stark's AI system along with the security system and then broke into the Tower. Honestly, she thought it was impossible.

But in that moment Natasha felt unbearably cold hand closing on her throat and realized it was not a normal human's fingers but silvery metal. Her feet rose into the air as the aggressor lifted her up and her guns fell to the floor. She growled trying to free herself from his grasp, which only resulted in his fingers tightening the hold.

She gasped for air, desperately striving for oxygen, but then everything began to blur. Almost unconscious she looked into his face, but realized he was wearing black mask with dark-red visors, one of them broken as she must have hit the eye.

Then the assassin spoke.

"Oh you're going to be a perfect bait." She wasn't sure what gave her bigger creeps – his sinister, muffled voice or the fact that she found it somehow familiar. "You see I'm not actually interested in such worthless bitch like yourself but I will enjoy watching your reaction when he dies, anyway."

"I'm gonna, krhh, kill krhh you..." Natasha managed to splutter but then she received a blow to her head and everything went black. Her body fell to the ground with a thud.

"Sweet dreams, honey. Don't worry, I'll take care of you… and your friend."

He put a sealed envelope on the kitchen table, picked up unconscious spy and left the Tower with Natasha flipped over his left shoulder.

* * *

**A/N: What do you think about this chapter? I hope you find the plot captivating as I have a whole bunch of ideas to lead our favourite duo into an epic and dark adventure... As you can see Phil Coulson is alive and well in my series, so once again, I'd like to point out that I made some changes to the plot, shown by MCU. I would **_**love**_** to hear your opinions on my story so feel free to leave feedback. That's all for this week, the next chapter should be on schedule (at least I hope so). Goodbye! WS**

**PS: Do you Guys know what to do in order to upload an image for my story as cover (e. g. Steve and Natasha) and NOT get your story / account banned / deleted and so on for all those copyright issues? What should I do with the "permission" to use a certain pic? I would love to get a private message on this, as I want to make my story as enjoyable as possible and I think that a cover is a must-have. Peace! WS**


	5. A kiss before dying

**A/N: **

_**Message 1**_** I apologize for the unexpected delay, but I think I won't be able to post once a week and that's why I would like to inform all of my followers (love u all) that my chapters will be published once every 2 weeks.**

_**Message 2**_** Brace yourselves! Steve and Natasha are in danger...**

**WARNING: This chapter contains brutal scenes.**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Marvel Cinematic Universe, etc.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 5: A kiss before dying**

_… now wait, wait, wait for me  
Please hang around  
I see you when I fall asleep…_

_\- Of Monsters and Man, "Little talks" _

* * *

"God dammit! This motherfucker damaged JARVIS core so badly I fear I might not be able to bring him back." Tony cursed under his breath while he and Bruce were doing their best to repair the impaired mainframe of the Stark's private AI-assistant system.

"I checked the CPU and it is mostly unharmed." mumbled Bruce running diagnostic of JARVIS core and Tony exhaled deeply. "However the hyperconducing coils and inertial shock dampers are damaged. Gonna replace those."

"What the fuck did he do? How did he even manage to deactivate my AI?" Tony said clenching his teeth. "I wrote the antivirus _myself_. It couldn't have failed."

Bruce shrug his shoulders. He knew that this time Tony wasn't flexing as he truly _had_ a knack for doing computer software – all of S.H.I.E.L.D. was using Stark-issued tech (with the only difference now that the company was supervised by Pepper Potts).

"He didn't damage the arc reactor, I've already checked that." Bruce said scratching his beard. "If we will reboot JARVIS we will probably regain access to the surveillance data."

"I hope so. " Billionaire frowned.

"I guess Fury was right and this guy is _really_ that good at hacking. You may have indirectly met your equal."

"Fucking winter soldiers." Tony rolled his eyes and looked around for extra capacitor voltage transformers.

* * *

"Steve, for fuck sake, could you stop for a moment? You unnerve me even more." Clint grumbled with irritated voice.

Clint, Steve and Thor were on the communal floor of the Avengers Tower. God of thunder and Hawkeye sat on the couch, while Steve was pacing nervously around the room.

"I'm sorry Clint. I'm so worried about her." Steve sat on the couch. "That bastard got her and he can do _anything_ to her."

"She's tough, she'll make it. Despite this we have to find her – and we have to do it fast." archer said. "Winter soldiers were a competitive program to Black Widows. Let's say they don't like each other much."

"Calm yourself down, Steven. Impulsivity will not help us in seeking out lady Natasha." Thor said in a deep voice. "When we find this assassin I will give you a chance for revenge... After I bash his head with Mjolnir."

"Thanks, Thor." Steve muttered not looking at the god of thunder. "Any news from Fury?"

"Nope. Still looking." Clint checked his phone. "It's been only eight hours."

Steve leaned back and closed his eyes. He wanted so _badly_ to believe it was just a terrible dream and Natasha was still with them... with him.

He was so angry; he knew he shouldn't have left her to that spying-hacking work alone. Coulson couldn't have supervised her all the time. If only Fury assigned him to work with her...!

And when he returned to the Avengers Tower that evening, Natasha was gone and there was no sign of her whatsoever. It was Tony who came first to this conclusion as he found JARVIS disabled and Tower's security systems corrupted, which had never happened before – even during the Battle of NYC.

And while Steve didn't know where she was taken, he was _definitely_ sure that it was the winter soldier who was responsible for kidnapping her.

His fists clenched unwittingly, his knuckles white. "It's my fault." He muttered.

"What are you talking about?" Clint asked surprised, focusing his eyes on Cap. "You weren't at the Tower at the time, you couldn't have done anything. Even JARVIS didn't stand a chance."

"Well then, I should have been. Now I'm pretty sure that he spied on me since the incident in Spain. He made sure I was away, so he could take her..." Steve replied, his face deep in thought. "Oh, my God. His using her to get to me."

Clint looked at Steve with sad smile. "Well, you _are_ pretty close with her, so..."

"We're just friends." Steve replied knowing that it was a lie and immediately regretting he said so. He hated himself for that.

Archer knew better than to argue and then he spotted a small, black envelope on the kitchen table. Steve was so busy, worrying about Natasha that he didn't realize there was something on the table.

"Hey, what's that?"

Clint picked up the envelope, looked at little letters on its front. "Steve it's addressed to you."

"Let me see that." Steve frowned.

He took the envelope from Clint and looked at the little, red-ink letters.

_**Капитан Америка**_

Steve opened the envelope carefully and started to read the message. His eyes scanned the text quickly, his fingers tightening the hold of the piece of paper with each line he read.

"What's wrong Steven?" Thor put his hand on soldiers shoulder.

"I was right." Steve said and Clint looked at his devastated expression with fear. "The winter soldier took her in order to get to me. I should have known."

"What do you mean? Let me read it." Archer and Asgardian asked collectively.

After a brief moment of silence, Thor spoke up. "Steven this is clearly a trap. You cannot go there alone, we need our captain and leader."

Steve knew that Thor's words meant much, as the god of thunder considered him a brother, which was unusual for other-worldly gods.

Nonetheless he had to do it alone.

"No. I _will_ go there alone. I must do that... for her." Steve said with a vague expression on his face, while Thor and Clint exchanged worried glances.

"Okay, so you'll meet him and when he shows up I'll put an arrow in his head." Clint said. "Or he'll get pummeled by Thor's hammer. How's that?"

"No, Clint. I must do it alone."

"Steven..."

"I have no right to stop you, so I ask you as a friend." soldier said putting the letter on the table. "I need to think things through. Excuse me..."

* * *

Steve was on the balcony on his floor, with sketchbook and set of pencils.

He was drawing landscape of the city, as was his habit, trying to calm down all the thoughts swirling and racing through his mind with a speed of light.

How did this happen? After the defrosting process and being recruited by S.H.I.E.L.D. his life became so much complicated. He was a soldier. He did the things in a simple way, always considered the simplest solutions to be the best. But ever since he woke up, the life turned out to be quite the opposite. And he wasn't thinking about the missions. These were simple as always, he fought the same enemy during the war all those years ago and was prepared.

Adjustment. The worst part was adjusting to the surrounding world, _so different_ from the one he knew once. Modern people seemed so self-centred, egoistic, not paying attention to the world around them and others. Shame.

Steve sighed and crumpled the drawing.

Face-to-face interactions became so limited in the modern world; he remember the good old times with Commandos, Bucky and his friends from army when they would meet every evening and spent time together. It has changed so much probably due to this all technological advancement (or crap, as Steve would call it), which was a true nightmare for old-fashioned soldier as Clint accurately pointed out.

"Wow, now I _do_ sound like an old man. Thank God Tony's not around." he thought to himself.

But Avengers, Steve's new family, proved him wrong about this. They were, all of them, helpful, supportive and brave (even the narcissistic and annoying Tony). Cap fought side by side with them, trained with them, lived in the same Tower, ate meals, joked, discussed, cried and mourned. Five years has passed and he was slowly getting used to this crazy 21st century.

And then he realized that Natasha came onto the stage along with the others and that was like thunderstorm.

Natasha Romanoff. Brave, cunning, determined, decisive and self-controlled. She was a deadly warrior and a lethal assassin, her skills outmatching probably the skills of all the Avengers and S.H.I.E.L.D. agents combined when it came to spying and infiltrating. Clint was probably the only one equal to her in this area or at least close enough.

She was also a woman who knew how to gain access to Steve's emotions and way of thinking. Sometimes he thought, she could read him without a faintest difficulty, like an open book, which he found extremely embarrassing.

Steve didn't call her beautiful aloud, as she didn't like the cheesy talk. However the truth was, that Steve realized over the years, that she was the only one who helped him move on after Peggy's death.

Of course that didn't mean falling in love with her instantly, no. It was pretty... Complicated.

Soldier looked at her for all those years and considered himself lucky to have met someone like Natasha to cover his back. And he wasn't thinking about the battles, that he could handle alone – just as he put Schmidt's plane into the freezing northern waters of the Arctic.

She was a woman who made Steve Rogers blood boil. She made him uncomfortable so many times that he couldn't even remember. She played pranks on him with Clint – once she stole his shield and clothes, so he had to roam around the Avengers Tower with towel around his waist (the second time she did this, the towel was gone and Steve's face matched the colour of well-aged wine).

Other pranks provided Tony Stark with pictures so embarrassing that Steve pretty much had social-media-related PTSD.

He shook his had. Natasha was a beautiful, strong, proud, never unyielding woman who stole something from Steve, something he deemed to be buried deeply and irretrievably inside him.

Soldier knew that Natasha Romanoff has already taken his heart the moment he opened that small black envelope. _**Капитан Америка**_.

Ironic. They had so much time together and yet he didn't manage to tell her about his feelings. This was so _cliché_, as Tony would call it. And now he was probably going to pay for that.

Steve pinched the bridge of his nose and exhaled deeply. He mumbled the words that he had so much difficulties with, but she wasn't there to listen. No one was. He was all alone again.

Over the faraway horizon, black clouds started to gather and ominous sound of distant thunder rumbled across the sky.

* * *

Silent knock on the door brought Steve back from his crazy train of thought. He put away his sketchbook and pencil. The drawing depicted Natasha sitting on a couch, dressed in black jeans and red tank top, her fiery hair surrounding those beautiful emerald eyes. She had her iconic half-smile Steve just _adored_.

"May I come in?" Tony asked from behind the door.

"Sure." Steve said letting billionaire inside.

Tony sat in the armchair and started without beating around the bush.

"I heard from Clint and Thor that you're planning to do a little solo escapade."

"I am Tony. I must get her out." Steve replied checking his suit for any damage. His shield was in the cupboard – he knew he would have no use of it and it would probably be taken away from him if he showed up for the meeting with the kidnapper.

"Let me help you." Tony said quietly. "You know this motherfucker will probably kill you."

Steve smiled sorrowfully. "I've already lived much longer than I was meant to. End of the line, I guess."

Billionaire looked at him with fear in his eyes. _"Since when he became so bitter? God dammit it's much worse than I thought."_

"Don't be a fool, Steve. I'm coming with you." Tony said, standing up and intending to suit up immediately. "JARVIS send my..."

"NO." Steve said firmly. "No you are not."

He turned towards Tony and said in a tired voice. "It's _my_ fault she's there. If I can trade my life for hers... Then I'll do so without hesitation. And I don't want anyone else, especially you to get hurt as well."

Tony put his hand on soldier's shoulder. "You love her Stripes, don't you?"

Steve didn't answer and once again – hated himself for doing so.

"Take this." Stark said handing Steve a small shiny object with irregular edge. "This micro-GPS will inform us on your exact location. We will come for you as soon as you enter Hydra's base. Maybe we can turn this suicide plan into something useful."

"Thank you, Tony." Steve shook billionaire's hand and put the device into his pocket. "I didn't know you're so well-mannered Tony. Living with Pepper has its advantages, huh?"

"Don't get used to it." said Tony with a sarcastic grin.

* * *

"Капитан Америка. As always on time."

Steve turned abruptly towards the dim-lit corner of the alley where he was supposed to meet Natasha's kidnapper, ready to retaliate but the attack did not come, no gunshot or flash of blade.

A tall figure in black outfit and face-mask with dark-red visors emerged from the darkness, just a few meters away from him. The figure had holsters with guns on both thighs and waist as well as countless combat knives strapped here and there. The face was completely unrecognizable due to the mask and dark shoulder-length hair.

Captain suddenly realized that the silver glove the assassin was wearing in the footage provided by Coulson was actually assassin's _hand_ – in fact his whole upper limb was made out of small, shiny, metal plates which quietly rustled every time the winter soldier moved it.

He also had a distinctive red star painted on his cybernetic shoulder, while his normal arm was holding a Berreta 92 pistol with silencer attached.

"I see you received my letter. Did I get the address correctly?" The assassin asked, ostentatiously reloading the gun. "You know, I knew Natalia's address, as for yours I wasn't that sure..."

"Shut up. You tried to kill me back in Spain, so now you figured you will take her in order to get to me, huh?" Steve snarled, feeling his muscles becoming tense.

"Well I must admit that for a typical American you can think from time to time. Congratulations." The winter soldier fiddled with trigger of the gun, not looking at Steve.

"Where is Natasha?" Steve asked.

"Captain don't make me shoot you right now." Assassin sighed, switching off the safety and pointing the gun at Steve's head. "You know the drill. If you don't come with me, I'll make sure she'll have a night to _remember_. Of course if she survives it."

Then the he laughed quietly which sounded more like a growl.

Steve took a step closer, his fists clenched and looked into the red visors of his opponent's mask.

"Where is she?" Steve asked again and one blink later, he got shot in his left thigh. The bullet felt like a venomous sting piercing through his muscles, each of his nerve endings screaming in agony.

Even with his heightened pain-resistance Steve couldn't help but to groan in pain.

"I told you, Captain." assassin snarled, putting the gun back into the holster. "Your life for hers... Or not. Haven't decided yet."

Steve fell to his knees holding the bleeding wound and breathing loudly.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER?! WHE-"

He didn't finish as he was silenced with a sequence of heavy blows dealt by assassin's metal left arm. Captain became still, blood pouring freely onto the dirty ground and a single empty bullet shell.

"Fucking Americans." The assassin spat onto the ground with contempt.

* * *

_17 hours after Steve's disappearance _

"God dammit! I've lost his signal." Tony growled with anger, furiously typing on keyboard of his computer. "JARVIS what is the last known location of Stripes?"

"Thirty miles west from Anchorage, Canada, sir." AI replied instantly.

"Try to determine possible destination of his kidnapper." Tony said and pressed his comlink.

"Right away, sir."

Tony pressed his comlink. "Hey Gang. Meeting in my lab in five minutes."

Soon all the remaining Avengers appeared in Tony's favourite workplace - laboratory number 9, where he would assemble new Iron Man combat suits and train in martial arts.

"Any news on Cap's whereabouts?" Clint asked, taking a seat between Thor and Bruce.

"My GPS shows he was near Anchorage, three hours ago." Tony replied. "JARVIS is trying to determine his specific location now."

Everyone exchanged worried glances as they suddenly realized that their team has just been deprived of their leader and best spy amongst S.H.I.E.L.D. ranks.

"How the fuck did this happen?" Tony asked pinching the base of his nose.

"Clint, I thought you and Thor were to check on him."

"We did, but he was already gone." Clint mumbled angrily. "It's a shame he wants so desperately get himself killed."

"She means a great deal to him, as for all of us." Bruce said quietly.

They were silent for a few seconds when JARVIS spoke up. "Mr Stark, I tracked Captain Rogers route and it points that the signal was irreversibly lost in the eastern part of Aleutian Islands."

"Why the fuck the signal was so weak and now is completely gone? I was the one who made the tracker." billionaire snarled.

"Electrocuffs. I've already came across those on my mission in Bulgaria." Clint replied. "They constantly release high voltage electric impulses that paralyze the muscles of the victim. Simple but effective."

Everyone had a disgusted look on their faces.

"Cap was probably heavily stunned and the discharge could have damaged the circuits in your GPS Tony." Bruce finished. "We are extremely fortunate we know more or less where Steve is."

"So, we are now going to free Steven?" Thor asked raising his arm and summoning Mjolnir.

"This means disobeying direct order from S.H.I.E.L.D." Bruce said and everyone nodded in unison. "But there is no other way."

"Okay gang, suit up. We meet in 10 minutes on the 77th floor. We gonna fly there in my jet." Tony ordered and left the room in order to get his newest Iron Man suit on.

All the other Avengers left with the same intention in their minds.

* * *

_She walks down a dark, long corridor, full of locked doors, each and every one marked with a single red star. Just as before she reaches the end of the hallway and the door opens by itself. She walks into the humid air of New York City suburbs, another town inside a bigger city._

_It's warm Saturday night and the alley is not frequented by any passers-by. Not even stray dog or homeless people bother he. Nothing but a narrow lane, a few dumpsters and poor lightning._

_She looks around and at the far end of the alley she spots two figures talking angrily. Then she sees that one of them falls to his knees and yells something she cannot make out._

_Her pace quickens and she runs for it._

_Just as she is about to grab his hand, she catches a glimpse of blue eyes filled with fear and disappointment. Then everything is engulfed in darkness and the only thing she sees is this sinister impassive mask piercing through her soul._

_"He intends to give his life for yours, you know that Natalia?"_

_"I do."_

_"That is fascinating, don't you agree? After all those years, without your true family, you could still manipulate him so he thinks he actually needs to save YOU. You did not forget the old ways."_

_"Shut the fuck up. Friends care for each other. I didn't manipulate him."_

_"It's all the same to me... After all you are fooling yourself. Just like you did all those years."_

_"I will kill you fucker. For what you have done to him."_

_"I am afraid you will not have a chance to validate your intentions, because let's face it... you are just a murderer, Natalia."_

_She feels as if she was falling and wakes with scream coming out of her mouth and words, so painfully echoing in her mind._

_"You are not worth saving."  
_

* * *

She was sitting in a metal chair, stripped of her clothing except for the underwear, her hands and feet bound by heavy chains. She was barely able to move them, but that was enough to restore blood circulation in lower parts of her limbs.

Natasha felt numbness in her whole body, her stiff muscles not responding to her will at first and then suddenly a shiver of pain raced through her body. She cursed under her breath.

Redhead spy looked around and realized she was in large room with rough concrete walls, small 20 watt lightbulb hanging from the ceiling and nothing else, but a reinforced steel door to her right.

She used her teeth to acquire on of her secret pockets in her bra, trying to find a lockpick.

* * *

"Well, well our little red almost broke free." cold low voice said as Natasha managed to free one of her hands from the chains.

She glared at him with disgust. "Fuck you, Hydra scum."

He clicked his tongue and shook his head. "Oh no, Natalia, with such attitude we're not gonna go far. Let me teach you something."

He approached her, brutally grabbed her free hand and recuffed again to the metal chair, now adding a heavy padlock.

Next he slapped her face with his metal hand, leaving deep cuts on her left cheek, adding yet another scar to her collection.

"Try to change the way you look at me Romanoff, because we are going to spend a _long_ night together." The winter soldier whispered. "It's gonna be a special night you see, because we have an equally special guest today."

Look of terror and disbelief crept over her face as she saw Steve being dragged into the room and chained to the wall in front of her which had special metal rings just for one single purpose.

She immediately summoned her emotionless mask onto her face, but she knew well what awaited her partner.

_Interrogation_.

"What is he doing here? Where are the others?!" she thought to her desperately.

A few Hydra agents carried in a small brazier along with set of strange looking tools, including set of various knives, tongs, razors and fire poker.

Then the winter soldier approached Steve's still body and injected him with a transparent liquid of unknown origin. Soon Cap fluttered his eyes open. An incoherent groan escaped his mouth.

"Well I believe we don't need to introduce each other so maybe let's get straight to business shall we?" The winter soldier said, setting the little furnace ablaze and putting the fire poker into it.

"What...? Where... NATASHA?!" Steve managed to focuse his blurred sight on the redhead spy and felt his heart dropping.

He was immediately silenced with a slap to the face just as was Natasha a few minutes earlier.

"Shut up Rogers. You are not the one to answer my questions today. You are the one to suffer for the mistakes of this bitch."

The assassin turned towards Natasha and he took off his mask, revealing fairly handsome face with short beard and brown eyes. Something about those eyes made redhead spy uncomfortable, which _was_ extremely difficult to achieve.

"Now, maybe you Rogers, as a dumb American lapdog are not aware why you are my guest today." The winter soldier continued.

Steve flinched hearing his voice. And then he saw his oppressor's face...

A series of pictures, like in an old cinema, he used to go, flew before Steve's eyes, as his heart stopped for a few beats.

"Bucky...?" he asked quizzically trying to focus his sight again, this time on assassin's face. He wasn't sure however – the thing he was injected with was probably a strong hallucinogen and made him drowsy.

The Winter Soldier laughed for a few long moments, while Natasha watched the whole scene with horror in her eyes.

"Oh, this is going to be _much_ better than I expected." assassin said. "You know, he was going to sacrifice his life for yours, Natalia? For your worthless, blood-stained life of remorseless murderer?"

Redhead spy was silent, thinking intensely on how to get out of this situation with Steve still alive.

"Pathetic. We both know you are not the one to die for - and now I am going to demonstrate it." aggressor said. "Rogers, are you ready to die for her?"

Steve concentrated as much as he could, which was not an easy task while being intoxicated, and muttered quietly. "Just let… let her go. You have me, let her go."

The next instant he got punched in his stomach. "Louder Rogers, I don't think she heard you."

Steve exhaled loudly, but before he got to say anything he received another heavy blow. Blood spilt down onto the concrete floor, his nose broken badly.

"Too slow." assassin said turning towards Natasha, who was glaring at him with hateful eyes. "So little red. How about you tell me every detail on S.H.I.E.L.D. you know? Don't worry we will start slowly, I will ask one question at a time, so maybe your... _friend_ will survive this."

Natasha pressed her lips in a tight line and was silent.

"First question. How did you find and eliminate Alcala?"

Natasha was silent and so was Steve.

Assassin waited for a few seconds for answer but when he did not receive any he pinched the bridge of his nose with his metal fingers.

"Very well. Let's see how long he's gonna take it."

Natasha maintained emotionless face, screaming inside, because she knew what Steve will have to endure.

Look of determination appeared on Steve's face and he looked into the winter soldier's merciless eyes. Seconds later the assassin threw a punch and broke Steve's jaw with a disgusting sound. Blood and saliva spilt through Cap's crushed lips onto the ground, a disfigured groan escaping his mouth.

Natasha closed her eyes. She didn't knew how long Steve was going to take it and she just couldn't reveal every information about S.H.I.E.L.D. It was more important than both of them – even if it meant death at the hands of the enemy.

"Nothing? Alright Natalia, next question."

She was stabbing him with her eyes, but he just casually wiped the red from his metal fingers and asked another question.

"What are the clearance codes of Nicholas Fury? This one is pretty simple to answer, Natalia."

Natasha hating herself for that, remained silent and still, trying to kill the winter soldier with her eyes. This time a whole minute passed before assassin spoke up.

"Impressive." The winter soldier sighed. "It's a shame that _he_ is going to pay for that."

Natasha observed him with horror in her eyes, which she failed to hide, as he took the fire poker out of the brazier. Assassin smiled at her.

"You can breathe, you can blink, you can cry... Oh hell you're gonna do that, Natalia." grinning like a madman he pressed the burning hot rod to Steve's body.

* * *

Having received so many blows to his whole body Steve reached the state in which his thoughts became incoherent as each second of his life felt like an eternity of pain, each inch of his being, tortured to the brink of insanity.

Everything was blurry and he no longer could recognize who was hitting him nor who was crying for him.

The only thing he felt was inhuman pain racing through every fibre of his body. He was still chained to the wall but his wounded leg didn't manage to support the weight of his body so he just let go, putting the strain on his wrists.

The voices he heard reached him as if they were muffled by a thick wall but they might have been as well in foreign language as he couldn't decipher their meaning.

He clenched to his last remains of consciousness when he realized how foolish he was.

It was obvious that the winter soldier wasn't going to give her back and yet Steve believed it could be done...

And now - he was paying for that.

* * *

Natasha observed Steve with terror on her face, which she didn't even hide. Once handsome face of the super soldier was now covered in multiple bruises and deep cuts, his facial bones badly broken and blood smeared all over his face.

He had a stabbing wound in his left thigh and his right forearm broken, but the worst were the black burns on his chest and abdomen. How he managed to stay conscious was a mystery to Natasha.

"Well now. Will you answer my question now, Natalia?" The winter soldier smirked and took out a gun, pointing it at Steve's forehead. "I really lost my patience. Think twice before answering."

Then Natasha heard something she wasn't expecting in her wildest dreams.

Regular, steady, metallic footsteps could be heard from behind the door. Winter Soldier realized that as well and turned towards the entrance, putting his Beretta 92 SD into the holster on his right thigh and grabbing a modified AK74 with laser sight and combat knife attached.

The footsteps silenced.

Then a powerful roar could be heard and the wall behind the assassin exploded sending him across the room. He hit hard against the concrete wall, the gun falling out of his hand.

Natasha looked in bewilderment as Hulk bursted into the room and freed tortured Steve from chains.

At the same time Tony in his Iron Man suit grabbed Natasha and flew out of the ruined interrogation chamber. She looked down on the base of Hydra located on a small island in the middle of nowhere, quickly shrinking as Tony flew towards his private StarkJet hovering over the raging Pacific Ocean.

Tony landed in the hold of the jet and put Natasha down.

"You okay? Gotta help Clint." Tony said.

"I'm okay, but Steve is in terrible state." Natasha replied. "Send them to hell for what they did to him."

Tony nodded as his visor went down with a metallic sound. "Will do, Natasha."

A few minutes later Hulk emerged from the dark, rainy night and landed in the same place as Stark, holding unconscious Steve in his gigantic, green hands.

"STEVE!" Natasha ran to the super soldier why Hulk transformed back into Bruce Banner, who quickly put on spare clothes.

"JARVIS my medical supplies." Bruce asked, putting on his glasses.

"Right away, sir." AI responded, unlocking a locker, full of containers with surgical tools, bandages, IVs, numerous medications and more. Bruce also gained access to the medical machinery which started to read Steve's vitals.

"Bruce, please save him." Natasha pleaded, helping doctor put Steve's heavy body on the metal desk.

"I'll see what I can do. Sit over there." Bruce said.

"I want..." spy started but Bruce interrupted.

"No. Steve requires immediate medical attention and you won't be much of a help to me." Bruce stated in indisputable tone. "If you're alright let mi help him first."

Natasha nodded and sat in the passengers area, closing her eyes.

In the meantime Tony, Thor and Clint returned from the Hydra base, their faces and clothing bearing signs of recent, ferocious battle with Winter Soldier's thugs.

Natasha was extremely weak and did not eat nor drink anything in three days. Her voice was hoarse and husky and she accepted water, handed her by Clint, with gratefulness.

Tony approached her with small black item with red button on top. "I thought you'd like to do it yourself."

JARVIS took the jet away from base and then she pushed the button, looking through the small window of the passengers bay.

A powerful explosion scarred the harsh landscape of the Aleutian Islands as the Hydra base disappeared in raging flames.

* * *

After almost two hours of meticulous work, Bruce finished patching Steve up and Natasha went over to check on Cap who had his whole face and left thigh covered in bandages, while his chest was covered in hydrogel band-aids.

Steve's right forearm was badly broken and thus immobilized. Three different IVs were connected with Steve's circulatory system, providing him with nutrients and pain-killers constantly as his metabolism burned those abnormally quickly.

Natasha looked at the cardiac monitor and saw that his pulse was irregular and faint. She fixed her sight on his damaged body with guilt in her eyes.

_"Oh my god, what have they done to him..."_ she thought to herself.

"I've done what I could. Can I see if you're injured?" Bruce turned towards her.

"I'm fine Bruce, OK? I'll just... stay with him for now."

"Of course. If something happens I'm nearby." Bruce replied and went to the jet's hold, where he tended to other members of their team.

Natasha took Steve's hand gently into hers. "I'm sorry Steve, It's all my fault..."

* * *

They arrived at the Avengers Tower seven hours later, JARVIS expertly landed the StarkJet on helipad on the 77th floor, despite heavy rainstorm which was currently sweeping through NYC.

They stepped out the vehicle, Thor carrying Steve to the medical bay with Bruce and Tony following him, while Clint tried to comfort Natasha who was staggering as a consequence of extreme physical and mental strain.

After Steve disappeared with his escort in the elevator, archer quickly prepared Natasha a meal and put it into the oven. Then he sat beside Natasha on the couch of the communal floor.

She was curled up, her knuckles white and eyes widened, fixed on something Barton couldn't see.

After a few moments of unbearable silence and Natasha's shivers Clint lifted her and put her on his lap.

"Come over here." he said and embraced her in a hug. She clasped to him and started to cry loudly and uncontrollably.

Clint stroke her tangled, dirty, red hair and though he wasn't particularly religious he prayed for finding Natasha and Steve just in time to prevent the worst. He needed to thank Stark for his initiative and means of locating the lost duo.

Moreover he was finally sure that Natasha truly loved blue-eyed super-soldier who was currently fighting for his life down in the medical bay.

"It's okay Nat, It's okay..." Clint said tightening the hug and she cried even louder.

"I've al-almost lost him, Cli-Clint. I don't kn-know what... What I would do with-without him…" she sobbed into Clint's arm.

"Fortunately we found you, you're safe now." mumbled Clint. "I'll never let any Hydra scum touch you again. Plus those who kidnapped you are sleeping with the fishes now."

"I know, Clint. But it was my fa-fault he had to go through all that." she muttered. "He suffered so much and I am so fucking stu-stupid..."

"No, Nat, no, you are not. Have you forgotten our talk after his previous accident?" Clint stated in a serious tone. "Don't you EVER say that again."

"He was ready to get himself killed for me... The winter soldier said I wasn't worth dying for." Redhead spy said not looking at her best friend.

"Oh, and suddenly you believe the fucker who kills people without hesitation? What's wrong Nat?"

Natasha looked into archer's eyes. "I've done the same once. And it returned today during that interrogation... "

"But you have changed and erased your past. You and saved countless people since then and now you're trying to deny the feelings you have for Steve for a reason that I don't understand."

"I cannot... I cannot risk like that again. He's my weakness and I must disappear." she whispered, trying not to cry even more "For now, at least."

"Don't do that, we can handle it together..." Barton started, but she continued.

"No, Clint. He almost died twice because of me in a span of a month… he may die today."

"Natasha..."

"I don't want to lose him. I won't let that happen."

Clint exhaled deeply. He knew better than to argue with stubborn spy, especially after she witnessed her partner being beaten almost to death. "Please, think it through. Don't leave him."

Natasha just shook her head with a mixture of determination and sadness on her face.

"At least eat something, you look malnourished." Archer said standing up and going to kitchen. He handed her a plate and cup od strong hot tea.

"Clint give me a bre-"

"End of discussion, Romanoff." Clint stated in a serious tone and pointed towards the plate. "I'm not leaving until you finish this."

* * *

_A month later_

It was a beautiful, sunny but crisp day with birds singing in the leafy trees, under which two people slowly strolled down the verdant alleys of Central Park.

One of them at least, as the other one with blond hair and blue eyes used wheelchair, which was pulled by a his good friend Sam Wilson.

"How do you feel today, Steve?" Sam asked fixing the blanket on his friend's knees. "You didn't say anything today."

The soldier just sighed and returned to observing nature around him, pondering the events of the last few months.

Receiving no answer Sam continued to push Steve's wheelchair further into the Park, Cap's favourite place of relaxation in NYC. They st(rolled) for a long time until they reached the edge of the lake, where Steve asked to stop and admired the peaceful view of the water amongst the greenery.

Super-soldier's mind was occupied with two people; one of them was the winter soldier, which looked exactly like Bucky… Steve didn't know what to think about it. His best friend from childhood and army had gone missing so long ago, during that unfortunate train hijacking and was never heard from since…

Cap shook his head. It couldn't have been Bucky. It was just an illusion due to the injection with hallucinogen. At least he hoped it was.

The second person to mess with his thoughts was Natasha Romanoff. He actually admitted her feelings back there in the Hydra base. He knew she heard him well, despite his quiet voice.

And yet she didn't mention that at all during her long visit at his side in the medical bay of Avengers Tower which was slowly becoming Steve's second bedroom as Tony put it.

She was sad _every time _she checked up on him and even though he asked her countless times what's wrong she kept saying "It's okay, Rogers."

Sometimes her stubbornness made him unspeakably annoyed but he would never say that aloud.

"She's hiding something from me…what did I do wrong?" Just as this thought came to his mind he spotted a long-legged redhead spy he loved so much who was strolling at the far side of the lake, unaware of his presence.

"Better now, than ever." He mumbled and called to Sam. "Could you please give me a lift to the other side of the lake?"

"Of course, Cap." Sam replied and drove his best friend's wheelchair towards Natasha.

They met at the exit of the Park and Natasha was just about to leave when Steve called after her. She turned immediately and super-soldier saw her expression, full of guilt and sadness.

"I'm gonna leave you for a few moments." Sam whispered to Steve's ear, who nodded gratefully.

Natasha approached his wheelchair.

"Hey Natasha" he said.

"Hey Steve." She replied not looking at him.

"I know, I tried dozens of times to get this out of you, but you always put me off. What's wrong Natasha, what did I do wrong that you don't speak with me?"

She was silent and fixed her eyes on the lake.

"Natasha I beg you, I won't leave until you tell me." Steve said desperately.

The redhead spy sighed. "Nothing. I just… I must leave."

Steve looked like he received a blow to the head with a bag of bricks. "What? Why?"

"You wouldn't understand." She replied quietly.

"Is it because of something I said? Or did? Please don't leave Natasha, the team needs you…I need you." He said not believing what is happening.

She sighed again. "Told you. I'm leaving and I don't know if I will come back."

"Natasha, I beg you…"

"You almost got yourself killed back there for me… I can't let that happen again."

"I told you, that…"

"No, Steve. Don't finish this, don't make it more difficult for me." She said in a sorrowful but firmly. "Goodbye, Steve."

She leaned and gave him a kiss on his right cheek. Then she walked away.

"Natasha! NATASHA!"

Steve tried to stand up from his wheelchair, but was unable to support the weight of his still weakened body and fell to the ground. He saw Sam running to him.

"Natasha…"

Redhead spy did not turn back and soon disappeared in the traffic of the city.

* * *

**A/N: Well that's it! My longest and most action-packed chapter up to date. If you feel like reviewing my work after those 5 chapters go ahead and leave a feedback. Also I would like to remind that I will be posting the chapters once every 2 weeks. That's all for now. Peace! WS**

**PS. Can't thank you enough for those 19 follows. That's so freaking fantastic.**


	6. Exile

**A/N: Hi there! I must admit that 21 follows and 12 favs is something truly **_**magical**_**. We are **_**so**_** close to the Romanogers fluff, but first our hot-headed duo must suffer a bit (like if they didn't before lol) – so as to acknowledge something **_**we**_** knew about for long, long time…**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Marvel Cinematic Universe, etc.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 6: Exile**

_I'm so all alone  
Sitting in my room  
Waiting for your call  
But you're not here anymore  
What I am to do  
I'm still feeling you  
You make more than life  
More than life _

_\- Mighty 44, "Calling your name"_

* * *

"Can you tell me where the hell is Rogers? Oh, and Romanoff by the way?" Nick Fury asked angrily, fixing his eyepatch into position. "Why do I always have problems with those two?"

"Believe me sir, we've been asking ourselves the same question for some time." Clint replied, while the other Avengers gathered in Nick's office at S.H.I.E.L.D. HQ, nodded collectively.

"When did he disappear?"

"Three days ago. He left a note, saying _'Don't follow me under any circumstances. I'll be OK'_. He took his suit and his shield." Bruce said, scratching his beard. "I think It's safe to say he's looking for Natasha."

"Stark, can you track him?"

"Nope. Stripes left his phone and every electronic device I could stuck a GPS into. Plus the vibranium absorbs all the signals." Tony shrugged his shoulders. "It seems he knows how to disappear of the grid after all. Who would have guessed?"

"Natasha will stay untraced as long as she wishes. With all due respect… I don't think any of us, including Steve, will be able to find her." Clint muttered. "Don't forget it took me almost _seven months_ to track her to Budapest. And she put a hell of a fight."

"At least he's armed now, not like the last time." Fury grumbled. "In this case then, I have new orders for you."

Everyone in the room quietened.

"You are not to follow him this time. I _don't_ want another unintentional escapade under my nose. Do not get me wrong, I am very pleased with your results, but Captain Rogers and agent Romanoff almost paid an ultimate price and that's something we cannot afford." Fury said in a serious tone, but then a wide smile crept over his face. "With all due respect agent Barton, I think this time Agent Romanoff _wants_ to be found. It is a matter of honour for Captain Rogers."

Everyone in the room smiled a bit. Seeing an oblivious 95-year-old super-soldier bonding with a reserved, deadly, ex-assassin proved to be at least interesting if not amusing (especially for Tony and his crazy social-media-obsession).

"And when he finds her I will have a nice chit-chat with those short-tempered fools." Fury said. "Now I'd like to introduce a new mission to you."

He pressed a small, green button on his desk and cleared his throat. "Agents Coulson, Hill, Morse and Carter are to proceed to my office immediately."

Soon a well-known yellow folder bearing S.H.I.E.L.D. logo and words in red stating "CLASSIFIED" was handed to each of the Avengers in the room plus said agents, who came in a few minutes after Fury's announcement.

Clint realized that Sharon looked very concerned even if she didn't show it openly. He made a mental note to tell Steve about it.

Meanwhile Fury turned on the holo-computer and loading screen appeared.

"Agents, listen closely-" He started, but Tony suddenly jumped out of his seat.

"I'll grab a snack, before the ads end." Tony called and sped out of the room, before anyone could stop him.

He returned after a few minutes with a pack of blueberries and milkshake and took a seat with innocent smile on his face. Everyone (except for Clint and Thor who immediately took a few berries for themselves) looked at him with irritation.

"What?" he asked as if nothing has happened.

"Don't do that again, agent Stark or I will suspend you from the upcoming mission." Fury said equally annoyed.

"I wouldn't mind." Tony whispered with a grin on his face.

"Agents, your assignment is fairly simple. After successful, yet disastrous mission in Spain, agent Romanoff and Captain Rogers managed to break Alcala's weapons-dealing cartel and now the remaining smugglers formed three separate, independent groups which still sell Hydra weapons to those who offer more money."

"I freaking hate those guys. Why there are always those suckers with superiority complex?" Tony muttered and crush another berry.

Fury ignored his comment and continued:

"We have confirmed their IDs: Kenneth Stewardson, Gregory Jenkins and Alfonso Herrera Rodrigues, who used to be Alcala's most trusted henchman. Initial plan was to bring them to justice and for trial here at the S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters for crimes such as smuggling, theft, murder and endangering national security, but our intel indicates they won't surrender under any circumstances after the loss of their leader. Phil lost his team thanks to those bastards."

"And that leaves only one option." Bobbi Morse said grimly. "Elimination."

"Indeed. You know the drill." Fury nodded. "Agent Coulson will tell you everything you know, he's your coordinator for this mission, got it?"

"Yes, sir." Everyone replied collectively (except Tony who was crunching the last one of his berries).

"Very well. You are dismissed."

* * *

His favourite sport trainers left symmetrical bipedal tracks in the cold sand of the eastern seashore; as always his morning runs never failed to remind him how thrilled he was being able to simply _run_. It gave him this irreplaceable sense of freedom, taking problems out of his mind.

For some of his new neighbours it seemed at least interesting to find a well-built, blue-eyed man running with a wide grin on his face despite the fact it was as early as 6.00 am.

"Old habits die hard." he would think to himself, pondering his times in the US army when Colonel Philips mercilessly woke them up for routine morning workout. He missed that.

Steve was grateful for the harsh training as it made his character stronger and more perseverant – he also realized he could find peace of mind in physical exertion, especially when he was finally in peak human condition and nothing seemed impossible for him.

Now, six months after Natasha's unexplained departure, this morning runs turned out to be the best solution, whenever beautiful redhead spy messed with his thoughts; after the events in Spain and the episode including the winter soldier, he left with just a letter on the kitchen table at the Avengers Tower. He took his equipment, shield and sketchbook with drawings of Natasha, and caught a plane from NYC to London.

After arrival, he rented a motorcycle and headed to a small town of Dunwich on the eastern coast, where nobody knew him and that was _exactly_ what soldier was hoping for. Steve needed to cool down and then visit an old friend near said town – a long time ago he made a promise and he was about to keep it.

* * *

Clint turned on his phone and dialled spy's number. He hesitated for a few seconds before he hit the round, green button. Surprisingly for him, she didn't keep him waiting and answered the call fairly quickly.

"Hello, Nat? Are you there?"

_"Yeah, I'm here, Clint."_

"Where are you? Why didn't you tell me you're leaving?"

_"I thought we'd established that I won't... can't be around for some time."_

"No munchkin. _You_ did, not we. You know you hurt him badly."

_"At least he doesn't need to be tortured for me..." _

"Bullshit. You know, damn well, he is when you're not here. It's even worse, because he doesn't fully understand why you left. He blames himself for you leaving."

There was an extended period of silence, after which Clint finally heard her quiet words, full of guilt and sorrow.

_"He's my weakness, Hawkeye. I can't have weaknesses… he could have been beaten to death back there at the Hydra base, so winter soldier would gain access to me. If it happens in the future, if someone will take him to get to me… This though is killing me." _

"But he cares for you. And we both know that's a mutual feeling, a feeling you have probably never felt before, except for me of course."

"_The Red Room-"_

"The Red Room has nothing to do with this. You're strong, confident and beautiful woman, Natasha, and I know what I'm talking about. The way you look at each other… it has been pretty obvious for the Avengers and agents we work with."

"_Oh, really?"_

"I see how you look at him. Like there was no other in the world, the fire in your eyes says it all. Everyone could feel it in the air. And for some stupid reason you both deny it and play cat and mouse."

This time she quietened for a very long time, so long that Clint checked if she didn't end the call.

"You there?"

_"I doesn't deserve his love, Clint. I don't… I don't want to stand in his way. He deserves a better life." _

"He does absolutely nothing to stop you from doing so. I believe he _wishes_ you to be in his way, Nat."

_"If he knew what I have done when I was with the Red Room, he would probably never talk to me and that is what I fear most, Clint… " _

"He couldn't do that. He loves you with his whole heart, I won't even tell you how depressed he became after your departure. A shadow of his former self. It was a miserable thing to look at."

_"Clint, I can't..."_

"Natasha, tell me please. Why do you hide the feelings that prove you are not the heartless murderer Red Room tried so desperately to make you? Why don't you just admit you love him, huh?"

_"..." _

"Nat? Natasha?"

Silence.

"NATASHA! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO STUBBORN?!"

He looked at his smartphone and saw she has ended the call. "God dammit."

At the far side of the line, Natasha closed her eyes, desperately trying to hold back the tears.

* * *

He returned home from the run and jumped into the shower. Hot water washed away the sweat but not the thoughts which haunted him for such a long time; this six months felt like an eternity for him. At some point he had problems with recalling such mundane things like pancake breakfast with Natasha.

He stepped out of the shower, groomed his overgrown beard and combed his hair, doing a perfect 40s-style parting. He knew that other Avengers, including Natasha, considered it funny but he liked it anyway. It reminded him of all times, with Buck and all that.

He put on black jeans, a navy-blue shirt with a matching sweater and then grabbed his leather jacket. Having locked the door to his apartment he hopped on the bike and sped off to the nearest florist.

The bell rang when he entered the small shop.

"Hello there. Can I help you?" clerk dressed in green apron and matching hat asked.

"I'd like to buy a bouquet of lilies. White ones." he replied, reaching for his wallet.

The clerk nodded and chose seven, large lilies with beautiful white petals and golden stamens.

"Got yourself a girl, huh?" she asked with a wide smile.

"Perhaps in another life." he smiled sadly and the clerk nodded with understanding.

Twenty minutes later he was on spot; the cold, autumn wind blew the dry leaves out of the silent cemetery path, as he made his way towards her resting place. Having attended the funeral four years ago he knew where to look.

The gravestone was a thick sheet of white marble with simple flower ornaments and a few lines of information carved into the sturdy stone.

**MARGARET ELIZABETH CARTER**

**04/09/1921 – 06/03/2016**

**Founder of S.H.I.E.L.D. and heroine of United States of America**

**NON OMNIS MORIAR**

He crouched and put a bouquet of white flowers, wishing he had spent more time with her, that he had told her how much she meant to him and how much she turned his life upside down.

Steve sat on the bench facing the grave and just stared numbly at it. And then, before he knew what he was doing, he just talked with Peggy as if she was alive and well and stood right in front of him.

_"Hi, Peggy. Remember when I promised I'll come back to visit you? Well here I am… and I've got to admit I have a problem I hope you would help me with. Quite a big one in fact and I really have no idea how to solve it. I know I don't need to say you always had a special place in my heart, but... Such a shame we had so many opportunities and so little time together. Everything could have been different if it wasn't for the war and all that. I guess it wasn't our time._

_But I'm glad you moved on, that you have found happiness in your life after my... death. I don't deny it, Steve Rogers died that day and this whole life after defrosting thing, now I see it clearly, is as if I borrowed these years from someone else… _

_We parted when we were young. We reunited when you had your whole life behind, while I've just woke up and realized I am a 95-year-old lonely man. And I feel so awfully… empty. And this emptiness is so cold. All my family is long gone. All of my friends are dead… _

_It's good I can still talk to you, though. You're the only one I can tell everything, you're the one who always listens. I know that, even though you won't respond, you're somewhere better than this world. And you're still listening to old man's blathering._

_God, I do sound like an old man! Fortunately Tony's not around. _

_I'm glad that you found love, Peggy, I really am. A true, mutual one; I'm happy that you met someone who took care of you instead of me, who loved you with all his strength and will, the way I would. _

_The man who went in the ice all those years ago thought about the same thing, about settling down, a family... I guess someone else came out._

_And then I met __**her**__ Peggy and my life hasn't been the same since. My world has fallen, shattered into a million pieces and I just don't know how to put them back together. She's the key, a magnet that attracts me, and yet I know we cannot be together. I don't know what's happening, she's not even my type. Too hard and relentless and entirely without rules."_

Steve sighed and took out his sketchbook. He opened on the last page, where he had a drawing of Natasha, sitting in an armchair and sipping hot chocolate. She was wearing a loose, blue knitted sweater and black sweatpants. She smiled and her fiery red hair that surrounded her beautiful eyes like halo.

"_Well not entirely, after all she reminds me a lot of you, Peggy. She's strong, unyielding and beautiful just like you; only with this cunning, modern wit I find so unbearably confusing at times."_

He scratched his beard.

_"Ah, who the hell I am kidding, she's exactly my type." _

Steve laughed a little and immediately realized how weird he must have looked like, drawing and talking to himself in the middle of a cemetery. Fortunately there wasn't many people around, at least not interested in his unusual one-way conversation.

_"Anyway this is a real problem, Peggy. This girl I like... I think I love her and I know this to be true, however I am not sure if she feels the same way. We always got on well, but recently after our mission, we got in serious trouble. I... I was tortured and this winter soldier bastard asked me if I am ready to die for her. I think she knows I would. And I will if there is such need, Peggy. I can't stop thinking about her. _

_She burns in my mind, day and night, and yet I didn't tell her about the way I feel. I was a fool and I fear I have lost her forever, Peggy… just like I lost you. _

_She left a long time ago... I haven't seen her in months, I don't know what to do nor where to look. She left because of me... Why it has to be my fault?_

_I'm such an idiot, Peggy. _

_She said she doesn't want me to suffer for her, yet she doesn't understand that I suffer every time she is not around. How can I possible hope to tell her that? I love Natasha and I've lost my only chance. _

_Can it be worse?" _

Of course nobody answered him. Natasha wasn't there and the cold gravestone remained still and silent as always. Small tear rolled down his cheek and fell to the ground.

_"Oh, Nat..."_

* * *

Natasha frowned at her phone as it buzzed again, effectively distracting the spy from reading the book, which partially helped her to distract her mind.

Her eyes were puffy and sore but she looked at the bright screen of the sleek, Stark-issued smartphone anyway. Of course – Steve Rogers. Four unread messages and three unanswered calls.

She pursed her lips, muted the device and tossed the phone onto the bed. If she wanted to protect him… she had to severe all contacts and _he_ had to understand she did this for his own good…

She hated herself for that.

Her eyes returned to reading, but the meaning of words escaped her notice and soon she caught herself thinking about handsome blue-eyed super-soldier.

She shook her head with exasperation.

_"Stop it, Romanoff. He's got his life and you have yours. And there's no place for love in it. Love… Love is childish."_ she forced herself back to reading and yet again she found herself staring at the same paragraph and not understanding it at all.

She shut the book with flustered sigh and went to the kitchen to grab a coffee and think about something normal, mundane to occupy her mind with an undemanding subject.

As she could've guessed she failed miserably. Steve Rogers was on her mind more frequently than she thought he could and frankly she put progressively less resistance to not think about him. She missed him, very much since their parting half a year back.

She sat in the armchair and didn't even bother to grab the book; she just got lost in deep thought.

_He was her friend, just like Clint, except Clint have known her far better and much longer than Steve and treated her as if she was his little, mischievous sister. _

_Natasha had the same feelings of sisterly love for the archer... But not for Steve Rogers. No._

_THIS was much more complicated._

Natasha sighed and took a sip of hot coffee. Why her life had to be so troublesome? Why she couldn't just drown her sorrows in this cup of velvety liquid?

_She knew he loved her, she saw it in his eyes during interrogation, not to mention his words which, albeit indirectly, confirmed her predictions. _

_The fact he was ready to die made her barriers crumble more than anything he has ever done. Sole fact that he trusted her with his life was staggering, unreal and felt as if something ethereal. And she was the Black Widow - very few people who surprised her lived on to tell the tale. _

_Right... Ever since she met the blue-eyed, old-fashioned, confused and terribly dressed man back there at the helicarrier, she could not deny she liked him – right from the start – but he was definitely not her type. _

_Steve was such a naïve boy-scout, everyone was aware of that. Sometimes she found his super-moral behaviour extremely annoying, even though she knew it was a consequence of his upbringing. Super-soldier was also inhumanly stubborn at times and it was very hard to make him change his mind. _

_But then, their following moments together – in the heat of the battle with otherworldly aliens or at the Avengers Tower watching a movie together, gave her a little sneak-peak, an opportunity, to get to know America's greatest hero a little better._

She chuckled a bit.

_The blue-eyed super-soldier proved to be also caring, thoughtful, kind and strong. Natasha knew countless men with such traits and that would be nice and all that, but Steve… Steve was just different. _

_He was quiet, modest, perseverant and unyielding. What it is more, now she knew he would rather die himself than let her be taken away and such deep feeling must have been hidden from everyone, even from himself. She knew that because she did the same thing. _

_Plus he was just excellent at cooking._

Then she sighed, her lips twitched unconsciously.

_She knew it was stupid to leave, but she saw no other choice. That part of Red Room's training rooted inside her a loooong time ago, so long it became a part of herself. _

_No attachment. We are free. No emotions. We are free. No feelings. We are free. No love. We are free. _

_On one hand she saw no other option but on the other – she was slowly resisting it. She befriended Clint and had a new family, who loved her the way she was and didn't care about her blood-stained past. And now blue-eyed super-soldier was taking control of her heart, no matter how hard she thought it was impossible. _

She smiled sadly to herself with defeat.

_Who the hell she was kidding, he was exactly her type. _

She realized how much she wished she was with him, in his arms, save and sound, listening to his heartbeat and sharing his heat.

She wished she wasn't so _alone_.

* * *

"How long has he been like this?" Tony asked Clint as they both peeked through the door to Steve's bedroom.

The soldier sat in the chair and stared blankly outside the large windows of the Avengers Tower. The weather in NYC was awful, there were grey clouds covering the sky and the rain hit the glass in a monotonous rhythm, depriving everybody of smile and will to live.

The room was poorly lit and almost dark, which made Steve look as old as he should – for his actual age.

"Hey, Stripes, I wondered-" Tony said, followed by Clint, but they were immediately cut off by Steve.

"Leave… Leave me alone." soldier mumbled, not even bothering to look at them.

Tony glanced with worry at Clint and they quietly closed the door.

"Well this sucks." Archer said. "I have never seen him like this before."

"Yeah, me too." Tony replied. "And I was going to offer him a private stripper."

Clint looked disapprovingly at billionaire but decided not to comment this weird idea.

"Do you even know where he was recently?"

"No idea."

They both turned around when they heard silent footsteps behind them. It was Bruce, still in his lab coat and glasses on, probably returning from another researching session.

"Hey, Brucie." Tony called.

"Hey, Tony, Clint. Why are you skulking around Cap's bedroom?"

"We wanted to cheer him up. He's so down, depressed even." Tony replied.

"Of course he is. He visited Peggy while he was away. And now a love of his life doesn't want to contact him and he doesn't know why." Bruce said, taking off his white lab coat.

"And how do you know that?" Tony asked surprised and then turned to Clint. "You knew that?"

The archer nodded, while Bruce continued. "It's amazing what a simple conversation can do. You should try it from time to time Tony instead of this… inappropriate propositions."

"Yeah, I'd rather eat my own ass." Tony muttered under his breath, so that they couldn't hear him.

He had a plan of his own.

* * *

At eight o'clock guests started to show up and Tony, dressed in his wild-party outfit, greeted everyone with a huge smirk on his face. The communal floor was well stocked with piles of beer bottles, hot-dogs, hamburgers and other trash food (including Tony's all-time favourite cheeseburgers) and soon was filled with a fairly large group of people.

The music was loud and genius billionaire found with satisfaction that everyone was enjoying themselves. Thor, Sam Wilson and Bobbi Morse were all sparring with Clint in the same video game, the archer had played with Natasha once, and were shouting like crazy whenever one of them got ahead of the others. Bruce Banner was having a conversation, over a beer, with James "Rhodey" Rhodes and Phil Coulson while Maria Hill and Sharon played pool. There was also at least a dozen of other S.H.I.E.L.D. agents roaming around and just having fun. The only one missing was of course Pepper and Happy, but those two were almost _always_ busy.

"Excellent, time for phase two." Tony thought to himself and headed for Steve's floor. He walked into super-soldier's bedroom and grabbed Steve by his arm.

"Okay Cap, enough of this, get up."

Super-soldier mumbled something about being left alone, but Tony was relentless.

"We're gonna cheer you up, whether you like or not."

"Tony give me a break, please." Steve said sternly.

"Negative. I've prepared a party and I'd like your butt downstairs where everyone is having fun. You shouldn't be sitting here alone." Tony said and forced confused super-soldier into the elevator. "You already lost a chance for a private stripper – fine, but you could at least have a beer and talk with us, am I right?"

Steve sighed with annoyance and stood up.

* * *

"O-okay, gu-guys, we need to brain-brainstorm something or we'll lose bo-both of them." Clint muttered, stuttering a bit – a result of the amount of beer he drank.

The party was over for quite a long time already and the only party-goers who stayed up were Bruce, Clint and Tony, while Steve and Thor slept on the couch, each in a ridiculous pose and snoring like two giant bears (it turned out that Asgardian mead did its job unexpectedly well and got super-soldier drunk for the first time ever).

Tony poured them another glass of Johnnie Walker whiskey, he himself taking the whole bottle.

"Sooo… I guess the only way to cheer him up is to find Stevie a girl. No sorry… a dame! That's what they called them back in the 1700s…" Tony said and hiccuped loudly. "I know _juuuust_ a place where he could… possibly… find a 'dame'. Whaddya say?"

"Not just 'a' girl." Bruce sighed who drank the least. "Plus you probably thought about something really awful and I don't think Steve's gonna like it. We must bring Natasha back, she's the one he cares for."

"I thought about the same thingy." Clint replied with a smile, but then his grin slowly faded. "But Tasha won't come back. And believe me she _is _stubborn as hell."

They fell silent, slowly emptying their glasses of the amber liquid. Suddenly Tony's face widened with huge, devilish smirk. "Well I think I might've just a teeny-tiny idea… quite brilliant I must say! Legolas, you need to do something for uncle Tony."

"I'm not gonna like it, am I?" the archer slurred, he and Bruce both looking suspiciously at genius billionaire.

"You're gonna be the bait." Tony grinned, taking a fair swig of liquor from his bottle. For some reason he was able to gulp down almost ¾ of it in ten minutes. "I mean, if _I_ got killed little red would probably send flowers to the one responsible for it, but if _you_ got seriously injured… well in that case, she might've considered checking on you. It's an awesome plan don't you think…?"

Bruce frowned at this comment while Clint looked a bit concerned.

"What do you mean _'seriously injured'_?" the archer asked, looking doubtfully at Tony.

"Don't you worry, Legolas." Tony winked at him and then said aloud. "JARVIS send in Mark 43-C."

"But sir, in state of intoxication it's dangerous to operate your suit. Miss Potts…" the AI said in a concerned way which was no longer a surprise to any of the inhabitants of the Avengers Tower.

"**JARVIS**."

"Yes, sir."

"Whoah, whoah, no Stark, we don't need to make it _this _real." Clint said, increasing his distance from billionaire, who was getting inside his armour.

"Bruce, c'mon man, do something!" Archer said looking worryingly at Tony.

"Tony, Clint's right. This has gone far enough." Bruce said with annoyance in his voice. "Take the suit of immediately"

"Trust me, I know what I'm doing. At least I think so."

"You son of a gun." Hawkeye cursed under his breath.

* * *

"What do you mean he got his leg broken and possible concussion? How the fuck did that happen?" She asked, her voice full of ice-cold fury.

Bruce mumbled a quiet answer and immediately regretted it.

"For fucks sake you cannot be left alone for a few months, I swear. I'm coming back." Natasha screamed angrily into the phone, which caused Bruce to jump as if he stepped on shattered glass. "Tell Tony, I'm gonna kill him myself."

"Uh, will do Natasha." Bruce replied tentatively and she hung up.

He turned towards Clint who was in the medical bay of the Avengers Tower and indeed had his left leg in a cast and Tony who sat there with an expression of a beaten dog.

"Well there are some good news. She's coming back."

Clint gave him a lopsided smile, while Tony had a genuine look of terror on his face.

"She's gonna kill me for that, am I right? Probably with a blunt spoon." Tony said in matter-of-factly voice.

"Well that'll teach you something at least, jerk." Clint grumbled.

Tony sighed and rubbed his eyes with his hands. "I shouldn't have drunk so much. I'm sorry Legolas."

"I would seriously considered moving to Asgard, lord Stark." Thor added and everyone, except Tony laughed.

"I must tell Pepper." Billionaire said and ran out of the medical bay.

* * *

_3 days later_

"This is the last warning Rogers. Same goes for you Romanoff. I cannot believe my best spy and best fighter acted so carelessly, endangering the integrity of the Avengers initiative. Your irresponsible behaviour earned you a reprimand and suspension from the upcoming mission. Next time I won't go so easy on you." Fury said, dragging each syllable.

"I do not wish any more of such stupid actions." Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. stated in a firm voice. "Do I make myself clear?"

Steve said "Yes, sir." with an apologetic expression on his face, while Natasha simply nodded. They both knew they got into trouble and now had to bear with the consequences.

"Very well then. That is all for now, you are dismissed." Fury said and pointed the door.

* * *

The same night Steve was laying in his bedroom, his eyes wide open and a thousand thoughts swirling again in his head with a speed of light. Sometimes he got really tired with those reflection, but not this time.

_She was back. Natasha was back! _This fact hit him like a brick to the head but also filled with immense joy and now he was grinning like an idiot whenever _she_ was around. Natasha Romanoff finally returned to the Avengers Tower and Steve Rogers at last felt as if he was regaining a sense of purpose in his life.

Aside from everyone's being happy with Natasha reuniting with them (except for Tony, who soon joined Clint in the hospital), Steve knew that Redhead spy was furious with him, Stark and Clint for getting so drunk during that party. Super-soldier has already apologized her at least ten times and got her a fluffy teddy bear, but she still pouted whenever _he _was around.

Although Steve would never admit it, he did not take Fury's warning too seriously and he knew well that Natasha did the same. Steve chuckled to himself, still not being able to believe his luck.

_Everything was slowly getting back to normal._

He reached to turn off the little lamp on the nightstand when he heard a quiet knock on the door of his bedroom.

"Come in, please." Steve said and he sat on his bed.

The door slowly opened and super-soldier saw Natasha in her black-red pyjamas, which matched her fiery hair. She was barefoot and holding the teddy bear he gave her.

"_God, she's so beautiful."_ Steve thought with a goofy grin on his face. "Hey Natasha."

"Evening, Captain." She replied, her voice still bearing a slight hint of former anger.

"Uh, something's wrong? You cannot sleep?" he asked her, trying not to jump up and down, because she was _finally _talking with him – for the first time in last three days.

She shook her head, her tangled red hair like a firestorm, tempting and hypnotizing him all at once.

Suddenly she approached him and made a vague gesture with her head. "Move, Soldier."

He complied and she slipped under his blanket. He gave her his pillow, even though she didn't need one, and encased her in double layer of navy-blue blankets as she was shivering a bit.

Then he took a spare blanket from his cupboard and made his way to the sofa, all the time being under watchful eye of Natasha, who looked like a tigress preparing to leap. He was about to lay down when he heard her voice, so quiet he wouldn't have made out anything, if it wasn't for his enhanced senses.

"Captain..."

He turned back to her.

"Come over here." She whispered and the soldier hesitantly obliged. He slipped under the blanket and she quickly snuggled next to him. Steve felt his tensed muscles relaxing and he finally realized everything _was _back to normal again.

"I missed you Steve." She whispered to his ear. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, I missed you too, Nat." Soldier kissed her forehead gently and then smiled widely. "Rogers – one, Romanoff – zero."

"Oh, shut up, grandpa." She grumbled, her voice muffled by his proximity.

"Yes ma'am." Steve turned off the light.

* * *

**A/N: Awww, finally some fluff! I hope you enjoyed this little sneak-peak into their romance and be prepped for more. Peace! WS**


	7. Living in another world

**A/N: Hi! Without further ado prepare for Romanogers fluff. **_**Lots of it. **_

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Marvel Cinematic Universe, etc.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 7: **Living in another world

_You're the love that I hate  
You're the drug that I take  
Will you cage me?  
Will you cage me?  
You're the pulse in my veins  
You're the war that I wage  
Can you change me?  
Can you change me?_

_\- Starset, "Monster"_

* * *

When he woke up, there was a heavy blizzard outside, raging through the streets of NYC and covering the buildings with a white, velvet drapery. Intricately designed snowflakes swirled in the cold December air, turning the city into a mysterious landscape, looking as if it was made out of cake icing.

He got up and made his way to the bathroom. Natasha mentioned earlier she liked his new look with the beard, so he groomed it carefully and made his all-time-favourite 40s-style parting. Then he dressed up in his usual not-so-heroic office uniform and glanced back at Natasha, who was still sleeping, calm and blissful.

It took some time for him, with his old-fashioned, strict manners, to get used to the fact that in 21st century he _could _sleep with a girl and not be her husband. They were just _friends _after all.

It seemed extremely weird for him, just like the last time in Barcelona, however, _this _time (to both his and Natasha's surprise) it was Steve's initiative.

"I can't let you be alone, especially at night, knowing that last time that bastard got you." he told her and prepped his bed for her to sleep in, while Natasha made some _really_ inappropriate comments about his dignity (she hopped into his bed nonetheless).

Though it made him embarrassed beyond any expectations, he was still able to convince himself it was a right thing to do. Friends need to protect each other.

The only problem was, whether Natasha was still his _friend _or… well, who she was for him - _that_ was a good question, which bothered him for a very long time now.

He came closer and adjusted the blanket she was sleeping under, as it almost slipped to the ground. He gave her a gentle kiss on the cheek and she fluttered one emerald eye open.

"Where you goin'?" she asked drowsily.

"I'll be back in a few hours. We can go ice skating in the evening, if you like." He whispered into her ear.

"Sounds great." Redhead spy muttered and buried her face in his covers.

Steve closed the door silently behind him and took the elevator to the communal floor where he ate a modest breakfast. When cooking for someone (especially Natasha or always-hungry Thor) he would always come up with something original or more sophisticated, but when he ate alone, it was a simple, soldierly meal.

Then he headed to the garage and got into one of the agency-issued cars. He sped off to the S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters, being well aware of how boring and tedious work awaited him.

* * *

Natasha tried her best to fall asleep after his departure, but after almost an hour of rolling over she came to a conclusion that she won't get more sleep. Not when he was not around.

Recently she was only able to fall asleep when Steve was inside the same room, sleeping on a sofa or (even better) _with_ her in the same bed.

Plus, she didn't have any nightmares when the soldier was holding her – even the memories of his torture were slowly fading away while she melt in his arms.

A longing sigh escaped her mouth and she stood up in order to make the bed. Normally her covers and pillows would be a complete mess; Natasha was an active sleeper, even if she didn't have nightmares.

However now when Steve was in the same room as her, she would sleep peacefully the whole night, especially if he embraced her, and her covers didn't take much time to be adjusted properly.

She was about to leave, intending to have a cup of coffee and a toast, when she caught a glimpse of Steve's sketchbook; she knew how reserved and secretive he was about those drawing, but she just couldn't help her curiosity.

"Spy's character, I guess." she shrugged her shoulders.

Natasha took the sketchbook from under his pillow, opened it and started to admire these little pieces of art. They were like colourful shards of glass, which separately didn't mean much, but when put together – they would tell a story of someone far more complicated than meets the eye.

_An old, small house, a happy family, weaving as if Natasha was standing in front of them and taking a picture. The time froze and those smiles would always be there, no matter what happened after._

_A set of family photos, one of which depicts a tall, lanky man with mustache and somehow familiar facial features. Steve's father, Joseph, who died in world war II. This is what we call irony; this certainly wasn't the 'war to end all wars' yet it consumed countless lives. _

_Modestly equipped kitchen. Steve's mother cooking the delicious pancakes he learned to prepare so many years after she passed away. _

_Young boy playing chess with his best friend Bucky Barnes. Steve was still skinny. _

_A drawing of him getting rejected at various recruiting points throughout the United States._

_Steve getting beaten up in an alley and Bucky helping him out. _

_Scrawny boy talks with a man with glasses and benevolent smile. Erskine. _

_His friends from the army, joking about something which was not meant for her to know. _

_Howard Stark working on Captain America's vibranium shield. _

_Doctor Erskine's dying in Steve's arms and pointing his trembling hand at soldier's heart. _

_Battlefield. Planes flying over and raining bombs over dirty-looking soldiers hidden in trenches. _

_Peggy. Peggy Carter. _

_Bucky felling off the train. The picture shows no Steve but his hand, which didn't manage to catch his friend in time. _

_Plane crashing into a frozen wasteland, accompanied by a shower of burning metal shards._

_A ballroom full of military suits and elegant dresses. A glimpse of brown hair and red lipstick, a snowstorm raging in the background. _

The next page is blank with only one word in its centre, almost illegible, as if the writer's hand was shaking.

_Cold_.

She flipped the page and noticed that soldier changed his sketching style.

_Cityscape of old New York, transforming into the modern one with neons and billboards, the transition smoothly and skillfully captured. _

_Fury shaking Steve's hand. _

_Battle of NYC. Iron Man flies around in his suit, blasting the aliens with mini-rockets and repulsors. Thor on the top of Chrysler building, summons a powerful thunderbolt, causing the sky to turn dark. Clint fires arrows with inhuman speed, while Bruce Banner's alter ago smashes the aliens as if they were little rag-dolls. _

_A ruined city and a perspective view of the Avengers Tower in the morning sun. _

_His old house, now serving as an exhibition, full of modern-looking people with children and Captain America toys. Little, plastic figures probably had no idea what kind of horrors their real-life counterpart had to endure._

Then she saw something she was never meant to find (at least Steve hoped she wouldn't). Drawings of Natasha Romanoff. And not just one, _that_ was for sure.

_Natasha fighting Hydra agents. Natasha trying her best to find him a date. Natasha crunching a toast and reading a book. Natasha training in the Avengers gym. Natasha in an armchair with a mug of hot chocolate. Natasha shouting at him. Natasha sleeping peacefully, curled like a cat. Natasha crying. Natasha leaning against the railing of the balcony staring at the neon vapour of NYC streets. _

She flipped to the last page, which was bookmarked with his dogtags, and saw that it also depicted her face.

_Natasha's deep eye in a colour of verdant grass and one lonely strand of her blazing-red hair, which escaped her fringe. An ambiguous smile dancing on her small, soft lips. _

The metal was cold against her warm skin, but now she realized that the dogtags were at last where they belonged.

* * *

"Good morning, Captain Rogers." Agent Maria Hill greeted Steve who was about to enter his office.

"Hello Maria." He nodded in response.

"I've got a few documents for you to fill. From director Fury." She said, handling him a small, black pendrive with S.H.I.E.L.D. logo, which he suspiciously looked at. Those little pieces of technological crap could store _limitless_ amounts of data. Steve did not like that _at all_ when it came to him using the computer.

He thanked Maria and entered his office. It was a small room with black walls, black floor, black desk, pretty much everything was black here except for huge sliding window in front of his desk, from which he had a magnificent look of the city.

After turning on the computer and launching the system, he plugged the pendrive in and soon a fat folder full of various files appeared on the screen. He watched in horror as the list unrolled itself, finally hitting an unbelievable number of 224 files.

He sighed with frustration. Well, it was time to work off his "irresponsible behaviour", as Fury put it.

"_Why there is no alien invasion or somethin'? I could really use that." _he thought to himself, clicking on the first position on the seemingly endless list.

* * *

He returned to the Tower at about 5.30 pm and found the redhead spy reading a book, he recommended her a while ago. Steve tried not to notice that Natasha was wearing one of his white army t-shirt which looked ridiculously loose on her small frame and revealed _much _of her shapes, effectively distracting him.

"Something's wrong? You're late."

"Oh, it's nothing, just those stupid computers. Still a nightmare for me." Steve sent her an apologetic smile, doing his best not shift his sight from her eyes. "You'd like somethin' to eat, before we go skating?"

"Depends on what's on the menu, Rogers." She replied, putting the book away.

"How about home-made tacos?" He started taking the supplies out of the cupboard.

"That'll earn me a few more training sessions." She replied in a serious tone, carefully examining her body curves (Steve tried his best not to examine them himself). "And _you_ Rogers, will be responsible for that."

"Well then, you can always try Tony's famous, hmmm let's call it _dish_." Soldier replied with a smirk, as Natasha glanced at the horrific abomination on the kitchen counter, which was meant to be "uncle Tony's specialty" (whatever it was supposed to be).

Needless to say – it certainly wasn't and the rest of the team decided to just order pizzas (extra-large ones for Thor of course).

"Soooo… what are those tacos of yours supposed to be with?"

* * *

It was snowing all day and it did not stop when Steve and Natasha headed for the ice rink, prepared in the Central Park on one of the frozen pools. The trees around the pond looked like those in "Narnia: the lion, the witch and the wardrobe" movie and turned an ordinary park into an unusual dreamland, lit by small lanterns here and there.

They paid for the boots and ventured onto the thick sheet of ice, where it soon turned out that Natasha moved effortlessly and gracefully, while Steve looked like a bull in a china shop.

"Hey Rogers! I hope you know how to use those remarkable pieces of technology?" Natasha teased him, while Steve struggled to keep his balance on the ice.

"Yeah, pretty much." He grumbled. "Just give me a sec, it's not the first time I'm skating… "

"_... but definitely for the first time in 70 years." _He finished in his mind, glad she could not hear him.

After a few tries to maintain his equilibrium, the soldier got a hang of it and soon he sped off by Natasha's side, whose skating skills were a sight for sore eyes.

"Who would have guessed that Red Room training would bring me one day onto the ice, skating with a 95-year-old grandpa?" She called after him, as he was able to get ahead of her.

"You know what, Romanoff?" he countered with feigned offense in his voice. "And I thought about taking you for a mulled wine."

"Awww, you did? That's so sweet." She blinked at him and his face turned much more red then it already was.

They skated for a long time together, chasing each other and doing crazy pirouettes all over the frozen pool. Soon they were the only people at the rink – it started to get dark and late.

Finally, breathless and sweaty, they decided it was time for a break and settled in a cozy café called "Winter Wonderland" organized inside a large, white tent, facing the frozen pond. Inside, there were fans placed, which produced waves of hot air, a true salvation for two chilled skaters.

Natasha ordered a huge mug of steaming mulled wine, and so did Steve, regardless of the fact that he was immune to its effects.

"I missed that." She said, after a long period of comfortable silence.

"What exactly?"

"A normal life. What you did today… this was a magical evening. Thank you, Steve."

"Don't mention it. I would do anything for my friends and taking you for ice skating seemed like a really good idea." he replied with a smile. "Glad you liked it."

"I did." She took a sip of her wine and fell silent.

They both watched the cottony snow, piling high outside the café, until a waiter came over and asked them to leave – the place was closing. The soldier glanced at his watch and saw it was almost midnight. The time just seemed to fly when she was around.

Steve insisted on paying, which earned him a glare from Natasha, and soon they were on their way home. The full moon was high in the sky and the path ahead was flushed with its silvery glow.

As they were passing by a frozen fountain, Natasha jumped on its stone edge and giggled like a 5-year-old girl. Soldier smiled, watching the spy stretching her arms for balance, wishing their life was just this _mundane_.

Redhead was almost at the end of the fountain's edge, when she slipped on the ice and was going to hit against the frozen ground. Steve managed to catch her just in time, her feet dangling in the air (which looked kinda sweet and funny).

"Thanks, Cap." She muttered in a relieved voice, and when he didn't put her on the ground she giggled again. "Oh, you're gonna carry me to the Tower? That's really adorable, you know?"

She winked at the super-soldier in a way nobody does, which made Steve smile widely. He gazed into those deep, mischievous emerald eyes which he had drowned in, oh so long ago and wished they could just stay like this indefinitely.

"Possibly."

He adjusted her wool scarf so she would stay warm, however while doing so, he spotted his dogtags' chain on her neck. How could he have missed that earlier?

"You've seen the sketchbook, am I right?" Steve asked blankly. "You… you've seen it all."

Natasha decided it was no good to say she was sorry or that she didn't.

"I did."

"I…"

"It's okay."

She was _dangerously _close and smelled temptingly of cinnamon and vanilla. Her fiery hair and glowing cheeks made her so _impossibly cute _that he felt his stomach turning upside down, his heartbeat rising.

"You've got talent, soldier."

Before he knew what he was doing, Steve pressed his lips against hers.

Their kiss was gentle, slow and endearing.

"I love you Natasha." Super-soldier whispered after they broke apart and lifted his eyes to look upon her.

At that moment he expected at least a smile from her and wasn't ready for what followed. Natasha had a vague expression; she was definitely not smiling. He could tell something has changed, something has disappeared from her eyes.

Steve cursed himself in his mind. Did he _really_ need to kiss her? Di he _really _hoped to find something in those orbs?

"I'm sorry, Natasha… I… I shouldn't have… " He mumbled awkwardly, feeling like an ashamed teenager which, needless to say, was an _awful _feeling.

"It's probably… the wine." She said not looking at him, even though they both knew that Earth alcohol had no effect on the super-soldier.

They returned to the Tower, not saying a single word to each other. They both had a lot to think about. When they reached the entrance, Steve muttered something about his sports bag left downstairs in the gym, but Natasha knew he just had to cool off, so she let him go.

She watched the soldier disappearing in the elevator and a sad sigh escaped her mouth.

* * *

Left, right. Left, right, right, left. Left, right, left, left, right.

Steve punched hard and with inhuman speed; this was his way of letting some steam off. _How could he have said that?_ He was well aware it would scare her off.

The chains clattered and finally broke with a loud metallic sound. The punch bag landed on the floor of Avengers Tower's training room with a thud.

Steve glanced at seven damaged punch bags and decided it was enough for this evening, so he grabbed his equipment and put it nice and tidy by the wall in a special chest.

He reached into his pocket and took out the watch. It was 1:17 am. Steve wiped the sweat off his forehead with the palm of his hand and emptied a whole bottle of cold water.

Then he turned off the lights at the gym and left for his room, intending to wash away the sweat and calm his burning muscles.

Having entered the bathroom, he locked the door and stripped of his training clothes. He stepped into the shower and started washing himself vigorously, trying not to think what he would tell Natasha tomorrow.

Why did he have to be so stubborn and self-centred? He just invited her for a skating evening in the Park, for God's sake, something two _friends_ would do in their free time. And not for a date – that was for sure.

_"Oh, yeah, keep telling that to yourself."_ a silent voice whispered in his head.

But then… why did she answered the kiss? She could have pushed him away, she could have said "No, Steve, we shouldn't do that." but she didn't. He felt her eagerness, her yearning, her happiness.

On the other hand… why did she looked so shattered? Blaming this on the wine would be a childish thing to do.

He sighed and raised the temperature of the water. Steve _hated_ cold water and always took hot showers; he turned on the rainshower so as to wash the shampoo away... and almost jumped out of his skin when he heard a quiet voice by his ear.

"You surely don't like cold showers, do you?"

He was so startled that he hit his head against the shower's sliding door and muttered a curse under his breath.

"God dammit... Natasha?! Is that you?"

"Whoa, you kiss your mother with that mouth?"

"Very funny." he mumbled, finally getting rid of shampoo out of his eyes. "I'm not in the…"

Then he realized he was completely naked and Natasha was leaning against the door, watching him with this well-known smirk of hers. He couldn't understand why she didn't seem upset.

"Uh oh, Natasha... Do... Do you need anything?" he asked awkwardly, trying to cover himself with a towel, but as he might have expected – there was none. He started to suspect she might have had something to do with it.

_"I remember closing those doors..."_ a late thought raced through his head._ "How did she got here so silently anyway?" _

Meanwhile, Natasha glanced below his waist and whistled.

"Well, well this serum did its job reaaaaally well." she said, winking at him.

Steve's face turned so red, that he almost looked like as if he had 3rd degree burns. And he was _just _taking shower after a simple workout.

"Uh, if you don't mind... I'd like to finish..."

"I do, Rogers." she said and turned the key in the door.

Steve gulped down, feeling both a tingling and a burning sensation in his stomach. She was probably furious with him and now wanted a revenge.

"Wha-What?" he asked totally confused, but then Natasha approached him in two short leaps, as if she was a predator, wondering how to devour her prey.

_"But she is, Rogers. You know that very well."_ he thought to himself backing away from her.

"Shhh." she whispered, pressing her finger against his lips. "I have a problem, and you're the one who can help me."

"A-Am I?" Steve stuttered, feeling completely stupefied before Natasha who was, again, _dangerously_ close to him, now also wet from the hot streams of water.

He was both flustered and (_"Oh, my God!"_) excited at the same time, though he would never, ever admit it. The latter was of no consequence of course, as his excitement was far more visible then he was able to control it.

"These wet clothes are extremely uncomfortable." She muttered into his ear. "Would you mind...?"

"Uh, oh... I guess." he replied, unaware what he was doing nor what he was saying. His sense of rationality knocked around his mind but was no longer relevant, not when she was here.

"That's good, soldier."

Her fiery hair, turned scarlet as they soaked with water, her proximity felt as if he was in a dream, which he didn't want to wake up from. He could not believe he might have lost her...

Soon her wet, tangled clothes were tossed aside, at the bathroom floor, and now she was narrowing the distance between them, pushing him against the glass wall of the shower cabin.

"Natasha... What... What are you doing?"

She didn't respond, instead putting her arms around his neck. Her lips were close, very close...

"Natasha... Nat."

Suddenly she stopped, just an inch away of his face.

"How did you call me?"

"You don't like it?"

"No, it's just... Say it again, please."

"Nat."

"Steve."

She pressed her lips against his, and Steve Rogers felt his world shatter into a million pieces, each of them filled with emotion and... and _her_.

Her soft, warm, eager lips tasted heavenly and suddenly he realized how he longed for this moment, how he depicted it countless of times in his dreams and how he shouldn't have reacted the way he did, at the park.

He embraced her with his strong arms and lifted her up. She squealed in a surprise like a little girl, but was immediately silenced with a kiss – this time an initiative of the soldier.

He did not stop there however; Steve moved slowly from her lips towards the base of her neck, covering each inch of her smooth, rose-scented skin with tender kisses, bringing her to the brink of possibilities, while the world around them dissolved in hot water and equally burning emotions…

Natasha moaned with pleasure as he made his way towards her belly, worshiping her body in a way she just _couldn't_ expect from the soldier.

After they came from their high…

"St-Steve!" She gasped, breathless. "I didn't know... You're not bad at this, you know?"

Steve looked into her emerald eyes with his crystal blue ones.

"Well... I have a good teacher." He winked at her, Romanoff-style, and brushed his lips against hers again, this time making the kiss a long passionate one, their tongues fighting for dominance in each other's mouths.

The super-soldier effectively took all of redhead spy's thoughts out of her mind.

* * *

"Where's Cap and Tasha?" Clint asked ravaging through the kitchen closets, in search of a night snack.

"Steve's probably at the gym, I dunno." Bruce said and accepted a beer from Tony.

"Lord Steven is training, in preparation for future battles, I am sure of it. That is what a true warrior would do." Thor stated in his deep voice, fiddling with Mjolnir's handle.

"Then why aren't you training as well?" Clint asked, crunching a butter cookie, which were Steve's specialty.

"I have trained enough in my life, lord Barton. And I am an Asgardian." Thor replied in a confident voice and shoved at least a dozen of butter cookies into his mouth, which earned him a look of respect from Clint.

"Well, it's Saturday night _and_ they are both coincidentally absent, so..." Tony said and made a suggestive gesture.

Bruce shouted "TONY!" and glared at him while Clint and Thor laughed out loud (Thor almost suffocated himself).

* * *

The scent of the roses was intoxicating, its sweet fumes filling the air and their minds finding each other in their passionate dreams.

* * *

"I'm betting 50 bucks that Stripes and little Red are currently veeeery preoccupied with each other." Tony said with a grin so wide, as if he got a Christmas present in July.

"One more word, and the other guy will put this party on fire." Bruce replied in a cold voice and turning slightly green, which made Tony jump like a frightened squirrel, accompanied by even louder laughter.

* * *

Steve made sure that spy's smallest toe was under the blanket, warm and cozy. Her head rested on his chest while he unknowingly stroked her still slightly wet hair.

"Nat?"

"Yes?"

"About that moment in the park. I…"

"I'm sorry, Steve… I shouldn't have…"

"Don't be, please. Now I understand a few things." Steve said with a sad smile. "Never wondered why I have no regard for my own life?" he asked blankly.

Natasha smiled faintly when she recalled how often she would shout at him for his reckless behaviour during missions, Barcelona being one of the thousand.

"Family, stability... Guy who wanted all that went into the ice 70 years ago. I think someone else came out."

Natasha raised her head and looked at him with commiserative expression. She tried to say something, but Steve sighed and continued:

"However, _you_ Natasha proved me wrong, you proved that I still have a purpose in my life. You prove it to me every single day I look at you. That I deserve the second chance despite all those things which were taken away from me. It's what kept me going through all those years after defrosting."

He smiled bitterly and looked through the window. It was dark and cold out there, their ice skating was now nothing but a memory being covered by snow.

"Ironic. Captain America is not so perfect after all."

Natasha, terrified, glanced back at him. She has never heard such words from Steve nor did she ever expect him to say so, especially after what they just experienced.

"Please don't... Don't say that."

"It's okay Natasha, now I think I know who you really are to me..."

"And that is?" she asked so quietly that without his enhanced senses he would not able to detect it.

"Somebody to die for." Steve looked at her. "That's why I managed to take the impact of that bomb, that's why I was able to survive the tortures..."

Natasha turned her head, closing her eyes. Hot tears rolled down her cheeks spilling onto the ground. All her barriers – so meticulously built over the years – now crumbled and vanished into thin air.

Steve cupped her face with his rough, soldier hands. He tucked a strand of her fiery red hair behind her ear and gently brushed the tears off her face, the corner of his mouth slowly rising in a knowing smile.

"I cannot live without you Natasha. After five years out of the ice I can finally admit that I'm back. I'm back because I you're by me side."

Despite her vision being a little blurry, she looked into his baby eyes, always so honest and unyielding, always so _sparkling_ with the feeling she had so perseveringly rejected all her life.

"You're my home, Natalia. I love you." he said her true name for the first time. The tears began to flow freely and she couldn't help but to sob loudly.

_"Gosh, she's so beautiful…"_ Steve thought to himself as he leaned down and kissed Natasha on her soft, wet, shivering lips, holding her gently in his arms. They deepened the kiss, equally yearning and eager, as Natasha buried her hand in Steve's hair, pushing him closer to her.

When they finally broke for air, Natasha, still crying, realized she felt as if living in another world. A place where she belonged. Where she would stay for a long, long time.

It was now simple. Why not give it a go?

"So do I Steve... So do I."

* * *

**A/N: I hope you loved the fluff here as much as I did when creating this chapter. I wish you all have a great week. Peace! WS**

**PS: Special thanks goes to millerr123 for the review! Keep them up :)**


	8. Ghost

**A/N: Hello there and please forgive me for this awful delay. The amount of the e-learning is just overwhelming recently and when I finally have time to write sth down I'm too tired.**

**I hope you enjoyed the fluff and you're ready for some more action now. Please, drop a review or two.**

**This is the second-to-last chapter, our adventure with Steve and Natasha slowly begins to end…**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Marvel Cinematic Universe.**

…

**CHAPTER 8: Ghost**

_The grass was greener  
The light was brighter  
The taste was sweeter  
The nights of wonder  
With friends surrounded  
The dawn mist glowing  
The water flowing  
The endless river_

_Forever and ever_

_\- "High Hopes" by Pink Floyd_

…

_16 hours earlier_

"... and in that moment she grabbed the gun and emptied half a clip at me." Steve finished his story while Natasha smirked at him. "Howard looked as if he was about to faint and frankly so did I... Hey what's so funny about that?"

"Oh, nothing. I would do the same if you cheated on me."

"Wait, what? I didn't... It was not..." Steve stuttered. "If you're talking about that… that accident... I was cornered by that woman who was interested in me only because the serum... Made me look a bit better then I used to."

"Well the serum did its job flawlessly soldier. That is America's ass." Natasha winked at him and small hint of red coloured his ears.

"Anyway... Well... Peggy saw me kissing that woman, or rather that woman kissing me and I guess she... she got angry. A bit." Steve finished awkwardly while Natasha pierced through his eyes with that knowing, little smile of hers, which always made Steve wonder what devilry she would come with next.

"I like when you stutter you know. It's kinda adorable." she said, sipping her drink.

"What about making me uncomfortable? I think that's your specialty." Steve replied. "I didn't cheat on her."

"I know. Otherwise you'd be dead and no vibranium could save you." her face was serious except for the eyes, which glittered playfully.

"You know what Romanoff?" soldier feigned an offence.

"Yeah?"

"I love you, Kitty."

"Don't be cheesy."

"I know you like it."

"Well I know I don't."

"Nuh-uh."

"You're so dumb Rogers."

"Only when you're around."

She rolled her eyes but at the same time felt comforting warmth inside. _"Point for you, Rogers."_

Steve stood up and called upon a waiter. He paid for their drinks and offered Natasha his hand with a smile on his face.

"Wanna take a walk?"

They headed for the beach, where they strolled alongside the seashore, cold waves sweeping over their feet. It was simply _nice _to get away from the all the fuss Tony did around them while at Tower, or Fury always giving the missions of 'utmost importance'. In such moments like these Natasha thought that they could actually have a normal, steady life. At least from time to time.

Suddenly something clasped to her and didn't let go. She smiled unwittingly, but wanted to maintain her cold-face-mask just for the sheer fun of Steve's confused look.

"Not here, Steve."

"Oh, c'mon, you like hugging."

"No, I don't."

"You don't sound much convincing to me, you know."

"Let me show what 'convincing' means, Rogers… Hey!"

Steve took her up, bridal-style, causing her legs to dangle hilariously in the air. Droplets of salt water swished around them. Soldier grinned at her surprised face with his classic, dorky smile (which for some reason reminded Natasha of mentally-retarded kids).

"2-0, Romanoff."

"Do you want to get tased?"

"You wouldn't dare."

"Wanna find out?"

He kissed her before she could add another of her sarcastic comments and didn't stop until she was almost out of breath.

"Can I ask you, soldier…"

"Ah, ah, ah. Shhh..."

Suddenly Natasha totally forgot what she was about to say, though she would never admit that he got upper hand in their little competition.

…

_"I got him in my sight."_ she said, looking through the scope of her Blaser R93 sniper rifle.

"Where?" Steve whispered to the wrist comlink.

_"To your left, about thirty meters and approaching."_ she replied quietly.

"Copy that." he was hiding behind a large blue container, his fists clenched in anticipation of attack.

The man in grey suit received a kick to his legs, followed by an immediate double blow to the base of the head. His eyeballs sank into his skull and the body fell to the ground with a heavy thud.

_"I thought you would do it gently, Cap." _her lips quirked in a smile, which he couldn't obviously see. _"We doesn't want him get brain damage or something." _

"Oh, we don't? My bad." he said, a little amused.

He was disgusted with killing people, no matter thugs or not, but that didn't mean he wouldn't kick their asses from time to time. Especially if they were affiliated with HYDRA like the man in grey suit.

Steve quickly removed his body from the street and hid it in the abandoned hangar nearby, gagged and tied to the water pipe in an abandoned maintenance room. Then he took a large envelope from the breast pocket and checked its content. The money was inside as it was supposed to.

He redressed himself, using unconscious man's clothes. He also took the hat and the wallet the man was carrying. Now he was looking like some kind of important businessman.

"I secured the money and I got his clothes." he reported.

_"Can you confirm his identity?"_

"Anton Jon Fender." Steve glanced at unconscious man's ID card.

_"That's him. Okay, now go talk to the boss. He'll probably be well guarded so no weapons, they gonna search you."_ she replied through the communicator. _"I'll cover you, but I must have a window to get a clear shot, if somethings goes wrong."_

"Copy that." Steve peeked through the doors of the hangar. There was not a single person around; it looked like this neighbourhood was not frequented by locals, except for the one group of people in Rotterdam you wouldn't like to meet under any circumstances. Ever.

Black Angels.

Probably the most ruthless motorcycle gang in Europe. Doing everything shown in cliché movies about criminals, except for real and with any remorse whatsoever. Dealing the worst drugs, smuggling illegal weapons (including HYDRA-issued ones) and selling people as slave labour.

Steve's fists clenched unintentionally. He calmed himself with a few deep breaths; he needed to stay in control in order to complete this assignment. Plus he couldn't let Sharon see him losing his temper.

Soon he found himself in front of a high gate, protected by spikes and barbed wire. Nothing he could handle so far. Behind it there was a large area, a few Harleys in sight, looking like a parking lot behind a shopping mall.

Steve approached the gate and pressed the small red button. He could hear loud buzzing sound and soon he was greeted by an almost two meters high, troll-looking, bald thug with lots of tattoos. He held really bad-looking magnum colt in his hand and had an even more nasty machete tucked behind his belt.

"Who the fuck are you?" the gang member scanned Steve from head to toe with his pig-like eyes.

"I've got an appointment. Your boss told me we could meet."

"Name?"

"Fender. Anton Fender."

"Wait here." the bandit ordered and disappeared for a few moments in a small gatehouse.

After a few minutes he returned and opened the gate for Steve. Then he checked him for weapons and when he didn't find any he got out of the way, muttering under his breath:

"If you try anything, I'm gonna rip your fucking legs off and shove them up your ass, fancy-pants. Got it?"

"Absolutely."

"Good. Now get lost."

Steve entered a large, tall building which looked like some kind of loading terminal, but has been adapted to meet the needs of the gang. His first impression when he came in was pure disgust as he saw a group of slaves being harassed and hit with a gas-pipe by a particularly obnoxious individual.

"You call that cleaning, you fuck? You'd better have a good excuse or I'm gonna feed you to the fucking dogs, you piece of shit!" thug shouted kicking nearest slave to his stomach so hard, that the latter lost his breath and looked as if he was choking.

Steve did his utter best not to kill or at least mutilate the bastard, but then again he thought about how he hated the idea of killing. Plus he had a mission to complete, which was probably the only reason why he didn't send the bandits into the oblivion already.

So he passed by, and entered the main hall where there were countless gang members, enjoying their criminal live and a whole bunch of things that disgusted Steve to a maximum extent.

He was greeted by heavy, black rock music, a course voice shouting from the speakers. Everywhere he looked he met threatening looks, heaps of steroid-boosted muscles, tattoos and of course loads of weapons. Enough to kill him ten times.

And between those weapons and even larger amount of beer bottles, he could see half-naked prostitutes, manoeuvring around the thugs, supplying them with even more drinks and psychoactive substances.

"Hey motherfucker, where can I get such pretty suit, huh?" one of the gangsters laughed.

"Yeah, you ready for your funeral? You only need to ask." the other one joked, making an offensive gesture in Steve's direction.

"Just tell me where is your boss room." soldier replied calmly, knowing better than to challenge a room full of thugs. He could hold his own, but they were armed and the mission was far too important to be compromised by a stupid argument with those no-brainers.

"You fucking dumb or what? Upstairs. Of course if you'll manage to pass by Big Joey, haha." another thug smirked.

Slowly the other gang members lost interest in Steve and returned to their activities which included gambling for money, drinking hectolitres of beer, taking drugs and enjoying striptease.

As he was heading towards the stairs, he thanked Tony in his mind; before he entered the gang's den, he made sure to leave all the weapons and gear behind, so that the thugs wouldn't take it away. What he kept however was a tiny comlink tucked into the mechanism of his watch, provided by Stark Industries.

This way Sharon could at least _hear_ what he was doing or where he was heading, when he was not able to communicate himself. Steve hoped Sharon got him covered in a place like this.

Plus he was glad he managed to convince her to stay behind. The Black Angels treated women in a way Steve could not comprehend and he would never forgive himself if his partner got... Well he knew what would happen if she got captured.

So he made his way upstairs to the 'office' of the gang's leader, where he would retrieve the sensitive photos, which were supposed to land in the hands of HYDRA agent, he was now pretending to be.

Big Joey turned out to be much bigger than he expected and Steve was searched yet again for weapons or other dangerous objects.

"If you try anything stupid..." he started but Steve waved his hand at him, exasperated.

"I know, I know. You rip my legs, I get it."

"Exactly."

Steve nodded and opened the door. The first thing he noticed was how fresh the air in the room was and how clean it was. After seeing the moral decay downstairs he did not expect the leader of the gang to be well-dressed man with taste in exotic furniture and classical music, which was playing in the background.

However he quickly gathered himself up, as it was enemy's headquarters and he knew better than to believe seemingly civilised-looking enemy. Black Angels were not to be trusted at any cost.

"Good evening, Mr Fender, I am glad you came." the gang leader shook Steve's hand. It was coarse and strong, indicating that the man was to be not taken lightly. "My name is Vincent van Rahn."

Steve smiled to himself. He knew quite a bit about so-called Vincent whose real name in fact was completely different – blank and boring. As always S.H.I.E.L.D. gathered a fair amount information, which Steve made a point to study well.

At least Vincent probably sounded more dangerous and fitted better the image of a crime lord.

"Likewise. If I remember correctly, you addressed my boss, with an issue of pressing importance." Steve decided to play along. Who knows, maybe he wouldn't have to punch his way out of this one?

"I did. I came into possession of a few pictures that may shed light on an interesting person, you see. Also, this will help your company with hmm... marketing issues and you'll be the best selling journal in the country."

"Sounds interesting, please go on." soldier pretended he was not informed enough, which earned him a pitiful look from Vincent.

"I assume you know the leaders of the Dutch political scene, right? We both know what them well, we see them in evening news, we read about them in magazines." Black Angels leader seemed like an elaborate kind of guy. It always annoyed Steve that criminals just _had_ to monologue, before they got to the point. It always sounded ridiculous to him.

"I won't name them, there is no point in that. However where lots of people fight over power this one person remains in the shadows, calling the shots, while each and every one of them thinks that they are in control..." Vincent continued. "A very cliché scenario, don't you think?"

"You know this person?" Steve acted as if he couldn't hold his curiosity at bay.

"I do. Secretary Lydia Dorrenbauff is a spy in service of S.H.I.E.L.D. a top-secret organization designed to keep international peace. I didn't care about Lydia nor that so-called saviours of humanity, until recently when she interfered with my... business."

"I see." Steve said, his brows furrowed. So it was true, Lydia had to be evacuated fast, if Black Angels were after her.

"And this leads us to the point of our little meeting." Vincent approached the wall to the right of his desk and opened a safe, hidden behind a painting of Rotterdam's harbour.

A thick folder landed on desk in front of Steve. He wouldn't be surprised to see Lydia, his colleague, if he didn't spot someone, who was not meant, who just couldn't be there.

Trying to remain as calm as possible he pointed towards a photo of red-haired woman talking with Lydia during some kind of meeting he did not remember taking place. Suddenly he thought how stupid and vulnerable he felt in this whole masquerade.

"Who's that?"

A vague smile crept over Vincent's face. "Oh, I think you know the infamous Black Widow. Honestly I believe you know her too well, Mr. Fender."

In that moment Steve froze in his seat as he felt cold metal pressing against the base of his skull.

"How is my sweet, little Natalia doing, Rogers?"

...

She always looked dangerous when she was mad and Steve knew it was like fiddling with a tigress. One false move and you're a dead man.

"Why does _she _has to gowith you? Nick really believes that _she _is better than me?"

"Well, she isn't the worst either. Remember she's the best sniper right away behind you and Clint."

"I know that, but I don't want her devouring you with her eyes."

"Calm down, Nat. Fury just thinks that we are too… distracting for each other while on a mission. He wanted to see how I operate with other agents."

Natasha scowled, the serpents of her fiery hair swept around her shoulders.

"And I didn't ask for her. Yet she is a talented agent and we both know that."

"I just don't like her."

"That's a very kind way to put it. I think you wanted to use word 'hate' or 'despise', am I right?."

"Very funny."

"I'll be okay, Nat. Don't worry."

"You better be or I'll kick your ass."

"And I love you too."

She tiptoed towards him and kissed him gently on the cheek.

"Be careful, Steve."

…

"I'll leave you two alone for now. Don't stain the carpet, please." Vincent said to the assassin, putting on a black coat and taking the content of the envelope. "Oh, Captain, don't worry about the photos. They're in good hands."

He left quietly closing the door behind him.

"So it's you, son of a bitch." Steve muttered under his breath. "How?"

His opponent's laugh was muffled by the mask with red visors.

"No matter. I had to find you." The winter soldier hissed like an enraged animal and made a gesture towards his mask, which Steve could not see. He could not see how horrifically disfigured the face of his opponent was, thanks to the explosion back at the HYDRA base.

"So that you would pay for what you did to me."

"I should have killed you myself."

"Well, you lost your chance, just as I did. This time I am not going to repeat that mistake." The gun clicked ominously as the trigger blockage was switched off. "Now we'll go to the roof, there's helicopter waiting there. Don't do anything stupid and maybe you'll live. For now, at least."

"We'll see about that." Steve said and in the same moment he could hear the window crushing.

The bullet would have killed the winter soldier instantly if it wasn't for his face-mask. Steve could not believe that it actually managed to stop 28 mm calibre, not to mention the fact the assassin was somehow alive, even though the impact of the bullet sent him to the ground.

Steve knew he would not have better chance, so he busted through the door and sprinted towards the roof. He could hear the Black Angels already chasing him and their shots missed his head only a few inches away.

"Sharon, get the hell out of here!" he shouted through his hidden comlink.

"I won't leave you!" she responded and he heard a surprised screams downstairs, as the thugs, one by one, were shot down by his partner.

"That's an order!" he shouted and kick-opened the door to the roof, sending the guard who was standing behind, into the air. The gangster rolled on the ground and fell over the edge of the building, screaming.

Steve looked hastily around and couldn't believe his eyes, couldn't believe he fell for such simple trick. He realized there was _no_ helicopter. An empty, concrete space with nowhere to run.

"Well, what now, Rogers?" the winter soldier asked, and Steve turned abruptly, only to meet the deformed face of his enemy, now with a grimace of pure hatred on it. "I told you, not to do anything stupid."

"I have a knack for that." Steve replied, desperately waging his options.

The assassin smiled. "Not anymore."

The next thing Steve saw was the assassin pulling the trigger while something blue -and-red flashed before his eyes. A loud metallic sound was heard and super-soldier thought for a moment that he was hallucinating.

There was a man, standing between him and the winter soldier. A man who also had a metal arm, now holding Captain's shield, and identical face-mask, except without the protective goggles. His eyes locked on Steve for a millisecond and in that moment, Captain realized, who has just saved his life.

These were not the grey eyes, deprived of any traces of humanity, but the brown eyes of his old friend.

"James?" he asked stupefied, taking his shield back. The man nodded in response, while the winter soldier bursted into laugh.

"So, James Buchanan Barnes, is alive after all. I should've known you'll get your memory back someday. But that is of no consequence, I'll bring the Doctor both of your heads."

Bucky ignored the comment. "S.H.I.E.L.D sent the helicopter. Your partner is already there."

"I'll stay with you."

"No, punk. This is my fight. I need to finish… what I have started."

Steve had no idea what James was talking about, but he knew his friend wouldn't warn him for nothing. At least he hoped so.

"We'll meet again." Bucky put his normal hand on Steve's shoulder. "Go!"

"Very touching. I'm still here, you know?"

"You talk too much, Sokolov."

The winter soldier smiled and clenched his teeth in ravenous manner.

…

"What the hell happened? I thought I told you to go." Steve said, as they were increasing the distance from the Black Angels base. Helicopter sent by S.H.I.E.L.D. was piloted by one of the countless agents and quickly evacuated them out of the Rotterdam towards a secluded area, where quinjet was supposed to take them back to HQ in NYC.

Steve had already redressed himself from battle-worn suit to his Captain America's outfit and was currently sitting in passenger's seat with Sharon to his left.

"I don't leave my partners behind." She muttered under her breath and handed him a bottle of water. He emptied it in a few seconds. "Plus your friend showed up and first thing he did congratulating me on the shot."

Steve didn't respond to that and sunk in his grim thoughts again.

_Bucky was his best friend since he could remember… they spent so much time together, that he became something like a brother to him, and frankly was Steve's only 'relative' after death of Sarah Rogers._

_James was lost at the end of the war when he, Steve and other Howling Commandos were to hijack and capture the train Arnim Zola was attempting to escape; and while they achieved success, Steve have never forgotten the look of fear on Bucky's face when he was falling down the canyon, having not caught his friend's hand in time._

_Turned out the one, who once protected they sickly boy from Brooklyn, became vicious, brain-washed assassin without conscience. But then again he saved Steve's life and stayed behind to find Sokolov… something was wrong with that picture._

_What was that supposed to mean?_

"Sokolov, the winter soldier you shot, told me he'll bring our heads to the 'Doctor'."

"What Doctor? Maybe it was a codename for his boss?"

"No, I've got my own suspicions. After what I've seen today, I think it might actually be…"

"Zola? It's impossible." She said looking cautiously at him. "You know that."

"Well, now I have my doubts. I've just met my friend who was presumably dead for over 70 years."

" Steve, it _is_ impossible. Arnim Zola received fatal diagnosis, he couldn't have survived, not with the medicine at his time." Sharon shook her head. "I've read the medical files, he died over forty years ago."

Steve rubbed his face with his hands. This was _way_ more complicated then he wanted it to be.

…

As the helicopter was carrying him away, the winter soldier gazed towards the vehicle, his eyes glimmering with rage.

"You think you can protect him?"

"If I kill you, I won't have to."

"You know Barnes, you've always been the weakest link among us. Doctor was disappointed with you."

"I don't care about it, nor do I care what you have to say."

"Please, don't be as stubborn as that idiot of yours."

"I don't let you harm him."

"If you return to the ranks of Hydra, Doctor may be able to forgive you, for betraying him."

Bucky smiled, though his opponent could not see it.

"Resistance is futile, Barnes. Surrender yourself and maybe _I _won't have to kill _you_."

Now behind the winter soldier was at least a dozen of armed Black Angels, brandishing weapons and fiddling with all sorts of nasty-looking guns. And then in a blink of an eye the two opponents engaged in close hand-to-hand combat.

James was glad that, though Steve was a formidable fighter and was capable of taking down almost anything and anyone, was not here. Here he would _definitely_ have a problem.

Ex-assassin had to focus his all strength and concentration just as he did while creating the plan of escaping HYDRA in order to merely survive the encounter and possible find a weak spot in Sokolov's defence.

They fought in complete silence, no talking, no shouting, nothing but a metallic sound of their bionic arms and assassin blades swishing with inhuman speed.

Two killing machines met on the battlefield to test which one is more effective at doing what they did best.

…

"What do you mean, there are _two_ winter soldiers?" Fury asked in a blank voice looking at Steve and Sharon with disbelief. "How can we not know about this?" he turned his eyes to perplexed Phil, who shrugged his shoulders.

"It means that it was Sokolov, not Bucky, who captured Natasha and tortured me." Steve responded.

"James Buchanan Barnes died in 1945. You were there, you know it well, Captain." Fury said quietly. "I thought sending you with agent Carter, instead of Romanoff, would provide no weak spots for you and not draw the attention of Hydra."

"Natasha is no weakness of mine." Steve said coldly. "And Sharon saved my life. Just as Bucky did."

Fury sighed and took the seat behind his desk.

"You do realize, what I need to ask you, Captain." Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. made a gesture towards the screen, where they all could see displayed information concerning the winter soldier program.

"I do, sir. I only ask you, not to assign Natasha for this mission." Steve closed his eyes.

"That decision does not belong to me nor to you, we both know that." Fury said and nodded at Phil. "You are free for now, I want you to be well-rested and in full combat capacity."

Steve and Sharon nodded in silence and turned to go away, when the door to Fury's office slammed open and a tall figure in black outfit entered the room.

In an instant Fury drew the gun from the holster underneath his coat and so did Sharon, while Steve remained still, as the person immediately seemed familiar to him, though soldier could not place it why.

"Coulson get the security." Fury muttered under his breath, though Phil was already giving instructions through his comlink.

"No." Steve said and approached the unexpected visitor.

The man completely ignored that three people were pointing guns at him and simply took off the hood, revealing once handsome face, now covered with overgrown beard and multiple cuts and bruises. One of his eyes was swollen so much it transformed into thin fissure, while the other one locked on Steve.

"James."

"I told you I'd be fine, punk."

Steve hugged his friend to surprise of everyone in the room.

"Jerk."

…

All the Avengers gathered on the common floor of the Tower. Thor and Clint were playing a video game, while Tony and Bruce talked science (and girls when it came to Tony), while Natasha and Steve sat on the couch, sipping drinks. It was a nice, quiet, non-party Friday evening, something they all needed from time to time.

Steve scanned his team, thinking about how much they helped him to accept his new post-defrosting life. Clint and Maria recently returned from a mission in Bangkok where they encountered yet another group of HYDRA-related drug dealers. It seemed as if his old enemy, in one way or another, did succeed at taking control over almost every country. But then again S.H.I.E.L.D. and his team were to take control of Schmidt's devilry any day.

Meanwhile Thor visited Asgard and found that his brother, god of mischief, managed to break free once more and escaped his prison. Thor chased after him through nine realms, which ultimately led to Loki getting away; the bright side of the situation was that he didn't cause any chaos. Yet.

Steve locked his eyes on Tony and Bruce. Those two shared one feature, an undeniable love for science, but apart from that were complete opposites. Tony Stark was overly confident (and oftentimes narcissistic) inventor with taste in fine alcohol, expensive items and inappropriate jokes while Bruce was calm and collected, preferring a steady life (which of course was impossible for someone who frequently hung out with Hulk), always having a good advice for his friends.

Soldier was thankful to call them friends as they saved him countless times and proved to be loyal friends, who would never leave him behind. Moreover they ignored their doubts about James and accepted the fact that he would become a new addition to their team.

And then Steve looked down on Natasha, now curled up to his shirt and taking a nap.

This one was his doom and salvation, all at once, though he still didn't understand it fully. After all he was glad it was Sharon who was sent with him on a mission. He would never forgive himself if Natasha got captured or met Sokolov again, it couldn't end up well, that's for sure.

Steve shook off the negative thoughts. He had those too often recently.

And then they all heard a quiet 'ding!' and the doors to the elevator opened. Everyone turned their heads towards Bucky, who entered the room, looking like someone who lost his way in a big theme park.

It kinda reminded Steve of his failed fate at the StarkExpo all those years ago. This time it was Bucky who was confused.

"Uh… hello." He said awkwardly nodding his head at Steve.

The first one to speak was of course Tony.

"Hello! How do you like my Tower, Bucko?" He approached Bucky with a huge smile and shook hands with him.

"It's really big, much bigger than buildings I remembered."

"Well it's because it was _me_ whobuilt it. Feel free to explore." Tony patted him on the shoulder, while Thor and Clint came closer to meet Captain America's best friend. Bruce who already knew Bucky waved from his place.

"It is always an honour to meet Captain's companion-in-arms. Welcome!" Thor shook hands with James and turned to Steve. "He has a firm grip. I like that."

Steve just smiled and watched as Clint and Tony was freaking out Bucky's bionic limb.

"Is that a metal arm? That's so cool!"

"Mind if I take a few tests?"

"If you don't shut up, it will be the last thing you'll ever test, Stark." Natasha said in a dangerous voice, strutting towards Bucky, while Tony took a few steps away, just to be out of her reach.

"So. It wasn't you who kidnapped me and tried to torture Steve to death?" she asked quietly and suddenly everyone held their breath in anticipation.

"No. I'm sorry this had to happen, but I could not do anything. The brainwashing effect wore off some time after you escaped the base on the Aleutian Islands." Bucky gave her an apologetic smile, which for Steve was extremely comforting, seeing how his old friend was slowly regaining his former self. "Actually thanks to you and the destruction of the base, my former superiors forgot to erase my memory and I retained enough consciousness to escape. Thank you."

Steve glanced at Natasha, who carefully scanned his friend.

Without the cuts and bruises and after a few days spent in the medical bay, under watchful eye of Bruce, ex-winter soldier looked almost like new. Though now, when he was not killing or being put into kryostasis, he had some problems with adjusting.

Steve smiled. He could never expect that _he _would be the one to help someone else _adjust_.

Finally after a few minutes of silence, Natasha offered him her hand, which the ex-assassin gently shook.

"It's not your fault, it wasn't you, we know that." Steve put his hand on his friend's shoulder. "We'll help you get back in shape."

"Thanks." Bucky simply nodded and sighed. "I'm afraid it needs to wait, though."

"And why is that? I was looking forward to babysitting _two _fossils, instead of one." Natasha sat on the couch and gave him a cautious look.

"I didn't manage to kill Sokolov."

Avengers exchanged worried looks with each other.

"But how did you survive in the first place? Steve said, that whole gang was chasing him." Clint asked, turning of the video game.

"If you saw him in action, you wouldn't ask such question." Natasha said. "I wouldn't worry about Black Angels, but that Sokolov… who is he? His name rings a bell…"

"Probably because he was one of the trainers while you were with the Red Room…" Bucky sat next to Steve and mussed his hair with his bionic arm.

"What?" The redhead spy had a distant expression on her face. "Why can't I remember anything?"

"It was part of the training. You were _not_ to remember your trainers, so you could not know his fighting style in case of betrayal." Bucky said quietly.

"That's really messed up. Did you do anything else than to learn how to kill someone with a spoon in fourteen different ways?" Tony asked, pouring himself a glass of whisky. "Anyone? No?"

Steve shot him a disapproving look, but the genius millionaire didn't seem to bother.

"Unfortunately not. And Sokolov was best among us… among them." James said in a blank voice. "He did everything to please his master, he's more of an animal than human now…"

"I can confirm that." Steve gave him a lopsided smile.

"That is why we need to finish him. He was the first Winter Soldier ever created."

"Honestly I didn't believe they existed up until now." Clint shook his head. "And I work for S.H.I.E.L.D. for quite some time."

"Yeah, I thought they were all killed after the malfunction at the facility in Siberia." Bruce added.

"They were, except for two. One of them is sitting in front of you, while the other one is this sadist, Sokolov. He was kept in a separate bunker, somewhere around the Arctic Circle. Nobody knew its exact location but the Doctor himself." Bucky responded.

"About that doctor… Sharon says, it couldn't be Zola, but I am not sure. After what I've seen recently…" Steve rubbed his face with his hands. "Tell me it's not what I think…"

"I don't know, Steve. My memory was erased after each mission. The only think I remember is this title 'Doctor' and something like 'You are the iron fist of the Hydra!'." James shook his head. "We need to find out, if it's really Zola, and if so, he'll pay for what he has done."

"I am with you, James." Steve said in a stubborn voice. "No matter what."

"And we are with you Captain." Thor added, and so did every other Avenger.

The last one to nod in agreement was Natasha. "We won't let you do this alone."

Bucky smiled faintly and Steve realized that something long gone returned to his best friend's eyes.

Hope.

…

**A/N: Well THAT was a plot twist, don't you think? Turned out Bucky Barnes had an almost identical clone, who was mistook for him by Captain; however, now Steve and all the Avengers learned the truth and are preparing for final battle. I hope you enjoyed the action **_**and **_**the introduction of another character. Sokolov is of course totally fictitious figure, I came up with the name just now, while writing this chapter.**

**Again I apologize for the almost 2-weeks delay and I'm afraid I can't say when the final Chapter 9 will be published. Be patient though cause I'm definitely going to finish this series. Peace! WS**


	9. In the End

**A/N: Welcome back! I hope you still want to read my story. I wanted to make it special, not necessarily long, but meaningful; also I have finally passed all of my exams and can finish this series. If you haven't seen much of the MCU then there will be spoilers ahead, so beware.**

**I consider this a worthy final chapter, the one to properly conclude the story. The quotes are all from the same song "Somebody to die for" by Hurts, the name of which, inspired the name of my series. It was a privilege to be able to share this with you. **

**I own none of the characters, they are property of MCU.**

…

**CHAPTER 9: In the End**

_I could drag you from the ocean  
I could pull you from the fire  
When you're standing in the shadows  
I could open up the sky_

_And I could give you my devotion  
Until the end of time  
And you will never be forgotten  
With me by your side…_

…

Natasha stretched her muscles and yawned.

"Watch out, you could devour an elephant with that mouth."

"What did you say, Rogers?"

"Nothing."

"That's what I thought."

"Uhh, would you mind moving a little bit?"

"Nuh-uh, it's comfy in here."

"I need to do my morning run."

"As if you really had to."

Steve didn't have a point to present so he remained silent, Natasha still lying on the top of him.

"Let's just stay in bed, shall we?"

"Well I'm not a lazy type. Not like the others…"

"Did I just hear that right?" Natasha fluttered one eye open. "Are you provoking me?"

"Nah, you must've heard something wrong else."

"Have I?"

"Well…"

"Shut up, Rogers." She said and kissed him.

In that moment they both heard a scream so loud that Natasha ended up on the floor, while Steve jumped and slammed the door open so hard, that it swung clean off its hinges. He was ready to face whatever was hiding behind it, but then he was stopped dead in his tracks upon seeing Clint with a stupid grin on his face, covering eyes with hands.

"Ahhh!" the archer shouted and ran away, followed by overly excited Tony, who was now screaming as well.

"Where the fuck is he? I'm gonna murder him with a teaspoon!" Natasha growled, picking herself up from the floor and intending to chase Clint, but was halted by Steve.

"Don't worry, you'll get your back, I know you will."

"Yeah, and he'll regret it. You have my word."

Steve fixed the door behind them and grabbed Natasha with one hand, the other one covering his mouth as he yawned.

"C'mon little princess. You're talking too much."

"How did you call me?! Put me down!"

Steve laughed quietly.

"Your ass is next, Rogers!"

…

All the Avengers were eating breakfast when Natasha came into the kitchen, followed by Steve. She smiled towards everyone, including Clint, which caused an expression of anxiety to appear on his face. He knew he was in big trouble this time.

Steve prepared some sunny-side up eggs, toasts and bacon, and then served them to Natasha, which earned him a loud "awwww" from Pepper and Tony. She ate in silence, while others were bickering about different matters such as science, Tony's pranks and how many pop-tarts can an Asgardian shove into his mouth.

When they all finished, Tony cleared his throat and used his most boastful tone to announce what follows:

"My dear Avengers, as you probably all know, I have just finished my newest suit."

"Another one? Don't have like, I don't know, 30 others?" Clint asked innocently.

"Thirty-eight. But I'm rich. And I like to show it." Tony grinned, which earned him an eye-roll from almost anyone (Thor was too busy putting a whole package of pop-tarts in his mouth). "Plus it was designed to fight everything and anyone, even KGB-assassins and our green, angry friend."

Bruce didn't comment on this, but looked interested and frankly so did the others (which made Tony a little bit suspicious nonetheless). After that Steve did the dishes and they all went straight to billionaire's, _Exhibition _as he called it, on the highest floor of the Avengers Tower.

Even though the only person among Avengers who shared Tony's crazy hobbies was Bruce, they all were awed by the huge display of all the 38 Iron Man Suits (including MARK 37A and 37B), which were masterfully illuminated by first light of the day and some discrete spotlights.

"You should equip at least part of the S.H.I.E.L.D. special-corps with this stuff, Stark. It would be so cool."

"Can't do, Clint. Then everyone can be a super! And when everyone's super – no one will be." Tony replied being surprisingly serious. "JARVIS, drop my needle."

The sound of _Another One Bites the Dust _started to come out of gigantic speakers, giving them a taste of some classic rock. Needless to say, genius billionaire _loved _Queen.

"Ladies and Gentleman, I am honoured to present the latest breakthrough of Stark Industries. A little baby brother of those big boys you can see at the display." Tony said. "MARK 37C at your service."

The suit immediately responded and flew right towards him, quickly clasping around his whole body (which was oddly satisfying). The last piece of the armour was the face-mask which latched onto the helmet with loud metallic sound, while Tony did a backflip to meet it mid-air.

"I'm the _best_."

Tony then proceeded to show them all the functions such as Enhanced-Underwater-Submerge-System, chromotitan plating, improved interface as well as new weapons, including modified laser, heat-sensitive rockets, seismic charges (though he didn't use those of course) and gas-bombs designed specifically to sedate hulk. Stark then moved on to showing them the much-improved flying system… and that was when things went crazy.

"JARVIS?"

"Yes, miss Romanoff?"

"Commence operation '_Hangman'_, please"

"Right away." The AI responded, surprising everyone, including his creator. Tony didn't even realise when JARVIS took control over MARK 37C and bolted the suit, with the billionaire now trapped inside, towards Clint who screamed like a high-school girl.

He grabbed the archer, flew outside the panoramic window, conveniently opened by Natasha earlier, and kept Clint suspended over the railing. Everyone heard Clint's surprised and panicked shouts and bursted into laugh, including Natasha and Steve, whom she told of her plan before they joined the rest of the team in the kitchen.

After few long moments JARVIS returned to the rest of the Avengers with Clint who looked like a child who hated rollercoasters, but was taken for a ride anyway.

"Next time I try to pull a prank on her Tony, slap me in the face." He grumbled, trying to stand up.

"God dammit, you don't need to tell me this twice. I think she asked JARVIS to put itch powder inside the suit…" Tony said, trying to scratch, but obviously couldn't.

"As always, sir, a great pleasure watching you work." JARVIS said, while others couldn't help but laugh.

"Shut up, JARVIS."

…

"Listen, punk. I need to know."

"Know what?"

"That you will not blame yourself."

"What are you talking about? This bunker has been abandoned for years."

"I wouldn't be so sure about."

"We'll manage. You rescued me all my life, I will do the same for you."

"This is something… different."

"What are you talking about?"

His friend was silent.

"I lost everyone, my mother, father, Peggy, Commandos and even you. Why should I do it?"

"I don't belong here, Steve. I retained a fraction of consciousness over all those years of murders for HYDRA and I'm tired."

"I will help you, don't worry."

"No, punk. We must finish what we had started."

"And then you will finally have a normal life."

"No, this was never meant for me. But you… take care of her. Don't screw it."

Bucky pat Steve on the shoulder and left the room.

…

"Rogers… Steven. Born 1918." The computer said and the camera slowly moved towards Natasha. "Romanoff, Natalia Alianovna. Born 1984."

Natasha frowned. "Is this some kind of recording?"

"I am _not _a recording, fräulein. I may not be the man I was when the Captain took me prisoner in 1945, but I am." The computer responded in a slightly offended tone, as an old black-and-white archive photo of Arnim Zola was displayed on the adjacent screen.

Natasha looked at Steve. "You know this thing?"

Steve didn't answer immediately instead taking a circle around the main computer. "Arnim Zola was a German scientist who worked for the Red Skull. He's been dead for years."

The computer responded instantly. "First correction, I am Swiss. Second, look around you, I have never been more _alive_."

Steve's eyes swept the enormous room, with all the lesser computers and servers quietly ticking and working. The complex was so vast, that it probably could store all the data from S.H.I.E.L.D.'s computers.

"In 1972, I received a terminal diagnosis. Science could not save my body. My mind, however, that was _worth_ saving... on two hundred thousand feet of data banks. You… are standing in my brain."

Steve stopped before the green projection of Zola's face on the main computer. "How did you get here?"

"Invited."

A hint of understanding appeared on Natasha's face. "Operation 'Paper-clip'. After WWII, S.H.I.E.L.D. recruited German scientists with… strategic value." The spy said, glancing at Steve.

"So I could help their cause." The computer continued. "I also helped my own."

"HYDRA died with the Red Skull." Steve said firmly.

A symbol of HYDRA appeared on the screen and then transformed into Zola's face, which divided itself into two identical ones. "Cut off one head, two more shall take its place."

"Prove it." Steve said, already knowing the answer.

"Accessing archive." The machine responded.

The soldier and the spy, could hear the sounds of the computer as new photos were displayed on the screen. Steve saw Schmidt's face, full of confidence, a huge army in the background.

"HYDRA was founded on the belief that humanity could not be trusted with its own freedom. What we did not realize was that if you tried to take that freedom, they resist."

They watched as Cap, now 70 years younger, fought with the masked HYDRA troopers, surrounded by ruined buildings and tesseract-powered firearms.

"The war taught us much. Humanity needed to surrender its freedom willingly. After the war, S.H.I.E.L.D. was founded, and I was recruited. The new HYDRA grew, a beautiful parasite inside S.H.I.E.L.D."

Natasha approached the screen with utter disbelief, while Steve stood there, not being able to believe what he was hearing.

"For 70 years, HYDRA has been secretly feeding crises, reaping war. And when history did not cooperate… history was _changed_."

Photos of the winter soldier appeared on the screen. A silent murderer. The one who killed so many, the one that was now, again, Steve's friend.

"That's impossible. S.H.I.E.L.D. would've stopped you." The spy said, incapable of hiding her surprise, but the computer continued as if she didn't interrupt.

"Accidents will happen." Natasha and Steve looked with horror at the photos of Howard Stark with black sign "DECEASED" marked on it. Super-soldier clenched his teeth.

"HYDRA created a world so chaotic that humanity is finally ready to sacrifice its freedom to gain its security. Once the purification process is complete, HYDRA's New World Order will arise. We won, Captain." The computer said proudly and Steve looked at his own face, in an old newspaper from 1945.

_Rogers disappears_. _The hero who sacrificed everything_.

"Your death amounts to the same as your life, a _zero sum_."

Steve smashed in the Zola's computer, which immediately shut down.

"As I was saying…" voice came from the adjacent screen.

"What's on this drive?!" Steve asked angrily pointing towards small pendrive-looking device. Natasha could sworn the computer smiled.

"Project insight requires… insight. So I wrote an algorithm."

"What kind of algorithm? What does it do?" The spy asked.

"Answer to your question is fascinating. Unfortunately… you shall be too dead to hear it." Just as they heard those words, the blast-door behind them started to close; Steve threw his shield to keep it open, but it bounced off and the gate closed.

"Don't lose your precious shield Captain. You are going to need it."

They heard footsteps behind them and Steve realized how bad was their plan, how he needlessly put Natasha in danger.

_Sokolov_.

…

"I don't want you to come with me this time."

"You can't tell me what to do."

"I know. Please just don't…"

"I'm coming with you. Someone's has to watch your back."

"I can watch my back."

"I know. That's why I'm coming with you."

"I don't want to lose you."

"Don't be cheesy."

"I'm not. I won't be able to live without you."

She sighed and when she heard her voice, she was surprised.

"Me neither."

…

Steve quickly pulled himself up from his knees and looked around, only to see Natasha with a gun in her hand, smoke still coming out of the barrel, and a vague expression on her face. Everything just happened so quickly, that even with his inhuman reflex he didn't full realise what was going on.

To her left, right there on the floor, was Bucky. He ran up to him, and helped him sit by the bunker's pillar. His friend smiled faintly with suffering on his face at the same time.

"Hold on, I'll get you out of this…"

"No, not this time... Take that drive."

"Screw the drive. I need you to get to safety first!"

"No." Bucky said firmly, despite heavy blood loss. "You need to take it… the answers are there. Maybe… Maybe you will forgive me then."

"You haven't done anything to be forgiven for."

James just smiled, his grasp becoming weaker with every second.

"I've got to save you." Steve said, not believing what was happening. "I failed once and I'm not going to repeat this mistake."

"You already have." He managed to smile, one last time. "Goodbye, Steven."

Cap looked with horror in his eyes as his friend passed away. The metal arm fell to the ground with a metallic thud. He didn't move nor reacted in any way when Steve called him. Brown eyes of James Buchanan Barnes were empty and distant, staring at something he could not see anymore.

Someone gently put a hand on his shoulder. "Steve... You know you can't help him."

Steve didn't move until he heard a faint laugh behind his back, accompanied by a sound of coughing. He turned away from the body of his friend, only to meet Sokolov's vicious eyes.

"Looks like... I got him first, Rogers."

Steve didn't answer for a long time. Then he stood up and came to Natasha, tears rolling down his face.

"Knife."

"Steve..."

"_Give me the knife, Nat_."

She reluctantly pulled one of her knives, the one with long, slightly curved and serrated blade, and handed it to the soldier. He closed his eyes and made a few deep breaths. Then he turned towards the assassin, yet again and approached him slowly, still prepared for retaliation.

That was, however, unnecessary as soon as he saw multiple wounds in assassin's stomach.

"You're messed up Sokolov. I don't think you'll recover from these wounds." Steve said quietly, weighing the blade in his hand.

"So? Then kill... Kill me." the winter soldier coughed and spat blood onto the ground. "You've killed before. Killing… is easy."

"No. I shouldn't. I should just leave you here, to suffer." Steve responded and put a knife against Sokolov's throat. "I should leave you here, so you can bleed out. Slowly. That's what you deserve." soldier said in a voice so dark, that Natasha glanced at him with worry in her eyes.

She has never heard such tone in his voice before. _Never_.

"Then... Why... Don't you?" a stream of blood escaped the corner of the winter soldier's mouth.

"Because you're not the kind of loose end you want to leave untied."

The blood splashed on the wall, and the body of his enemy slowly ceased to move.

"Steve...? Steve!" she came up closer to him, only to see droplets of blood on the blade, slowly dripping onto the floor.

"Don't judge me, Natasha."

"I won't. Let's get out of here."

"Not so fast, fräulein. I see you managed to kill my last protector, but I am afraid it will not suffice."

Natasha looked at the computer next to the main one, where Zola displayed himself and almost immediately heard quiet beeping in her pocket. She quickly checked her phone.

"Steve. We've got a bogey. Short-range ballistic. Thirty seconds, tops."

"Who fired it?!"

"S.H.I.E.L.D." she said grimly.

"I'm afraid I have been stalling, Captain. Admit it, it's better this way."

Steve looked desperately around until his eyes found a grate in the floor, while Natasha took the pendrive that was still connected to Zola's mainframe. Steve pulled the grate out and jumped through it with Natasha, the words of Arnim Zola still echoing in his head.

"_We are, both of us,__** out of time**_."

Then the missile hit, reducing the bunker to rubble. A powerful wave of energy caused the pillars and roof of the bunker to collapse. Fire was raging everywhere and the only thing Natasha heard was humming of the fire and Steve screaming.

…

_When I'm standing in the fire  
I will look him in the eye  
And I will let the devil know that  
I was brave enough to die…_

…

When the dust cleared enough Steve realized she lost her consciousness. He pulled her from the ground, and saw that the right leg was broken and her body was covered in numerous bruises and cuts. He cursed himself under his breath for taking Natasha on this mission.

The pillar above them was trembling dangerously and he barely managed to get them out of their hiding spot when a few tons of concrete smashed onto the ground, a few inches behind them. Steve looked around, but didn't see any of the Zola's computers. All of them must have been destroyed in the explosion.

He didn't hear the flame tempest around him, nor the falling pieces of debris, instead focusing on getting Natasha out alive of this hell. It was unimportant, that he had a metal shard stuck in his abdomen.

After a period of time, which felt like eternity, he finally reached the reinforced door of the bunker now partially destroyed. Then blast-door fell to the ground and Tony Stark emerged from the smoke with one of his hands raised, as the laser-chip jumped out of his suit's gauntlet.

"TONY!"

"Cap, you alright?!"

"She broke her leg, get her out of here, fast. Everything's will go down any minute." Steve said handing Natasha's weak body over to Tony and fell to his knees, leaning against a giant piece of broken pillar. Tony saw his wound and was about to say something when Steve ordered: "Go! I'll catch with you."

"Steve…" Natasha opened her eyes.

"GO!"

Then the fragment of the wall collapsed forming a giant heap of rubble between them, separating Tony and Natasha from the super-soldier.

"STEVE!"

"Cap! I'll get you out!"

"_There's no time! Go! I'll find another way!"_

…

_Cause I don't need this life  
I just need..._

_Somebody to die for  
Somebody to cry for  
When I'm lonely…_

…

He could see the entrance in the distance, Tony and Natasha waiting for him. He clenched his teeth and gathered a bit more of his energy to sprint towards the exit, though his body was on the brink of destruction. The metal shard must have damaged him badly, as Steve could feel the life escaping with every drop of his blood.

"_STEVE!"_

"_NATASHA!"_

He was running as fast as he could, the world around him collapsing, secretes of the past, all the lies, left behind, the new ones before him. HYDRA ruined his life once, he could not let that happen again. Not this time.

"_NAT!"_

…

_Don't go gentle into the good night. Rage on against the dying light…_

_**THE END**_


End file.
